Monday, May 20, 2013

Leave 'em Wanting More

I'm usually the last one to leave a party. I don't know if its because I'm a night owl in the first place, or because I'm happy to help clean up... Probably because I just keep talking.

At least I know this is my weakness, and a sometimes undesired trait.
When I started dating Mr. Burns, at the point that we started hanging out at his house, I told him that I have a tendency to overstay my welcome. Warning him that he may have to say, "Okay, time for you to go home!" And in fact, he soon realized he had to, and was glad he had permission to do so.

Yes, I know the theory that you should always leave them wanting more - rather than wishing you would leave already. But as it turns out, I always seem to be on the other side of that fine line.

I had a date this weekend, and after dinner we went for a walk nearby. It was somewhat circular, and so had a prescribed end. We walked and talked and I felt like it was all going too fast. I wasn't sure if one of us was setting the tempo, or if there was a deadline I was unaware of....
Then he drove me back to my car, where he stopped in the middle of the street, got out and opened my door to let me out. He hugged me, asked for a kiss, asked if we could go out again.... SOON!
It all felt so rushed! There were cars waiting behind us in the street!

I thought, "He's not trying to get rid of me if he's asking for a kiss and another date. Why is it so rushed?"

When I got home, he emailed me saying he felt like we didn't get to talk enough, please let's go out again.
So then I wondered, why did we part at 9:15 if we both wanted to stay together?!?

Then it dawned on me, for the first time probably ever... I left someone wanting more!
Yay me.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Husband Stealer

So the big news today was Angelina Jolie's boobs.
Sorry, that was glib... the news was Jolie's announcement that she opted for a preventative double mastectomy due to the 87% percent likelihood that she might develop deadly breast cancer like her mother before her.

Certainly, that was a brave decision. Particularly for someone who makes her living from her beauty and her figure. It was good of her to share her decision and thought process... and to discuss the kind of support she has to make that tough decision.

This is good for society, to educate women about their options. Rich or poor, you probably have more options than you think. It's good to start the discussion.

Then I was scrolling through my facebook feed and saw a status like this...

"Just in case I couldn't admire her more... Angelina Jolie has a preventative double masectomy.. ♥"

my response:
"I can't admire anyone who cheats and steals husbands."

Admire her? Sure, she adopts children from third world countries... she does volunteer work in those countries, and donates money to great causes, but I have just never gotten passed the fact that she stole someone's husband on a movie set. 

Yeah, she worked closely with Jennifer Anniston's husband, Brad Pitt, on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith - but she knew he was married. She should have kept her hands off. 
I'm not releasing Brad of blame... I'm just saying, it takes two, and when you know he's off the market, you have a responsibility to walk away. 

I'd rather be known for walking off the movie set to avoid temptation, than be known for ignoring the sanctity of anyone's marriage. 

I was thinking about it after I left that comment - I tend to get a little worked up when I share something challenging, afraid I'm starting World War III or something. This is when I think of rebuttals to anyone who might jump down my throat for an opposing viewpoint.

The more I thought about it... I thought, tearing someone's marriage asunder is not much different than making that woman a widow. I mean, there she was, thinking she had a future with the man she loved, and boom, suddenly she has to face life without him! 

As a woman who has been praying for my husband for many, many years, I have a pretty good idea how I would feel if I found him - and then had him ripped away from me! I think dealing with death would be easier because at least it would be God's will. But if someone stole him?!  That's unforgivable.

Then I thought some more.
As a woman who has been single her entire life... do you have any idea how many husbands I could have stolen? 

The only men who have ever been really interested in me, have been married. I could have broken up someone's marriage and lived happily ever after if I'd wanted to. If I were that kind of person.

Someone once asked me how I've reacted to all those married men. Did I flirt with them? chase them? engage their interest?
Nope. Dude. You're married? Get out of here. Shoo.
Yes, you're good looking, yes you're rich... you may even be everything I'm looking for in a man --- except single!  No, I'm not going to entertain the thought. Heck, I'm going to give you a lecture on fidelity! I'm going to remind you of your vows.

Just a few months ago, I told a married flirty what his kids would think of him if he cheated, if he left their mom.  That someone like me wasn't going to date a married man. That if he did leave his wife... ain't no good woman anywhere that would get involved with him, knowing he left his spouse and more than a handful of kids.
He looked insulted. I said, "Yeah, you're a great looking guy, with a great job. Women would be interested. But only a crazy-@$$-B!tch would get involved in that mess. Then one day you'll look around and wonder why you left your wonderful wife and have to deal with crazy-@$$-B!tches all the time!!"
With that, he had to agree.

Yes, I actually want some credit for NOT stealing husbands! Apparently it's acceptable behavior and I'm just a fool for acting honorably.

I dunno, I don't even see what's so attractive about Angelina Jolie. Never did. Yeah, she's pretty, beautiful even. But I don't get what all the fuss is about. I think one's actions speak much louder than one's beauty. She's not beautiful to me.