When I moved to this city, I left some close friends behind back home. Initially, I thought I would only be here for six months. It'll be nine years this summer. When I knew I was staying, I mentioned to some of those friends how nice it would be if they came to visit.
One of my guy friends has been out here three times now. He is a traveler, so it's natural for him.
Another girl friend came out for a weekend visit once... and another caught up with me when her parents brought her out here for a Rockies game.
But my best friend has never come. I was her maid of honor. I am Godmother to her oldest child.
About eight years ago, she told me she would come out for my wedding.
Well guess what? There hasn't been a wedding. There is no wedding on the horizon.
I moved here in my early 30s, so everyone thought Mr.Right was just about to show up. It was reasonable that a friend would assume that a wedding would be just a year or two away.
Then in 2007, I started dating Mr. Burns and a lot of people thought a wedding was eminent.
As you know, that was a no-go.
Eight years later, isn't it time to get in the car and say hi?
Yeah, I admit I'm hurt by it... and if you don't understand why, let me put it this way... I'm not important enough to visit just me. I'm not worth visiting unless I can prove that someone else, someone whom she has never met, loves me and wants to spend his life with me.
Is that how you want your friends to feel?
So if I never have a wedding - she'll never visit?
Part of this world tells me that I shouldn't feel pressured to be married. But then some of the people closest to me can only justify a car trip if there's a big event to go along with seeing me.
(Let's face it, we've all been to friend's weddings... you don't even get to visit with the bride or groom... they're way too busy!)
Is anyone else out there sending a message like this to someone they love? Did you even realize the message you're sending?
FYI: It's an eight hour car trip or a 2 hour flight. I drive a couple hours out of my way to visit her when I'm out that way to visit my parents.