I'm Outta Control

Stopping at T*rget tonight to pick up face wash, spray starch and some baby shower gifts... I did the unthinkable.

I bought a swimsuit.
At full price no less!

Grrr.

I was just about to leave. In fact, I was on my way to the checkout when I saw the suits. They sucked me in with a darling, modest swim skirt. Not the frumpy, "My mom had that swim skirt in the 70s." swim skirt. This one was just barely a skirt. Modest yet a little s*xy.

I thought, "How practical. I'm getting old you know, almost 40. My derriere isn't as firm as it used to be, that bottom would cover plenty of imperfections. "

(it's adjustable - it can be just a bit longer than shown in this photo - which is so obviously not me!)

But, black or brown? Black would go with almost any top I would find. But I really like the brown. Hmm. Might as well try it on. Might as well grab a top.

Oh gee. Look at the tankini tops. That would hide the tummy that I'm too lazy to tone. But I can't possibly buy them both right now. You know they'll be marked down to $7 in a month or two. But this is T*rget. If you don't get your size now - it's not going to be here in April.

My friends. I don't even swim. I haven't been to the beach, or to a pool or even a hot tub in years. I do not need a swim suit. Other than the fact that all my other barely ever worn - and certainly not for more than sunbathing suits - are bikinis and I don't like my body enough right now to even think about wearing them.

Besides, I'm on C*tholic M*tch now and by summer I'll be dating some great guy who wants to take me up to the mountains to sit in the hot springs. Right?

Yeah. So I bought a swimsuit.

Brown, by the way.

Idiot.