Just a strain of the old Huey Lewis & the News song was in a TV commercial yesterday - and I picked out the riff of the song.
Let's set aside the fact that songs from my teenage years are selling insurance and erectile dysfunction meds now --- cause that's not depressing.
Do You Believe in Love ~ Huey Lewis & the News
and let's further ignore that this has to be the creepiest music video - with the world's worst set design ever.
The song that was so catchy when I was crushing on boys in high school - today becomes a question. Do I believe in love?
I think I don't.
Of course I believe in the "Oh my dear sweet baby, I'd do anything to protect you my child." sort of love.
But the romantic, "Let's get married, I don't want to live without you." love - not so much.
Meeting someone and having them fall head over heels - never gonna happen.
At this point, I think love is a choice. You meet someone - you click. You agree on essentials like faith, family, the difference between right and wrong - and you think, "I could live with this person." If you both agree - that's what you do. Then love grows because you share your lives together.
That's exactly what I felt when I first met Mr. Burns. Finally, here is someone like me. Someone with the same values, same family upbringing, someone who 'got' my sense of humor (because that is a big get!) For the first time, I thought - "This could actually work." rather than - "Yeah, well - keep it movin' sonny."
Now that we broke up for the second time, I have trouble understanding why so many people can do this and I can't. I mean, there are complete morons out there - people with corrupt notions of what is right and wrong - people who really shouldn't have children - and they get married and make it work and are reasonably if not ecstatically happy.
Why can't I?
What is so intrinsically unlovable about me? What makes me so imperfect that I should be sentenced to a life alone?
Of course I know that is not the case.
I know that I am lovable. I know that I am a wonderful person, who frankly, any man should be thrilled to even imagine having by his side for the rest of his life.
But, this mortal world just isn't going to provide that.
In this mortal world, I think men don't even want to be married. I don't think they seek it.
I look at the people around me - couples everywhere - and I think they are either pretending.... or they just decided that life together is better than life apart and they did it.
How on this green earth do you get a man to just decide to do it? Mr. Burns couldn't. I always did think he was waiting for some bolt of lightning to signify that this was the 'right' one. And I don't think that's how it works. I think you gotta just go for it and then put your faith in God to make it work.
I can't figure it out. All I know is that I opened my heart and my life to this man and - nothing.
I don't think this love thing everyone is talking about is real.
Wanna tell me what you think? I'd love to know.