Wednesday, March 03, 2010


My friends that are closest to me... actually live the furthest away.
I miss out on a lot.

I dream about being my friend's next door neighbor. Or at least being in the same city so that we could meet for coffee (ahem... Chai Latte) and catch up. Instead, we have one hour or three hour phone conversations.

Long distance friendships work differently. But the same in their own sweet way.

I call Kaha when I'm doing dishes and cleaning the house. We talk while I make my bed and put away laundry. When Kikr calls, I can't do anything but sit and talk. I've never figured out why.

When Kaha was shopping for her wedding gown, she called me as she emailed photos of herself in the top two contenders. The first one wasn't quite right, and I wondered how to tell her. Then I opened the second jpg and smiled... "Oh my! That's the one... you're a bride!! It's perfect!"

Kaha then Kikr
A year later, Kikr did the same thing... she was settled on one dress and sent me a photo. I'll never forget opening the jpg and being overwhelmed with tears and emotion. "You're beautiful! That's the dress you're getting married in!!"

Sometimes I feel that my friendships suffer because of the distance.
Then there are days that I know we are just as close - states away - as we would be if we were on the same block.

Kikr and I wear the same size - and when either of us need to update our closets, the other gets a box of clothes in the mail! Recently we realized that we're even gaining weight and changing sizes at the same rate. Now that's a true friend!

Last night, Kikr called to chat. I told her about meeting one of my online dating prospects.
She told me about the meatloaf she was making. Her hubby was at bible study, so she had all evening to talk. We discussed again, my fear of never finding the right guy and my approaching 40th birthday, the impending end of my reproductive cycle.

She understands, because she's the same age and even though she and her hubby have been married for two years, regular practice is proving futile.

Apparently she was waiting for an opening... "Okay. I'm going to do this now. I have to go pee on a stick. I'll be right back."
She was back and our conversation resumed, as if there were no interruption. "Don't you love how I have a supply of these sticks under the sink? Every month, pee on a stick."

I felt her frustration. Understood completely.

We were dissecting the intrinsic value of the guy I met for lunch when she said, her voice belying her disbelief... "The stick says, 'pregnant'."

Suddenly I was bouncing around my living room, squealing! As I crossed before the mirror on the dining room wall, I was surprised by my bright red face.

"Oh honey, you finally found a stick that works!"

Every week we share the mundane, day-to-day stuff in our conversations.
This time, I was honored to be the person she leaned on for support - and to learn with her that her life is about to change!
I'm usually not the first to know anything, so to be right there with her was amazing for me.

Totally made up for my other friend, who when we actually lived in the same city went shopping for her wedding dress without me - I didn't even see it until her wedding day. As the Supreme Shopping Goddess in all my relationships, that one really hurt!

I'm convinced, the closeness that maintains friendships has nothing to do with proximity!


kacyd said...

Yay for Kikr and yay for long distance friendships. They are different, as are all friendships, and so, so special!

Genevra said...

First of all. Congratulations to your friend on her pregnancy. What a wonderful moment for the two of you to share and bond over. That is pretty special. :)

Stacey said...

That's so sweet! How fun to be the first to know! :)

I totally agree -- proximity has little to do with that true bond of friendship and those who will always be there for you. Living close to those special friends is great, but not necessary!