Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Get Noticed

It's a strange transition from being devoted to one guy for almost three years - to being totally single and looking again.

When we broke up in the interim, in the winter of 2008 - I forced myself to move on, but I didn't feel pretty. I didn't feel good enough. But darn if I wasn't putting myself out there.

Fact is, throughout my single life I have been utterly clueless about men finding me attractive or flirting with me.

I recall, when I was a reporter I was sent out to some bar to cover the debut of the XFL (Extreme Football League) The game started at 8:00pm, the location was a 40 minute drive from the TV station - and we had to have the story written and edited for the 10:00 news.
Short turnaround.

So the photographer and I had a plan: He'd shoot cover video, we'd get some random soundbites and haul our butts back downtown to the TV station.
So when some guy with a couple cans of courage in him, came up to tell me that if I interviewed him, I'd have great material to get a job with CNN - and continue to insist upon it - I was just annoyed. What a pain-in-the-arse! Can't he see I'm working?!

On our way back downtown, I vented to my photographer.
"TRS, he was flirting with you."

HE WAS?!!!

Then my photographer friend pointed out that he noticed men were flirting with me all the time - and he was amused that I never saw it!

Never did.
I guess I just never feel that desirable.
I always felt that I'm constantly putting myself out there - and never get any feedback. Always picking out guys that I'm attracted to - but sensing that they don't know that I'm there. At all.

So it's interesting that these days, I'm noticing men noticing me.

Yesterday, I ran a quick errand at the mall. Despite my better judgment I decided that I deserved a Chai Latte from TakeURBucks.
I ordered and paid, then went to stand at the end of the counter to wait for my finished drink.

There was a guy my age waiting there too, talking on his cell phone. I assessed, he was kind of cute but not fantastic. Nice eyes. The kind of guy who looks like an unmistakeably nice guy.
His drink came up and I overheard him end his phone call. "Listen, I gotta go. Call you back in a few."

He rummaged around looking for a straw for his drink... it was a yellow-green, frothy concoction. He turned to me and said, "It looks like something I would have refused to try when I was a kid."

True. We talked about it's mango, banana goodness... the finicky nature of children... and I realized - he ended his phone call just to strike up a conversation with me!

It didn't go anywhere - but gee - it's nice to be noticed.

I'm definitely noticing that men are looking at me differently these days.
Could it be that they can see that I know now that I deserve love, that I'm ready to find love and I'm open to meeting someone special.

Or is it just that my hair is passed my shoulders?!


Rachel said...

Lol. It's good to notice that you're being noticed. And so totally worth it! I think that's awesome that 'unknown nice eyes' got off the phone to talk to you.

Genevra said...

Way to go TRS!! That is awesome and makes me smile. I think that women and men, underestimate far too much how attractive self love and self confidence are in the opposite sex. When you feel good about yourself, and are happy as you are (which is not to say there aren't things you want to improve or better about yourself), people notice that and are drawn to it.

I heard it said once that we are basically just magnets and whatever we are feeling inside, is what we are attracting to ourselves outside.

Anonymous said...

HAHA! It's funny Isn't it... how we don't even notice who's looking when we aren't. It's definitely important to feel like you are desireable, which you def are. Everyone has SOMETHING to bring to the table! Look at you go!!