Thursday, March 25, 2010


Recently, I've a discovered a sparkly, clever blogger named T!nk. You may have noticed some of his thoughts in the comments of my posts.
I, of course was intrigued and went to check out his blog where he reminded me of some words of wisdom. Wisdom that I had forgotten.
"Always listen to your gay."

It's a variation on my own form of wisdom which is... "Every woman needs a good gay man in her life."

It's so true. Recently a friend of mine moved into a new apartment building and made friends with an outrageously funny gay man. He joined us for a party and I found myself all jealous that she had a gay guy and I didn't. Wah.


T!nk's words reminded me that I had fallen out of touch with my dearest gay friend. I called him immediately and left a message citing T!nk's advice and telling him how much I missed him.

Now we're talking each week again - and today I got to tell him about Jerry/Hugh. I forgot how great it is to talk about guys with a gay man.

Me: "He has black sort of curly hair... and he wears it a little long."
GGF (Gay Guy Friend) : "Long curly hair? Ooh... does it look good?"
Me: "It's not really long. Just a couple inches long rather than cropped close to the head. It looks good on him - and nice to run my fingers through."
GGF: "Oh yeah, that's nice."
Me: "He's really tall, and really thin... with that black hair and blue eyes."
GGF: "OMG! How cute!"

I had to laugh... because I wouldn't even go into that much detail with my girlfriends.
I knew I truly missed my gay friend when he was talking about a client that bugs him, because the client doesn't like it when GGF uses exclamation points in his email correspondence.

GGF: "Are you kidding? For me it's not a question of whether to use an exclamation point, but how many!!!"

So true. Obviously I suffer from the same affliction.
We also discussed my coming to visit, because GGF and his partner always let me stay at their house and they are the world's best hosts.

GGF: "That's GGFP's area. He loves to play host."
Me: "That's right. He's like the Host with the Most on Steroids. 'Do you need another pillow? Can I cut you some cantaloupe in the shape of stars? Do you need a towel?"
GGF: "Do you need a towel to stand on?"

Oh my. How have I gotten along without him?

If any of my regular bloggy friends wonder how I align my faith beliefs with accepting my gay friends -- it's like this; I believe very strongly that God did not put me here to judge others. If what they are doing is wrong - God will handle that. The Lord put me here to love my neighbor - and to show love to my friends. So that is what I do. Post edit - I find it much easier to love my gay friends... than to love people who are mean to me. I need to work on that - the call to love everyone is truly a challenge!

Oh and T!nk... My GGF was also in the military, prior to DADT. Thought you'd like to know that!


Anonymous said...

I totally have a gay bestie and concur 100% with your words of wisdom on not judging others! It has been such a blessing to have him in my life so that I can unload all my crazy! Isn't it great to know there is a God who will sort all this out? I figure all that I am supposed to do is love everyone for the children of God that they are and try to see them as He sees them.

Stacey said...

(Love Shari's comment!)

My GGF has been one of my most loyal friends since junior high school! He's truly one of the kindest people I know.

Andi said...

Amen to your disclaimer, TRS! Enjoying reading your latest blogs as you're dating again and what the dating world is like for us, um, slightly more "mature" women.

Stace, I have no idea who you are talking about!

Genevra said...

I loved this post. And I am just very jealous that you all have GGF.

I also love what you said about not being put on this earth to judge others. It kills me when people get all upset and vilify a person about their life behind closed bedroom doors, because that is so much more important than if they are a good person and treat others well.

I'm off to check out T!nk's blog now.

Anonymous said...

WHOA! Where have I BEEN?! I'm such a bad blogging buddy, but I am making up for it and catching up!! This post really made me smile and brought tears to my eyes (the last part). I'm glad I inspired you to reconnect with your GGF!

I LOVE what you said about God not putting you on this earth to judge others, but to love others. I wish more ppl got that, and I think it's AWESOME that you do!!

Much More Than Mommy said...

I love what you said, I feel the same way about letting God sort it out. Glad I came over and read!

Anonymous said...

I love your posts, but God has already sorted it and and He's clear. We are to call sin sin and must love our neighbor. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

TRS said...

Hey Anonymous ... if your convictions are so strong ... why aren't you brave enough to sign your name?

Liza said...

Love this! Love the gay men! My cousin is gay. Poo on Anonymous. Clearly isn't so aligned with his/her beliefs that he/she can stand up for them! And he/she is saying that part of his/her job here is to judge people. Interesting.

Wanna know a little of my beliefs? God is all powerful and all forgiving. Period. Plus, I know plenty of gay people who have more integrity, more kindness and more love than a lot of so-called Christians. So there!

Liz said...

Totally agree on the not judging front - my first GGF used to say "I never thought someone like you [a good Christian girl] would be friends with someone like me."

I seem to find GGFs wherever I am and now have them scattered across 4 continents, but I love them all dearly. Every girl should have at least one.

TRS said...

Thanks Liz.

That reminds me of a similar story... when a guy I worked with revealed that he was indeed gay and I indicated that that was what I thought...
he looked at me oddly and said, "I didn't think you would be okay with that."


"I figured you were too Christian to be okay with it."

My response was the first thing that popped into my head, "Well, that wouldn't be very Christian would it?"

Anonymous said...

Homosexuality is wrong, is a deviation, homosexual relationships are more unstable than heterosexual ones, so be careful.

Anonymous said...

TRS I'm gonna let you respond to this one.

TRS said...

I'm not even going to acknowledge that drivel.

I considered not approving his comment for publication - but then figured it's good for the rest of us to know who Pablo really is and what Pablo believes since he's not brave enough to link back to himself so we can find out in a spirit of sharing.

But I will say... the couple I'm referring to has been together longer than any of my married/hetero friends so pllllbbbbbtttt!

Anonymous said...

I admire you SO much!!

P.S. WHYYY?!?!? Are your posts not showing up in my reader anymore?!

LoL. If you want to take this convo elsewhere just email me at, it's T!nK by the way.