Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Challenge

I tend to challenge assumptions. Particularly as a single woman.

Once, just after I completed college I had to call my High School to get some transcripts or some such.

So I called my High School and a student, working in the school office answered. I told her what I needed and she asked for my name. I told her my name, the same as I introduced myself at the start of the phone call.

"I mean your maiden name." she said.
"One in the same." I replied. "I've only just finished college, not married yet."


Shortly after I bought my condo, a friend, also a new homeowner told me about a home store going out of business. She knew I wanted to change my bathroom sink and thought I might find a deal there.

I remembered to swing by after work one day - failing to bring my measurements with me - but thinking I could look around.

A salesman swarmed me, and upon hearing I wanted a pedestal sink showed me a sink that could suffice for a tub!
"I think that is too big for my space. I'm sorry, I forgot to bring my measurements."

He went on about it being a 'regular size'. Not realizing that I live in an older building and not an oversized modern home that needs a sink the size of a swimming pool to bring things to scale.

He was relentless - trying to push the sink on me. I insisted my determination that it would not fit between the toilet and the tub and suddenly he was hit with a bright idea.
"You could call. Find out the right measurement."

I didn't skip a beat.

"Call? Call where, my home? Who would answer? I'm here. I am not home. I cannot answer at home if I am here."

He did not understand.
So I clarified.

"I'm not married. I live alone. There is no husband to come to my rescue here."

He was bewildered. As if I couldn't own a home without a husband or something.

Anyway. I left the salesman, looked around the store and found the perfect pedestal sink (petite size) for $49 and hired a handyman to install it.

I still love that sink!


erinannie said...

I feel ya!

I called my landlord recently with a problem. His response? "The handyman is busy this week. Can you ask your husband to fix it and just send us the receipts?"


Also, would you mind terribly if I vented over here in the safety of your blog comments? Its not okay for me to say this on my blog. My mother would kill me for saying this.

As you know,(but your readers won't, so I'll explain briefly), I'm *thisclose* to getting my foster child placed with me. I was spending a few minutes alone with my grandmother this week. She asked what's going on in my life, and I told her about my hopefully-soon-to-be little girl. She took in a deep sigh and said, "When I saw you last month you looked so good after losing all that weight. I thought maybe you could catch a good man finally, so you wouldn't have to do this ridiculous stunt to have a good life."


TRS said...

Oooohhh... That really bums me out for you.

Sadly, we both understand her good intentions but that doesn't take the sting away.
Ugh... as if losing weight is/was what is keeping you from finding a decent guy. Come on Grandma...would you want me to be with a guy who wouldn't be with me a few pounds heavier?!

And ridiculous stunt?! I think not! What you are doing is wonderful, and generous and fulfilling for more than just yourself!! I'm so proud of you AND the insides of your heart!

Genevra said...

Ladies-my favorite is when someone finds out that you are not married and then this look just passes over their face like they are trying to figure out what is wrong with you, since they can't figure out an obvious physical or social skills reason. "But you're attractive and have your act together. Why aren't you married yet? What is wrong with you?"

And yes I have had said to me.

I really have to bite my tongue when it is said by someone who has what I would call a less than stellar marriage themselves.

Or how about the married women who think just because you are single, you are always on the prowl for a husband, and especially theirs? Husbands who usually aren't that great of a catch to begin with.

I actually had a little girl say to me once that her mom said that the little girl needed to keep an eye on her daddy when I was around him. It took all the self control I had not to bust out laughing because it was such a riduculous comment that the mother had no basis for other than her own insecurities. Well, other her husband would seek me out all the time.

That is a story I wish I could post on my own blog. :)

It amazes me how people must think that single women must have so little to live for and the only goals we have are used to distract ourselves from the fact that we are not married.

TRS said...

Oh... have a I been there!
One of my earliest posts on this blog was in reference to a man who, upon learning I was single, no kids, not even a pet... said, "You must be picky."

Um... yeah.
Does your wife know you're NOT picky? Can I be the one to tell her? I mean really - what - you just married her cuz she was there? Nice!

Giggles said...

I took my car to get a crack in the windshield fixed once and the guy insisted that it had already been fixed and that perhaps my husband had taken care of it. No husband. Then perhaps it was my father. Nope. Then it must have been my brother. Not even close.

He simply couldn't understand that a woman could have her very own car and need to get it fixed all by her big girl self without a man to do it for her. The cracked hadn't been fixed before. He did fix it. But I decided I'd go elsewhere the next time.