I've been single for a long time. Since, you know, birth for starters.
Over the years, I've considered myself pretty open-minded about who I would date. I've chastised other women for rejecting men who didn't meet their height requirements... or hair-to-scalp ratio. Bald? I don't care... bald can be HOT! (seriously girls, date ONE bald guy, you'll see. Or maybe I just dated a really hot bald guy to start with. hmmm. that's still a nice memory!) Tall, short... who cares? I've dated men shorter than I. Heck, I figure if God made a complete man before he reached 5'10"... he's probably a mighty good man!
In the past, I even boasted that I'd go out with anyone who asked me out. (that comment even bit me in the butt once. That's another story... maybe I'll share some day.)
But today, it seems that the only dating that occurs, begins online. When I meet men in real life... it doesn't seem to occur to them to ask me out. (in fact, one real life man in whom I was briefly interested, told me that he's not looking to meet anyone at all the events we end up at together. Hmmm? Who wants to be alone? Does not compute.)
Back to the online thing. So, I'm dutifully perusing my online sources... meeting a few men.
Mr. Potential still has his hat in the ring, but no grand efforts just yet. Many very sweet, kind gestures but he's not pursuing hard, we are casually getting to know one another, which I enjoy.
So here's the thing. As I'm shopping for men online... and meeting them in person... the common theme seems to be that they're either divorced or divorcing (and I won't date anyone who says they're 'separated' - hi, how dumb do you think I am?!) or they're shorter than 5'10".
Now remember... I don't care about height. (I thought)
One friend, who had a big hang up about dating someone who wasn't taller than she... and ended up marrying he who is her exact height... said about more than one prospect of mine, "Maybe that's the only reason he's single... because he's short."
I'm still not sure what I think about that statement.
It suggests that too many women couldn't see a good man because they were blinded by his lack of stature. But then again, it suggests that height was a sufficient reason to discard a good man. It suggest yet another statement that I can't seem to put into words...
But what is bugging me... is that despite the fact that I don't care about height... I'm learning that when I meet the men who I know are 'short'... and I encounter them in real-life... there is a moment of disappointment. (What?)
Actually, think it has less to do with their height than with the fact that they're small all the way around.
Listen. I'm only 5'5" (depending on who measures... I've been accused of being shorter!) and I have a rather slight frame. But sometimes these men make me feel like I'm bigger than them. I don't understand it.
Mr. Potential, for example, is very fit and lean - but when I put my arms around him, I feel like I'm holding onto less than what he is holding onto! It feels odd.
So now, thanks in part to what my friend said... I'm starting to feel like these small guys are (ooh... I don't want to say it... ) leftovers.
Ack. I don't like that! But there it is.
I don't really feel that way... but when I see a profile that describes a man that doesn't quite appeal to me... and then check his height status... it seems to confirm the theory.
Oh well. These are just thoughts. Not hard and fast facts or even well-thought-out opinions...
It's just that I want to wrap my arms around someone substantial. Someone who feels like a man, strong, protective...
In fact, I've dated shorter men who did present that physical security... so I don't understand what has changed. Maybe our age impacts the meaty factor?
Okay folks... don't jump down my throat here. You know I don't normally target like this. Any thoughts?