I've been on a couple different dating websites for the last couple of months. While I have been - shall we say, approached - by a number of interesting men... I have only met one (yeah, 1) of them.
My subscription on the paid site will be up next week, and one gentleman who has been sending me smileys every week doesn't look like he's going to do anything else. Now, of course I respond to these men - but I still feel like the man should pursue. I mean, I'm on the site - I'm obviously looking to meet someone. I've responded favorably and enthusiastically to their meek inquiries - but they can't step it up from there. Disappointing.
It's the same problem in the real world. These men just don't do anything.
Yet they claim they want to meet someone and hopefully marry.
A few years back, one of my best guy friends was ranting about the marketing of the Edd!e Bau&r catalogue. It was a father's day issue and he noticed that the men portrayed as fathers were his age... and now he was upset that he didn't have a wife and family. After all, it was time!
(Boy do I know that feeling!)
I sympathized with him, but then said, "I've known you for 5 years and I've never known you to even go on a date. How do you expect to get married if you don't even ask women on dates?"
"Well," He began in all seriousness, "I plan to find the right woman first and then I'll ask her out."
I'm pretty sure I threw my arms up in frustration at that point!
More recently, I've quizzed many of my male friends about this phenomenon of them never asking women out. They tell me about their fear of rejection.
I've heard this for years and I have never understood it.
Fear of rejection? What exactly? You're afraid of the word no? Really. Because the word no is painful or something? It's not. Believe me.
Seriously, I cannot identify with the fear of rejection. Maybe because I've been rejected nearly every day of my life. And I'm still standing. No bruises, no blood. What's the big deal?
Early on, it was on the school playground at recess. I was one of the two skinniest, uncoordinated girls in my class - we were always the last two left standing for team selections. I was downright jubilant the days I was picked second last!! Yeah, it stung to be picked last, but I more or less thought it was silly that the others cared so much about winning a 15 minute recess kick-soccer game!!
Then in high school, I was still skinny. Boys weren't interested in a bony, flat-chested girl when they could take Boobie McChesty to Prom instead.
Accustomed to rejection, I chose a career in broadcast journalism - where looks tend to matter more than experience. I was rejected on a weekly basis during the post-graduate application process.
Then, as a reporter making cold calls for same-day television interviews... I heard a lot of no.
Not to mention the daily news meetings where we pitch story ideas each morning just to get shot down.
Rejection? Big fat hairy deal.
The idea of a big strong man being afraid of rejection just doesn't sit well with me. Honestly, if he is that afraid of 'no' - he's probably not man enough. For anyone.
"Faint heart never won fair lady."