As much as I hate to admit it - I always scout for men when I start a new job.
When I was an intern at the local TV station in college - reporters came and went in a flash as they sought to climb the rungs out of a small market.
I've always been a bit brash - and one day while editing promo video I got my first glimpse of the newest male reporter as I scrolled through his stand-up outtakes. I was disappointed and muttered, "How come they never hire any good looking guys here?"
The previous male hire was in the edit bay with me - he chuckled and said something to make me realize I had just insulted him! Oops.
A few months later, they hired another guy. This one was C U T E! As I edited his story tape, before I even met him, I decided that I wouldn't let on that I had a boyfriend.
He wasn't interested, but we're still friends to this day. He's gay, BTW.
Well, at my new job there are two men who've lightly sparked my attention. One of them is an obvious athlete, with firm muscles that any girl would admire through the drape of his carefully selected clothing choices. The other is short and stocky, with a bit of a belly.
It's the latter who caught my attention in a staff meeting when he spoke something laced with sarcasm (my favorite) - but still respectful of everyone involved. The twinkle in his eye is what got me.
Over the course of my first few weeks on the job I determined a HUGE age gap - and decided to lose interest over my Christmas break. Clearly, it's for the best. I really like this job and don't want to jeopardize the comfort level in any way.
I came to work today all aloof and internally focused on the tall, muscular guy in my yoga class. Even if he is married - I needed the distraction from the sweet smile in my office!
When short and stocky stopped by to chat I was going to be all business. Then he teased me about something and broke out that smile.
Uh... cute. Stop being cute! I recovered... back to business. Whew.
Later, I had to find him at his desk to verify something and soon we wound up batting casual insults back and forth, laughing. His strong hand was on my shoulder blade, expressing mock sympathy for some silly shortcoming of mine he had just pointed out.
Uh... Flirting 101 - physical contact! And this wasn't the first time I felt his solid, strong hand albeit in a perfectly benign location. Funny, because I thought I was the one struggling to keep my hand from landing on his shoulder during our silly conversations!
So confused! Never experienced reciprocated attention at work before. Ack!