Wednesday, November 26, 2008

A Giver

That jazzy little tune lit up my cell phone again. It was Mr. Burns calling from an airport in middle America on his way home for Thanksgiving.

He just called to tell me that he was reading Luke Chapter 6, in which as Mr. Burns puts it, giving of oneself to others is discussed. (I just read it and I don't see the exact same thing he did... but I guess that doesn't matter) what matters is the message he received by reading it this time through.

He had to tell me that it made him realize that I really gave myself in our relationship. That I just gave and gave and gave. And that, in that realization, he realized too that he didn't give. That he held back, that he didn't even think about giving.

"So I just wanted to thank you for showing me that. You showed me what it's like when someone gives you everything. And I am ashamed now, that I didn't see it at the time, and mostly for not knowing how to give back."

I almost cried. It means a lot to have someone realize just how much you love them. And hurts a little to know they didn't know what to do with it.

And I hated to say it, but he's right. It occurred to me a few days earlier that I gave everything in that relationship and that he didn't make much effort.
I'm not saying that to puff myself up. Just that I realized it. And if that is going on in your relationship, recognize it and fix it.

He continued, "It hurts me to tell you that I failed. But it's the truth."

I guess that's one more thing to be grateful for this Thanksgiving.


auntie said...

Bittersweet, huh?

t3h_5quirr3l said...

oh. i almost cried too. best of luck.

Bobbi said...

Wow. At least he's able to recognize that. It takes a big man to do that.

I hope everything works out for you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad Mr. Burns has realized that he took and took and never gave in return. Mr. Burns continues to jerk you around by making these phonecalls. He continues to reopen wounds. Maybe it's time to totally sever the relationship. It is most difficult if not impossible to carry on a friendship when the relationship had been so much more.

Anonymous said...

Wow, at least he saw it.

In my case, I had to point out that I was always giving and he kinda threw it back in my face unwilling to ever admit he's done me wrong. What he will admit, he does not say Sorry for.

It's like he has 2 perosnalities, one is a godly wonderful man, wanting more of God, into the Word, worship, prayer. The other is a cool-hearted sometimes venomous, callous, or indifferent, easily jealous man.

I did some research and summed up my ex as having various issues which make him emotionally abusive in insiduous ways. I told him this once and of course he got mad and didn't talk to me for a while. And so the saga 'continued to continue.'