Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Like No Other

It came like an epiphany. Though, once I had time to mull it over, it's something I've known all along - or at least suspected.

A co-worker, hearing the latest of my adventures in dating, said, "Your dating life is like no one else I know."
What do you mean? 
You always date these good guys - you don't do anything wrong - but it always ends in such a strange way.  
You mean how they tell me how great I am, that I meet all their criteria, but, "No thanks"?  
Yes. Exactly. 
That doesn't happen to other people you know? 
No one. 
So you're saying, other people just meet someone they match with and it works out? 
Or it obviously doesn't.
She nods.

Yep. That's the story of my life alright!

I'm not dating guys who are all wrong for me. No one abusive, or out of my league or whatever.

I'm not going pshyco-b!tch on them.

Everything is great until they say, "No thanks."  Not in those words, but ultimately, that's it.

Even better, they tell me how I'm everything they're looking for - but they're willing to pass it up.

So strange.

It makes me think that God really wants me to be alone for some reason that He won't reveal to me. No matter how much I ask. No matter how much I beg through prayer to be relieved of the desire for a husband.

This is the first thing I'll ask God when I see Him face-to-face. Why? For what purpose?

For anyone questioning my motives - why don't I just quit dating? I have. I don't pursue. But when I agree with God that clearly, He wants me to be alone... whether it's for now, or forever... I can only be obedient if I acknowledge that I'll accept the man he brings me - either the one I trip over or the one who trips over me (Why do I have a feeling it's going to be messy?)
As I did in my youth, I will go out with whomever asks me. If someone wants to date me, I feel I am obedient to God to go spend time with him.
As another friend recently pointed out, I'm rarely lacking for dates. Just husbands.
I guess I'm attractive enough, friendly enough, charming enough to attract men. And apparently to stun them into retreat! 


Genevra said...

I have nothing brilliant to say or of comfort for the most part. Mainly because it does seem like such a paradox. But I will say it is a very interesting insight and I wonder what more will come of it. Thinking of you!

TRS said...

Thanks G!
You're so sweet.
FYI, you're always welcome in Denver!