Friday, March 16, 2012

A Man With A Plan

I have a second date. Doesn't seem like that should warrant an announcement... but let's face it. It does.

Too soon to know how I feel about this guy except for the fact that I most certainly had fun with him when I first met him.

What I do like, REALLY like, is that he's a man with a plan.  As we were planning our first meeting, he told me when we should meet and presented me with three options for our date.  Three options! Not just options... but three very active, very fun options. All I had to do was pick!

For our second date, he told me where he wanted to take me and once we could agree on a schedule he told me which movie we were going to see.

I was a bit surprised to realize that I loved that!
On one hand, we might like to think that we don't a man to make decisions for us. That's true in some cases. But on the other hand, the take-charge element is very attractive.

Considering the reasoning for some time, I eventually realized that I appreciate it because...  as a woman who has been single My. Whole. Life., every decision that has ever needed to be made has been made by me and by only me for the past 20+ years! How refreshing to have someone make a decision and all I have to do is show up!!

It also reminded me of a past relationship in which my guy was always asking me to plan what to do and where to go.
On the surface, it seems thoughtful that he wants my opinion.  In reality, it was simply more proof that he couldn't commit to anything! Worse yet, it relieved him of any responsibility. If we didn't enjoy it, if we didn't like the food.... he was off the hook and if blame were to be assigned... well, guess who he can blame?

Upon further consideration, it was a bit of a manipulation. Not only was he not responsible for any plans, and relieved of culpability... it was a ruse for acting like my opinion was valued - but  became transparent when my suggestion was dismissed as something we would not both enjoy.

As that relationship ended, I became more vocal about my displeasure.
Me: "Geez, I wish you could make a decision once in a while!"
Him (defensively) : "I didn't know I was failing so badly at that."
Me: "Why would I care where we eat?! Due my food restrictions, there's only two dishes at any given restaurant that I can have. What the heck do I care? A salad is a salad anywhere! When I DO state a preference, you shoot it down."

So, this new guy, who makes plans with the intention of just getting know me, and to delight me? Yeah, that's pretty cool.  And I told him so.

(Among other things revealed on our second date, was that he hasn't dated much in quite a while. I think that actually plays a part in it. It males him a little more old-fashioned about it.)


Genevra said...

Yea for a man with a plan! Good luck and have fun. :)

Kaci Jo said...


TRS said...

Kaci Jo.... how sweet of you!

Ladies, I posted this late, and we actually had our third date this weekend. He's very sweet and funny and I am sufficiently infatuated. There are complications - (location, his family, etc.. ) but I'll keep seeing him as long as he'll have me for now!

Genevra said...

Update!!! :)

I'm so happy for you!

Rachel said...

A man with plan is delightful. Even when they are married. :) I hope you're having fun and getting a good look at who he is.