I did something for the first time today.
Something I've thought about doing for a few years now. There's no good reason I haven't done it before. I can only blame timing, and ignorance and uncertainty.
But tonight after work, and after the gym (not the best case scenario) I went to spend time with Jesus.
I went to Eucharistic Adoration.
This means that body of Christ is on display in a church or in a special side chapel dedicated to adoration - and the church parishioners dedicate themselves to have someone with Christ at all times. (more in the link) The body of Christ is not to be left alone.
I went to the Garden Chapel of a neighboring church, as my parish doesn't have an adoration chapel.
I didn't know quite what to expect, but I have heard people describe their experience as sitting in the presence of Christ, very peaceful and comforting.
It was peaceful. We had a conversation.
I asked my God to lead me where He wants me to go. I know I've been pushing for my own way for the past ... I don't know... ALL my years. That's it. I give up. You show me the way. Please.