Saturday, July 22, 2006

Yep - Lost Another One

It seems that society has picked up a damning trend from television dramas and sitcoms. It's the Third Date Rule. A completely preposterous rule which suggests that a couple ought to be having sex by the third date. In real life it factors out to the third or FOURTH - but it's still ridiculous!

You see, in a television drama, or situation comedy, or even a movie... it's not that interesting to watch a romance unfold, for say - months. And typically they have to break up anyway to keep the show interesting. So, rather than make the audience invest in a guest starring character... they just propell the romance and make the characters sleep together early on so that they can break up over something stupid like... He snores. Or what the hell was that with his toes!? Funny funny stuff.

I believe in some warped way, people saw this unfold on TV over the past decade or so, and somehow figured (because there are really stupid people out there) that must be how it is in real life. As a result, there are plenty of hoochie mammas out there - having sex with guys they barely know - on a third date!

This is rationalized with some idea that it's better to figure out if the sex is good before you invest in an actual relationship.

These bozos are poisoning the dating pool!!! Ack! Ack Ack!
Now, here I am... a nice girl... competing with women who are poisoning the dating pool. Yep, some guys expect the mother load before even investing any time to get to sorta know me.

Exhibit 938. The last guy I dated. I liked him. A real nice guy, who on our first date told me how he loves weddings and that when his family asks him when is he ever going to get married... his answer is; "I'm working on it." Cute answer I think. But he's not really working on it. Because if he were working on it, he would invest some time with a girl like me but instead....

Well, we had some lovely dates. As I said, I liked him but I wasn't feeling the Zsa Zsa Zu as they say. But I'm thinking he's a great guy and I ought to see what's there. We had some nice dates, then one really great date. I introduced him to my favorite pizza place, which he loved, and then we played pool for the rest of the evening. I really enjoyed that because it revealed a lot about our personalities through sportsmanship. Is he competitive? Can he stand losing to a girl? He can see how competitive I am... all that good stuff. Very revealing. So seeing a new side to him, I begin to like him a little more. We went home and smooched for a bit... then we smooched a little on his bed. Okay... my mistake but when I stopped him from trying to go further....

Never heard from him again! I left him a voicemail, he replied with a voicemail... then I ended up VMing him again... and that was it. Poof - fell off the stinking Earth! (see another man falls off the planet - below)

Whatever. But let's consider this. Life is not a television drama. What can you really know about someone after three dates to justify sharing your body and the most intimate act that God gave us to share? I can't think of anything.

As one friend pointed out... you don't even know each other's middle name. (Frankly, I still couldn't pronounce his LAST name!)
More to the point, I'm thinking - by date 3 or 4 - you've not even bothered to spend a Saturday afternoon with me. You don't know that strands of my hair shine like gold in the afternoon sun. Do you know what color my eyes are? Do you even know that my laugh becomes a snort if you're REALLY funny?

More MORE to the point... Do you know whether I use birth control or not? Whether or not I have a STD? Whether my insurance plan even covers pregnancy and delivery? Give me a freaking break!

Now, it's not like I'm a prude, or I don't like sex or something crazy like that. It's just that I respect sex. It's important. No matter how many people say it's no big deal.

But, my favorite example is the guy I dated over a year ago... not very good looking but he seemed to think I was fabulous so ... based on his brilliance ... I had to give him a shot. We had fun dates and he was a great kisser.
After four dates he went in for the kill. When I had to brush him off, he was shocked. SHOCKED!
His argument? "Sex on the fourth date is pretty standard." Oh. Well, I've changed my mind then. Moron. Actually my first thought was... "What kind of women are sleeping with you? You're not even hot!" I know, that's mean. But I didn't actually say it!

But it is true that some/many women will give it a shot with a really hot guy - Smoking hot guy - just for the experience. I'm not one of them, but I can understand the appeal. But Dude. This guy wasn't even close to hot... and I want to know who the hell is putting out for him!?!?!?

I wish I could say I never saw him again... but I have run into him and social circles and always feel like I have to go home and boil myself to get the creepy off.

Standards ladies. Can we please enforce some freaking standards?

1 comment:

MTOGuy said...

The old farm's rule still applies. Why buy the cow when the milk is free.