Saturday, November 02, 2013

A Servant's Heart

There are not many songs I can sing in church any more without my voice breaking from emotion.
That's one reason I don't join the choir! Who needs my wavering voice in front of a microphone?!

After of month of a pesky sore throat and cough, I was so pleased during the All Saints Day Mass to realize I could sing again. I love praising God in song. I have hated being silent.

Of course, that was until the choir started the chords of The Summons.
I recognize songs I love from the first chords, and I'm sure the people sitting near me can tell when I'm excited.... but this one, I can barely sing. The words hit me so deeply.
The Summons 
Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,
will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?

Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?

Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?
Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean and do such as this unseen,
and admit to what I mean in you and you in me?

Will you love the "you" you hide if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you've found to reshape the world around,
through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?

Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show.
Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me.
They hit me because they are truly a test of what I believe and how I behave. 
Do I really allow the Lord to guide my actions? Sometimes, yes.  To this degree? Uh, no.
Do I really offer my heart unselfishly? Sometimes, yes. Can I do so without being upset that my feelings and efforts aren't reciprocated? I really can't.
Do I offer to help others, even when it's ugly or hurtful? Sometimes, yes. Do I do so with no expectation of being recognized for it? Uh, no.
Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me? Yes, as long as the answer is what I wanted myself in the first place. Ugh.

So, I guess I have a lot of work to do. 

I feel so many hymns so intensely, that I often think how appropriate they would be for my funeral... or my wedding. 

This song and many others, The Servant Song Lead Me Lord, Here I am Lord, (all of them) I strangely think they would be so good for a wedding. But never sure where in the ceremony it would be appropriate. 

I particularly love the one (can't find it anywhere right now)  that goes; 

Won't you let me be your servant, let me be as Christ to youPray that I may have the strength to, let you be my servant too. 

Hmmm.  You can't tell me that my desire for marriage is misplaced. Any woman this devoted to a servant's heart would make an ideal wife and mother. Pity most men can't see that. 

I'm reminded that my cousin used this song at her wedding (second marriage for both of them ) in the songs leading up to the ceremony.  It was perfect. Set the tone without being heavy.  Maybe when I'm 50 I'll finally have the chance to use it too! 

--Okay, I have no idea where that highlight came from or how to get rid of it. Sorry --


Catholic Mutt said...

Gotta love crazy blogger formatting at times! That is a great song, and sometimes I can sing it and really mean it (ie, use it as a prayer that I live that out in my life, not that I actually do it well) and other times I find myself holding a piece back because it's not really what I want. But it's just part of that ongoing surrender and gradually working to give those things up.

TRS said...

That's exactly how I feel about it too!
It's very convicting.
It may be the best barometer of our faith and submission!