I can act as an expert on parenting and marriage because I'm not a parent or a spouse. Smirk.
A lot of times I feel like there are many couples making glaring mistakes in parenting. Maybe the mistakes aren't glaring to them because they're center isn't the same as mine. I think having the right center makes things much more obvious.
I was watching the new season of The Middle tonight. Next to Modern Family, I find The Middle one of the more entertaining family comedies out there right now.
In tonight's episode, the question of hierarchy comes up in the family. Mom tries to point out that the kids are not in charge ... mom's in charge! She goes so far as to draw a family hierarchy... Mom, kid, kid, kid. In birth order - which of course inspires more arguments, until the question, "What about dad?"
Fine. She writes "Dad" next to "Mom".
At this point I think, "That's right sister!"
Then the kids argue that Dad is above Mom. Mom protests.
Personally, I start thinking... "Yeah, the man should be the head of the household. Why is this mom so opposed to this?"
The program continues to display the drama of who is in charge. Then it dawns on me. The Hecks have the hierarchy all wrong. Of course the wife is going to be uncomfortable if her husband is 'above' her. she was right the first time - with Dad on the same level as Mom. But she forgot to write God, above both of them.
I think it would be easy to love a man, trust a man, and honor a man who put God before not just me, but before himself. I have long stressed that I believe that is the way it should be... and I know there are those that have trouble with the concept.
Actually it came up on a friends FB wall once when someone posted that their kids are FIRST in their lives!! Rah Rah! I pointed out that I thought the God, Spouse, Kids hierarchy was better suited to family harmony. Someone asked how that works... how could you put your man before your kids?! What if the man is abusive? Well, an abusive man is not a man who has God first, now is he? A man who puts God before all else will be a good man by default. Oh, she hadn't thought of that.
Really? (Well, I guess that's why she's married and I'm not. Clearly I'm too picky looking for a man who puts God first. )
Then there is the knowledge that a man of God is wise enough to lead side-by-side. I read once that the husband in the Dugger family says that the decisions he's made that were worst for his family, were the once he made without first consulting his wife.
Well, the Hecks didn't have that epiphany tonight. Instead, they realized (once dad took on some of mom's duties and failed - it's a comedy after all.) that in a family, sometimes everyone pitches in and leads in their own way. Sometimes a sister helps in a way a parent can't. Sometimes kids help parents. (all true)
I guess they couldn't land on the God theory in a program produced for a mass audience and with big corporate sponsors. Look to reruns of 7th Heaven for that!