Saturday, October 05, 2013

7 Quick Takes #7

I feel like I'm in a place that Jen Fulwiler has described, about going into survival mode. The difference is, as a single person, I don't have any kids wearing me down and messing up my house. I'd really like to know who IS responsible for making it messy!
Last night one of my girlfriends started in on a little light nagging about how I don't seem to have time to do anything but workout, keep my house clean and do laundry. She's worried that I don't seem to be socializing much. She's right, to a point. But the fact is, I'm in survival mode. I'm dealing with some inner turmoil that she doesn't know about. There's work stuff, family stuff, and these days I'm acutely aware of how many friends I've lost to marriage and children - HATE that phenomenon!
That combined with my moratorium on dating, I just need to lay low right now. My friends don't get it. They think I need to be "out there". I've been "out there" for more than 20 years! Can I just relax for a minute?
So I'm a homebody. If I were married, no one would care if I stayed home more nights than I go out. But as a single person, it's like some kind of crime if I stay home. Now, granted, it's probably not the best idea for a single woman to stay in. But after 20 years can't I just relax sometimes?
You have no idea how exhausting it is to be disappointed every single time you go out. It's better for my heart and soul to stay in for a spell. Survival mode is a lot different for a spinster than for a mom!
Last month I wrote a post explaining the basic tenets of dating, and it's getting a lot of views. I had to write it because it has become clear that men no longer how to date. I don't know if it's my age group, or if it's the result of too much technology and social media. Or the influence of media, TV shows and movies that demonstrate the complete opposite of the right way to date.
If you know any men who are still in the dating stage of life, please share this post with them. It may make the difference in their success rate. Young single women should read it too, so they know what they ought to expect.
Plus, we'd all love to hear from you married folks if you agree or disagree about the rules of dating.

I was working on a couple small home improvement projects this week. I had my handyman come by to fix a few small things, one of which is my stove.  Ever since I moved in to my condo, I've tried to ignore the fact that every time I put cooking oil in a pan, it rolls to one side making it impossible to cook things evenly. Seriously, I have ignored the problem for nine years! So last weekend I had my handyman level the stove by twisting the little feet on the bottom.  Totally simple, but it does require two people to determine leveling without having to scramble up and down from the floor to the stove.
Makes a surprising difference! I can't believe I put it off for so long.

Speaking of the handyman, he was initially here to help drill some holes to install a curtain solution in my dining room/ living room. Sadly, it failed. My walls are composed of 60 year old plaster, and the soffit surrounding the window crumbles when you try to put a screw in it. So after 9 years of living here I still can't solve how to hang curtains in that room.  I had it solved for a while, until the one of the screws fell out. Hanging curtains in this room is still unsolvable.
All I need is a tension rod that spans 90 inches and doesn't require center support once the curtains add weight. (hint: they don't make those.)

This seems a bit odd to share, but in the spirit of home improvement, have you ever experienced the simple joy of discovering that you solved two problems for the price of one? As I have mentioned, my condo is in a building that is almost 65 years old. Considering the galvanized metal pipes throughout, and heaven only knows when the water tanks were replaced, when I moved in, the toilet bowl sported what was probably 60 year old rust stains. (okay maybe only 10 years - but still). The stains were such that it looked like I just didn't do a good job of cleaning my toilet. One of those you just have to grin and bear... because replacing a can like that is no easy feat. And since there's not really anything wrong with the toilet, why bother.
So last year, I found this eco-friendly cleanser and for no particular reason other than the fact that it's eco-friendly, I bought it. And last week I realized, the rust stain is GONE!  Whoo!

I'll spare you the detail shot. That would be worse than peeing scenes in movies (why anyone thinks those are neccessary is beyond me - I'm looking at you Shrek!) , even though I assure you the bowl is sparkly white! So if you're looking for an eco-friendly cleaner that does amazing things... here ya go. Look for it at your local crunchy-granola grocer.

I have had the strangest three weeks of a sore throat, and cough.  It is seriously ridiculous. I even ran into a sales clerk, who recognizing my weird cough, told me that she had it and that it lasted three weeks. I'm approaching the end of week three and still hacking cough. Oh come on!
It sounds awful. One of my co-workers said, "That sounds gross."  So the next day I stayed home.

I haven't been working out lately due to the weird cough and sore throat. But this week, our trainer came in with a crazy workout challenge. I suppose everyone else already knows this song, but it was the first time I heard it... and just now looking it up on URturbe there's apparently a well known challenge associated with it.  This one is different from the torture our trainer put us through... she started us with weighted squats... down and holding until the "Bring Sally up" lyrics. Let me tell you, it takes long enough! Barbell squats for the entire song, then again with kettlebell squats - whole song, followed by the pushups you see in the video.
So for the last couple of days my thighs hurt in a magnificent way that they have never hurt before. So knock yourself out. It works!

I feel better seeing these guys flake off and sit down when they fatigue out of the song. Sheesh. It's a killer.

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Genevra said...

I hope you kick that cough and feel better! But more than that I hope that the inner turmoil comes to an end. Inner turmoil is very hard and sometimes survival mode is a huge accomplishment in that state. Prayers for you and good for you for staying home and taking a break. Sometimes that is the best thing you can do for your heart and soul.

MrsK86 said...

As you know I'm getting married in 6 months, and losing touch with my friends is actually my worst nightmare. I can't fathom why some married people decide that they no longer need a social life as soon as they get married... surely it can't be good for the relationship to only ever spend time with each other?

I love my fiance, and he is certainly the person I want to see and talk to every day, but I also enjoy having girls' nights out, going to social events and having long phone calls/Skype sessions with friends. That's not going to change after I get married.

It also makes me sad how some married people (usually women) suddenly decide that they will only be friends with other married people. My fiance and I do like to spend time with other couples (it's nice to have friends in the same life situation), but I also love spending time with my single friends. I'm sorry that you've lost friends after they got married. I do think that they will regret it, particularly as their kids get a bit older and start having social lives of their own.

Catholic Mutt said...

I hear you on not being able to go out all of the time. I just can't. It doesn't work for my personality type. I do get out at least a couple times a week; often it may not be the best types of places for meeting men, but I have to live my life, and I can't make everything about meeting someone! I hear you on the pressure, though. I'm glad it sounds like you're doing what you need to do for you right now.

That song's pretty crazy! I watched the video with my butt firmly planted on the chair. I wouldn't have made it past the first push up. It was interesting to watch their form fall apart just before they'd have to take a seat. Even the guys that lasted the whole song didn't have very good form by the end.