A look at the single life and dating - after age 30!
Who would have thought it would be like this?!
Monday, July 04, 2011
Simple Question
How much of your life do you expect to go by before you find the person you're supposed to spend your life with?
21 comments:
Anonymous
said...
Some go their entire life, some just a few years. I had someone ask me that who has been married 10 years and is in her mid 30's. She feels like she married the wrong person. It's more prudent to marry the right person and get it right than live the rest of your life miserable.
I'm 39 and I used to think it would happen between 25 and 30, or certainly by 35. Now I just try to trust God that he has a plan for me, and not think about the 'when' too much. I've found that things I THINK will make me happy don't always pan out. I bought a house, owned it for 9 years, and just sold it b/c I disliked being a homeowner so much (the entire 9 years). My judgement was so wrong on that one. Who knows what else it's wrong about! So, I try to focus on trusting God each day. He knows better what's best for us. Maybe the right guy for you isn't ready for you at the moment - maybe he's in an unhappy marriage, etc. and God needs some time to unfold that plan. Just some thoughts. (sorry - I digressed from your question!)
Melissa, I really liked your comment. So true about both people in the equation being ready at the right time, and trusting that God knows what is best for us, and to quote someone else, didn't lose our "file". :)
Is not a simple question, it is a strange question. Why do you think we are supposed to spend our lives with someone?where did you get that idea from? if you spend your life looking for someone to spend your life with , maybe you are wasting your life. Being single is part of our life so the best thing is to be happy being single,if you think happyness will show up when you get married then why so many people get divorced, maybe they made the same mistake, you have to be happy before you know the right person. It´s an opinion, I´m just sharing some thoughts, I´m not accusing anyone.
Well, that's fine. But God also puts a desire in the hearts of some of us (most of us) to share our lives and grow in love. I have asked Him, nay, BEGGED, to release this desire from my heart.... and He has not. Who am I to argue? The single life is not a vocation. If I am not called to religious life, I must be called to marriage.
He gave us self control, our emotions not necessarily come from God. Life is life, either you are single or not, that division between secular and religious life it doesnt exist in the Bible.
I think you're in the wrong place to really argue this. If I understand what you're saying, you think we should accept that we're single and live a happy and fulfilling life regardless and know that God loves us anyway. If you take the time to read more posts here, you'll know that TRS does just that, as do most of her readers. That doesn't mean that sometimes we're sad that we're single and even sometimes a little desperate to move on to the next stage of our lives. This blog is primarily about that, and TRS is free to lament about it sometimes. As far as I can tell, she's a well-balanced, happy overall, daughter and servant of God who would very much like to be married.
Desire and love are not emotions. They can be controlled and chosen, but not to the same extent.
God created the world and then he created a marriage. Those were His priorities and, therefore, ours. We're just trying to do the best we can to figure out how.
And, btw, what she meant by not being called to a religious life was by not be called to the ministry of the Catholic church of which she is a part, i.e. being a nun. In all other ways, however, she doesn't separate her secular life from her religious life, nor should any of us who choose to believe.
(TRS - I hope you don't mind that I jumped in here. You're welcome to delete this comment if you'd rather.)
I know Miss TRS is a catholic, thats why I said it. I meant that you dont have to be single to be a priest and you dont have to be married just because you are not a priest or a nun(according to the Bible) in fact being married is the best thing if you are in the ministry. I said you have to be happy before getting married because some people think they will be happy when the get something like a better car, a better job, etc,or when they get married, so their happiness depends on external things and when they get them they find out they are not happy, because happynes is not an external thing, but I didnt said you dont have to get married. I didnt use the word "desire", and I think love is an emotion.
I am giving myself 3 years...if I imagine waiting longer, I become desperate. It doesn't matter how old I am--if I'm still single next year? 3 years from then... :)
Important clarification: Love is an emotion(I was talking about "falling in love" which is not a bad thing); But Love(not the emotion) is about decisions and actions, my opinion.Thank you.
21 comments:
Some go their entire life, some just a few years. I had someone ask me that who has been married 10 years and is in her mid 30's. She feels like she married the wrong person. It's more prudent to marry the right person and get it right than live the rest of your life miserable.
when you figure out the answer, would you please let me know?
I thought you said it was a "simple" question????
I really expected it was going to happen over 10 years ago. Just one of many things I have been wrong about!
I wish I could "like" these comments!
I was just praying about that very question last night. I wish I knew!!
I'm 39 and I used to think it would happen between 25 and 30, or certainly by 35. Now I just try to trust God that he has a plan for me, and not think about the 'when' too much. I've found that things I THINK will make me happy don't always pan out. I bought a house, owned it for 9 years, and just sold it b/c I disliked being a homeowner so much (the entire 9 years). My judgement was so wrong on that one. Who knows what else it's wrong about! So, I try to focus on trusting God each day. He knows better what's best for us. Maybe the right guy for you isn't ready for you at the moment - maybe he's in an unhappy marriage, etc. and God needs some time to unfold that plan. Just some thoughts. (sorry - I digressed from your question!)
Melissa, I really liked your comment. So true about both people in the equation being ready at the right time, and trusting that God knows what is best for us, and to quote someone else, didn't lose our "file". :)
Heck if I know.
Is not a simple question, it is a strange question. Why do you think we are supposed to spend our lives with someone?where did you get that idea from? if you spend your life looking for someone to spend your life with , maybe you are wasting your life. Being single is part of our life so the best thing is to be happy being single,if you think happyness will show up when you get married then why so many people get divorced, maybe they made the same mistake, you have to be happy before you know the right person. It´s an opinion, I´m just sharing some thoughts, I´m not accusing anyone.
Pablo,
Who said? The Bible said. "Love one another." "Be fruitful and multiply. " "husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church. "
But not everyone, being single is not a sin(gle).
Well, that's fine. But God also puts a desire in the hearts of some of us (most of us) to share our lives and grow in love.
I have asked Him, nay, BEGGED, to release this desire from my heart.... and He has not. Who am I to argue?
The single life is not a vocation. If I am not called to religious life, I must be called to marriage.
He gave us self control, our emotions not necessarily come from God. Life is life, either you are single or not, that division between secular and religious life it doesnt exist in the Bible.
Pablo,
I think you're in the wrong place to really argue this. If I understand what you're saying, you think we should accept that we're single and live a happy and fulfilling life regardless and know that God loves us anyway. If you take the time to read more posts here, you'll know that TRS does just that, as do most of her readers. That doesn't mean that sometimes we're sad that we're single and even sometimes a little desperate to move on to the next stage of our lives. This blog is primarily about that, and TRS is free to lament about it sometimes. As far as I can tell, she's a well-balanced, happy overall, daughter and servant of God who would very much like to be married.
Desire and love are not emotions. They can be controlled and chosen, but not to the same extent.
God created the world and then he created a marriage. Those were His priorities and, therefore, ours. We're just trying to do the best we can to figure out how.
And, btw, what she meant by not being called to a religious life was by not be called to the ministry of the Catholic church of which she is a part, i.e. being a nun. In all other ways, however, she doesn't separate her secular life from her religious life, nor should any of us who choose to believe.
(TRS - I hope you don't mind that I jumped in here. You're welcome to delete this comment if you'd rather.)
-Jinxie
Jinxie! I love what you wrote! Thanks!
Jinxie:
I know Miss TRS is a catholic, thats why I said it. I meant that you dont have to be single to be a priest and you dont have to be married just because you are not a priest or a nun(according to the Bible) in fact being married is the best thing if you are in the ministry.
I said you have to be happy before getting married because some people think they will be happy when the get something like a better car, a better job, etc,or when they get married, so their happiness depends on external things and when they get them they find out they are not happy, because happynes is not an external thing, but I didnt said you dont have to get married.
I didnt use the word "desire", and I think love is an emotion.
I am giving myself 3 years...if I imagine waiting longer, I become desperate. It doesn't matter how old I am--if I'm still single next year? 3 years from then... :)
ha ha Katie! I have had the exact same thought!!
Important clarification: Love is an emotion(I was talking about "falling in love" which is not a bad thing); But Love(not the emotion) is about decisions and actions, my opinion.Thank you.
Love is a choice... not a feeling. (not an emotion)
I choose love.
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