Friday, January 06, 2012

Mister Updates

I suppose it's time for a date update.

The last male mentioned was Mr. Potential.  Woah, that one ended weird. Everything was going nicely, although there was no smoochie time. I mean, there were a few sweet kisses and embraces, but no more.)  I wasn't sure if I was attracted to him - which is a major hang up for me.  I thought he was an attractive man, no doubt.... but I found him small and skinny (I'm speaking of stature... don't get carried away girls!) which had an impact on my 'desire'.  It's all very tricky to anticipate desire when you're abstinent!!!

Even more difficult, trying to explain to a man (even a Catholic man) about your chaste intentions.  Any advice on how to handle that is appreciated.

Back to the story, I was sick for a week - he was busy for the following week... so we didn't see each other - but he hadn't called either. I texted to say I was looking forward to seeing an event he was involved in, he encouraged my presence so I went to see said event and talked with him.  He apologized for his absence, saying he'd have time for me that week - then I never heard from him again.

So weird.

Then, I met a man at my church... (I know! Can you believe it? That NEVER happens!) and we went out a few times.  He's very nice, interesting... but something about him makes me uncomfortable... and it's nothing I can put my finger on. I only know that I'm not real comfortable with him and I have to respect that feeling.

The really difficult part of that is that he hits all the points, 1) he's Catholic and I met him at church 2) he wants to be married - not afraid of it and 3) he introduced me to family members (sibling and in-law and their kids) early on, and was ready to have me for Thanksgiving and to meet his mother when she visited before Christmas.  These are the things I'm always wishing for... but somehow made me a bit uncomfortable.

That really bothers me because for some reason I feel like every guy I like doesn't like me and the ones who like me, I'm not interested in.  Gosh it's so frustrating!

Then, I met another guy online - we'll call him Hometown Boy.  He's from my home state and my alma mater - so when we started talking on the phone we connected pretty easily. We arranged a meeting at one of my favorite places. When I walked in, I saw him standing in the back and thought he was even cuter than his profile pictures, so a smile naturally spread over my face.  When he noticed I was there, and recognized me, he smiled just as broadly.  Good start.

It had snowed a few inches the night before and it was really cold, so as we parted he asked me to call him when I got home to be sure I made it safely.  When I did, we talked for another hour and a half!!

We talked a few more times, and made plans for a little destination trip that I was really looking forward to. His work schedule changed and we had to scrap the evening trip. Then we discussed whether to spend New Years Eve together... and ultimately decided not to.  Since then, I hadn't heard from him aside from a text on New Years day. This confused me greatly, because he MUST like me.  Guys don't talk for hours with girls they're not interested in.  Then finally he called me tonight - just when I thought he fell off the planet. He's a little sloppy about setting up a definite date but I'll blame that on his erratic work schedule - because he did ask, he just didn't make it firm.

So Hometown Boy is still in the running.

In the meantime, I met a couple of other guys from the dating site before my subscription ran out.
One of them seemed to be a contender until he told me that he voted for Obama and would vote for Obama again! I literally set my jaw on the table! Took a few minutes before I could speak!

Then another guy who promptly told me that all of his friends have hated every woman he's ever dated. I could only think he either has terrible taste in women, or he gives his friends too much say over his love life, or his friends are right. Either way, I don't think I'll fit in. I might entertain another date, but that kind of information shouldn't come up on a first meeting! Sheesh!

So that's the update.  Not sure if I've met Mr. Right, but I have certainly met someone interesting.


Judith said...

I feel the exact same way. I feel like every guy I like doesn't like me and the ones who like me, I'm not interested in.

And my friends are no help because they say maybe that God is trying to show me that he wants something different for me. But I think if God wanted that for me then I'd feel something for the person instead of a feeling of why me.

It's very frustrating when I want to be married and all that I attract are people I'm not interested in. Sometimes I feel like I should just date them and settle, but another part of me says that I'd rather be single then settle for someone I'm not really interested in.

TRS said...

@ Judith, my friends pointed that out to me for a while too - that I wasn't interested in the guys that were interested in me. And that was years ago!

I don't know what it is. In my experience, if they're too bashful to ask me out - I sort of assume they're not going to be able to keep up - so why bother?

However, I will usually go out with anyone who asks me out - even if I'm not terribly interested - because I just might like him if I get to know him. Got to give 'em a chance. Plus, if it's obvious to both of you that there's no spark - maybe you're both mature enough to think of them if they're a match for a friend.

Second dates, I'm more selective about.