Monday, October 08, 2012

Over-Qualified

When my church has a social function, I still hold out hope that I might meet a single Catholic man if I attend. We had one this weekend. There were so many attractive men, I made a point of checking out their left hand ring fingers. Yeah, they each had a ring. Every last one of them.

Which supports my theory that men don't go to church until they're engaged. (Catholic ones in particular) My only hope is to convert one myself - but that seems doubly challenging, as I can't get men to hang on when I don't sleep with them on the third date - much less get 'em to go to Mass with me!!

So I was talking with a lovely woman who is married with kids attending our Catholic school.  We got to talking about some of the challenges our parish faces, in getting more people involved in activities. She seemed stunned when I said that I wish the school would put more information out on activities --- that I would love to attend school plays - or help coach a speech team -- but because I'm single with no kids, I never hear about them.

Just another way the Church has no idea what to do with single people.

This opened the conversation to other needs for community. I suggested real community fellowship, in which the single adults and families team up - study the bible together, visit each other's homes - instead of separating us like a group of lepers. "Because," I said half joking, "you married people need to stop acting like you don't have brothers-in-law and cousins that you could introduce me to!"

She laughed and said yes, she did had a brother, but she would never wish him upon me.
I hear that a lot. So many good, church going families only know of men who aren't suitable for a nice church-going woman.

Know what it reminds me of?
When I was unemployed and searching for jobs... I would hear back that they weren't going to bring me in for an interview because I was over-qualified for the position (the pay grade really).

You know what this country needs? Better jobs and better men, apparantly.

3 comments:

Catholic Mutt said...

I am with you that it would be nice to find a way to be a part of the community even as a single person. And as to the men? I really don't know what is up with them.

Ruth said...

Hello,
I love your blog and the way you write and as a single 31-year-old woman, I can also relate.I attend a non-denominational church and they have a college group and THEN a family life group where all the people my age are. I'm pretty sure single Christian evangelical men don't attend church until the wife and kids come along either. If a person by chance does have a brother, nephew or cousin I usually get the same comment, "I wouldn't wish him upon you." I appreciate the concern, but there has got to be some decent guys out there. And then when someone does want to set me up, it's usually prefaced with, "Would you date someone younger, divorced, with children?" Or shorter? I'm 5'10" and I'm sorry to be picky but 5'7" is a TAD to short for my liking. I wouldn't write someone off who is divorced or has a child but sometimes it makes me pause a moment. And if I do agree to meet someone and I realize the personality doesn't click or really, he's not my type, I get grief from well-meaning people who think I'm letting MY ONLY OPTION go by. I would rather be single than with someone I don't really like hanging out with or don't find attractive.

Katie said...

You know, I agree. I met a guy recently who was, meh? Okay. I gave him a chance. He was head-over-heels for me. This usually doesn't happen for me, as most guys are gone by the third date for the reasons you mentioned. I did not feel ANYTHING for him.

It seems that when you're not into the guy, he's hard to get rid of, and when you are, he's gone in a flash.

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