Sunday, March 19, 2006

Cheap Seats

I’m cheap.
That’s not to say that I don’t spend wads of money in a sometimes, frivolous fashion. It’s just that when I do spend wads of money, it’s on frivolous fashion! Ha.

Things that I don’t spend money on: overpriced cups of coffee, CDs (music OR investment), manicures, and concerts.

When it comes to concerts, I figure I’d rather spend $40 to $170 dollars on the artists’ CDs so I can listen to them whenever I like, as opposed to dropping money, going to the concert and having nothing to show for it but sore toes because people seem to love to step on my feet. However I don’t actually buy CDs either.

But this week, my friend JK told me he had tickets to the Freddy Jones Band and the BoDeans, playing on St. Patrick’s day night. I have not heard about the Freddy Jones Band, so JK filled me in that they’re awesome and apparently haven’t been on the road in quite some time but he wasn’t going to miss it. JK also knows I love the BoDeans. I mean I LOVE THE BODEANS!!!
I’ve been listening to them since I was 16 and that was a long time ago. Long before they wrote the theme song to Party of Five. Way before that!

But I’m cheap. And I didn’t know if these tickets were comp tickets, or if he and his friend paid for them or won them in a contest. No idea. But I pointed out that I loved the BoDeans and that JK saw them last summer, and I didn’t get to go then either. And, by the way is there a free ticket involved? JK acted all mysterious.

We had lunch the next day, and midway through I told him that I was fully expecting him to reveal to me a ticket to the concert. He acted mysterious again. But I know that if there were no hope of a ticket, he would have said so. So I had my hopes up.

Yes, I could have gone online and bought a dang ticket myself. But remember. I’m cheap.

Then, the next next day, JK calls demanding to know the level, and height and breadth of my love and admiration for him. I was pretty sure there was a ticket for me involved in this exchange. I complied. He's a great guy and a great friend... and not just because he makes BoDeans tickets materialize.

So we go to the concert and JK gets his fix of the Freddy Jones Band from a mere 20 feet away from the stage! It was great. There was a half hour wait between sets, and we were lucky to observe a woman get her panties in a twist because some guy (somebody’s husband apparently) got too close to her. Well, we’re all pressed up against the stage trying to save our spots between sets, so yeah, you’re going to get bumped around.

There’s a lovely thread of tension for the entire half hour reset.

Then, the BoDeans take the stage. Mind you, I have about half of the CDs (okay most of them are cassette tapes) that make up their repertoire. And they start with a song from the first album. Sammy’s voice is freakin’ awesome and I am swept away in a great reverie sparked by this incredible performance.

Meanwhile, bitchy woman in front of us is using up the space that three people would consider themselves fortunate to share. I’m not saying she’s taking up the space, she is a big woman but that’s not the point. She’s hogging the space. More to the point, there’s a whole lot of space in front of her that she’s not using, just making sure nobody else can benefit from it. And in doing so, she keeps moving backward toward JK and me. In fact, she’s so close to JK that it looks like they are ‘together’ and about to get their grind on.

During the next few songs, the crowd shifts a bit, and she had migrated in front of me. Now, she’s a big woman, and she has a head of nasty looking hair and she’s so in MY space that I keep feeling her hair in my arms. Ick. So since I’m clutching my water bottle anyway, I decide to position said bottle horizontally, to create a barrier between Ick girl and myself. I figure when she runs into my bottle she’ll know that she’s invading my space and hopefully that will make an impact.

So she backs into my bottle and turns to look at me and I give a smile and say, “Oh, sorry.” She smiles and seems to accept my apology.
She continues to back into me, and after a while gets pissed that I have constructed a barrier to her free flow. During one of my FAVORITE songs she turns fully around to glare at me. I ignore her and concentrate my focus on this great band on stage. This displeases her even more and she starts telling me to stop touching her.
I look at her and explain that I’m just trying to preserve some of my personal space and she’s backing into my bottle. It’s not me that’s touching her. She doesn’t like that either, but I can’t understand what she’s saying. I told her, “I’m not going to argue with you. Just turn around and keep to yourself.” She rants, raises her voice a little. Well, I’m not the type to back down… especially when I’m right… so my voice raises too.

That’s when she forcefully grabs my water bottle and tears it out of my hands (like that’s really going to upset me) and JK intervenes by physically moving me to his other side and away from the bitch.

At this point, I’m embarrassed because I lost a little of my cool. She lost more, because she had to grab. But I feel like I’ve embarrassed my friend JK.

While all this is going on… the other people from her previous confrontation (and others who witnessed both confrontations) look at me with sympathy and at her with shock and disgust.

Ten minutes later, icky bitch girl is in another fight. This time offended that someone touched her boob. Well lady, if your boobs didn’t stick out a foot and a half, maybe people wouldn’t run into them. Seriously. No one grazed my boobies all night! (Well, besides her!)

If she fully expected not to be bumped, she shouldn’t be taking up so dang much room! And I’m not talking about her size. Everyone would have provided her the buffer zone, but she put all of her available buffer zone in front of her – wasting it!

The best part about this whole scenario, is that some guys started filing in from behind, one by one to make like they were going to pay attention to her. Each one paid attention long enough to establish their new spot, gradually forcing her to the left of the stage and eventually she disappeared all together! Brilliant move!! Stunning! Bravo!

So icky bitch girl ruined about a song and a half for me, then I was back into the BoDeans groove. Man those guys rock! I think it was the best concert of my life (but I’ve established that I don’t go to many.) Still, the best!!!

Totally worth the 35 dollars that I paid back to JK!!

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