Seconds

Once upon a time I met a guy. Friends introduced us at a party at their home. He got my number and said he'd call. And despite the fact that my jaded, bitter self had long since accepted that any guy who says he's going to call - isn't - I was confident that he would.

In fact, he called me the very next evening. I was impressed. When I met my girlfriends for dinner the following evening I announced, "I met him."
I was sure that I had met my husband. It's all over but the white dress.

Two years later, I'm two years older and back in the dating pool.
Up until now I figured I would find a man who, like me, had never married and never had kids. Back in my 20s I declared that I didn't want to be any man's second anything.

It only seemed fair that if I had waited for the right man - that he also waited for me.

But it's time to be realistic. I'm 38 for a few more months. How many guys in my age range - even Catholic ones - have never been married? Or had kids - on either side of marriage?!!!

While I take pride in the fact that I didn't marry any of the wrong men, I am now in a position to consider men of divorce on a case by case basis. If I find a guy who is divorced, for valid reasons - who hasn't abandoned his children, who is just a clear cut good man - well, that's a not a bad package.

Honestly, at various points in my life I had the harsh realization that I would be ahead of the game or at least caught up if I had at least had a failed marriage.
Being single this long - people think there is something wrong with me - if I were divorced at least I'd be 'normal'.