An Ideal Girlfriend

It seems, that one of the top things on a single man’s wish list is a woman who enjoys the same activities as he.

Here in Denver, that puts mountain biking and skiing at the top of the list. They want a woman who can at least keep up with them – and in this very active, outdoor oriented state (Colorado, I mean – not a mental state) there are many women who fit the requirement. Lucky guys.

In my relationship, Mr. Burns is thankful that I enjoy hiking and rollerblading and biking, even if I can’t exactly keep up. Mr. Burns is good at almost every sport. Last summer he spent a lot of time trying to teach me tennis. This was both fun and frustrating.

Each time I let a ball go by just because I didn’t want to run to meet it, added to his frustration. But in my defense, I was suffering from hip pain which was more debilitating than I realized. The pain made it very hard to run, and took twice as much energy as it should just to trot after the stray balls.

So when I told Mr. Burns that I was a decent skier, it is fair that he had some doubts. I haven’t even been skiing in three years. Two years ago I went up to Breckenridge with an out-of-town friend and we took snow board lessons together. That was my last time on the mountain.

Now, Mr. Burns has been skiing quite a bit this winter while I was working weekends. This past weekend was our only chance to go up together. My brother and his family were out to visit and take their kids skiing for the first time. The fam stayed at my cousin’s condo, and Mr. Burns and I joined them on Friday night.

I had to go rent skis and equipment and Mr. Burns overheard the conversation as the sales guy was trying to determine my skill level. I told him that I was pretty good on blues and trying to conquer blue/blacks. I’m sure Mr. Burns had his doubts.

On Saturday, the two of us took my oldest niece down some runs and taught her how to advance beyond the ‘snow plow’ philosophy that the instructors drilled into her the day before. It was an opportunity for me to warm up a bit, since it had been so long since I strapped boards to my feet. Thankfully it all came back to me.

After two runs with the kiddo, Mr. Burns asked if I was up for a blue/black and off we went. The steepest section was a little tricky but I gave it my all – at one point about 20 yards from catching up to Mr. Burns I was chanting, “Kinda scary, kinda scary, kinda scary.” He heard me and had a good chuckle over it.

Once past that challenge I felt pretty exhilarated for the rest of the black run. Mr. Burns was beaming as he announced that I was pretty fast. He was impressed! How thrilled he was that I was a better skier than most of his friends’ wives. Whoo hoo!

Later, I told him that I’ve only been skiing 10-12 days out of my entire life. Well, now he was more than excited. If I could actually get on a mountain I’d be a great skier! The only thing holding me back is cash flow!

Yeah… you definitely have a future together when you talk about getting buddy passes next year.

I gave it up for Lent

But I have to keep working on it.

My Lenten Resolution was to manage my time on the internet in an effort to not waste so much of it. Time that is.

I even bought a kitchen timer and for the first two or three weeks, I'd give myself 20 or 30 minutes a day and I stuck to it.

Mr. Burns tries to help. When I sit down to check my email or pay bills online he reminds me, "Don't stay on too long baby." He knows better than to try to figure out what I'm doing on here. The answer would probably bore him to tears!

Now, the week before Easter, I'm no better off than when I started. Except now my eyeballs aren't tired all the time!

Tonight, on my trolling adventures I found this:

Too perfect!

Though I'm not going around correcting people... but I do enjoy sharing my opinion.

Okay... gotta go to bed now.

It's The Little Things

I feel like I have neglected my brain for the past few years.

Honestly... after writing on daily deadlines for 10 years straight since finishing college... I changed careers and started writing only emails. Then I started this blog just to force myself to practice my writing (and to have some sort of audience - even if it's mostly imagined).

I swear, I find myself mispelling words that I never even doubted myself about before. It's as if my fingers don't even remember the words - regardless of what my brain claims to know!!

Some people turn to puzzles and crosswords to keep their brain sharp. I know people who have enjoyed those sort of games their entire lives. They never really appealed to me.

Then Sudoku came about. Please. I would never choose to spend extra time with numbers no matter how friendly they pretend to be!

But Mr. Burns, being the Head-Of-His-Class, Engineer, brainy type - obviously keeps his mind sharp with Sudoku, Crossword puzzles and other mind teasers. One Sunday he sat toiling over and enjoying the Post's crossword puzzle and as I made attempts to assist - I realized that Crossword clues are a venacular all their own. If I wanted to take up Crossword Puzzles, I would have to start with the Idiot's Guide just to warm up!!

The next time we found ourselves at the store, Mr. Burns picked up a couple of puzzle/mind teaser workbooks. Hmmm. They got an idiot version in there for me to work on?

The books have 8-12 different kinds of puzzles... and before long, the two of us found one type of puzzle to work on together. It's called Anagram Magic Square. Mr. Burns handles the math portion and we each contribute our specialized knowledge to solve the literary clues. Not bad. It's certainly a fun way to uncover the many interesting ways your mates' mind works. (I worry that he's just figured out that I'm not-so-bright!)

I also found another sort of puzzle that is particularly appealing to me - Laddergrams. Ooh fun!

So I found it particularly charming the other day when I got to Mr. Burns' house and he held up the puzzle book saying, "There is only one of these puzzles left in this book. (magic square) I'm saving it for us to do together. Don't do it without me."

Awwww!

It is a truly fine and elegant drink

Can't stop laughing.

For Valentine's day, Mr. Burns decided to take me to the little mom 'n pop indian restaurant by my house that I enjoy so very much. Really, it is unbelieveable how good the Saag is there!!

The problem with dining with me... never mind all my food allergies... is that I really prefer sparkling water with my meal. I love San Pellegrino.

But I know from experience that this little restaurant only has Perrier, and that will do just fine. I also remember from another time at this restaurant, that the same waiter was more than unfamiliar with just exactly what Perrier is. During last night's visit, we learned that he didn't remember anything from last time.

So anyway. Mr. Burns orders a beer and I ask for a Perrier. And to be clear, I described what I wanted... a bottle of sparkling water.

In short order Mr. Burns gets his beer and the waiter asks me to repeat what kind of wine I want. Not wine, sparkling water. Okay. He goes off.

He brings us our flatbread and tammerin sauce... yummmmmm. It's kind of spicy so by now I'm really wishing for my water.
Another 5 minutes go by and the waiter tells me he'll have my bottle out in a few more minutes. Meanwhile I'm staring at bottles of Perrier behind the counter staring back at me. Taunting me.

Before long, I see our waiter with the manager, pulling bottles of imported beer out of a bar fridge looking for whatever it is he's dying to bring me. I wonder what they're looking for.

Next, our waiter arrives with an ice bucket on a stand and sets it next to our table. (I'm crying right now trying to find words to relay the story!!!) Mr. Burns and I exchange glances. He's pretty concerned. We are quite positive that Perrier rarely comes with bottle service!!

Mr. Burns shoots up from his seat - over to the counter and explains that I just want bottled water. (can't breathe!) He comes back and says he was worried they were going to open a bottle of Dom Perigone or something!! And he didn't want to pay for that.

The waiter apologizes profusely - takes away the ice bucket and brings me a plastic bottle of Perrier. He thought I asked for sparkling wine - thus the big production to locate it!

Oh my word.

My Funny Valentine

Mr. Burn's and I have had brief conversations over the past year that we've been dating that revealed that neither of us care too much for Valentine's day.

I once told him I'd rather get flowers in August when they are reasonably priced and a surprise.

I never want him to feel obligated to get me something.

Last Sunday we were going through the Sunday paper and I saw all the JCPenney and KMart ads with all the heart shaped jewlery (which I personally, find not only goofy-looking, but hideous).
In a moment of self preservation turned to him and said, "I'm sure you never would, but I just want to be clear. Don't ever get me anything like this."
He replied, "I wouldn't."

Whew.

So Mr. Burns called me today on my lunch break and said, "Happy Valentine's Day. I didn't get you anything." I said that's fine. pause. "Did you get me something?" He asked. No. I made you something. "You made me something? Crap."

Tee hee.

Originally, I had no plans to get Mr. Burns anything but a card for Valentine's Day. Then I was talking with my friend Kimberly - telling her one of those stories about little frustrations in a relationship - a story in which Mr. Burns was frustrated with my habit of identifying different meanings to words that he viewed as inocculous.

For example, "But you keep saying it's fine. Then later you're upset about it!?!?!"
I had to explain that 'fine' doesn't mean, "great. that's super. It means that I accept that right now and I'm not ready to give up on you just yet."

After this exchange, Mr. Burns blurted out, "Well. If I had consulted the TRS to English dictionary, maybe I would know that!"

Kimberly cracked up at the story and suggested that I make him a TRS to English dictionary for Valentine's day. I couldn't resist! I thought I'd go to Kinko's to use their Publisher program and color copiers and spend about $5 on the little project.

Wrong! An hour of computer time cost me $14 and several pages that printed out too big cost me a bunch more! Oh well. I was giggling the whole time and left rather satisfied about my little gag gift.

So when he came over this evening to take me to dinner, I presented him with a card and his little wrapped gift. (the card nearly made him cry) I told him the gift was something he once mentioned he would find useful.

He was completely confused!

Finally he got it open and saw the 'binding' which read, "TRS to English Dictionary" He burst out laughing. Then he turned the book over and over reading each of the tidbits I came up with...

Along with the title, the front cover read: "The standard reference tool for certain men named Mr. Burns - seeking to communicate with certain women named TRS."

Then on the back: " The beauty of this reference source is its adapability. It is designed to be added to and modified for years to come. A flexibility unparalleled among all other reference guides."

I also added reviews - "This is the essential tome for effective discourse. I couldn't put it down."

"Undeniably clear and concise. No other reference is comparable."
"Redefines terminology in an easy to understand format. A must for all men."
and my favorite.... "Understated. Refined. Superlative." !!!

He didn't stop laughing until long after he'd read every word!
It was a big hit.

Milestones or Assumptions?

Losing a child has to be the hardest thing God asks anyone to face.

I've been following a story here in Denver on the case of a Colorado woman who moved to Georgia. She was back in Denver for Christmas, returned to Georgia and was suddenly missing on New Years Day. Turns out she went for a hike with her dog and encountered a wanderer who murdered her.

Story here: http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/15186861/detail.html

The murderer was sentenced to life in prison last week. At the sentencing, her father spoke about his regret that he'll never walk her down the aisle at her wedding, or hold a grandchild.

Why is that always what parents say? That they most look forward to seeing their child get married? That they expect them to have children?

I understand that they are talking about milestones, but why does everyone assume that everyone is going to get married and reproduce?

I mean no disrespect to this woman's family. I understand the loss. My sister was murdered at the same age as this woman. But my parents never said a word about missing her wedding. Maybe that's because she already had a baby. I don't know.

I bring this up because as someone's child... if that's the big event my parents were looking forward to... well I feel like a lousy kid. I'm almost 38. I've never been married. I've never had a kid because I don't want to raise a kid without a husband. I realize that even if I do get married someday, my parents may not be around to witness it. Does that make me a failure? One basic thing that my parents want for me and I can't even give them that!

My thoughts also go to the children who hear this expectation come from their own parents mouths... even though they might be gay. Can you imagine the pressure of a poor kid who knows he or she will never have ANY interest in the opposite sex - to learn that the big day their parents are waiting for is a wedding day?!?

Maybe it comes from knowing a great love.... and wanting nothing but a great love for your child. Maybe that is the supreme happiness. Maybe that's as good as it gets.

But to me, it's almost like saying that unless you find that love... that dang near impossible to find love... that your life was somehow empty. And I guess I find that insulting because I don't view my life as empty.

Maybe some of you folks who have fallen in love and bred and reproduced can enlighten me.

Christmas recap

Wow. I almost forgot to share!
Christmas was so lovely.

This is the first year that I didn't trek home for Christmas with the family.

Since Mr. Burns and I went out to San Francisco for Kimberly & Andrew's wedding the week before Christmas, I begged out on hopping in a car and driving across a state and a half. And I'm talking Colorado and Nebraska.... not two of those puny little states out East that only take an hour to cross!

So on Christmas eve Mr. Burns came to my place just as my brother phoned. We listened to his family along with my parents singing Silent Night over the phone! My brother plays guitar - and after the gifts are opened on Christmas eve, everyone sings Christmas songs and carols. I didn't want to miss that so I asked them to call for at least one song. It made me a little teary picking out the voices of my nieces and nephew at certain points in the song.

After that we went to Midnight Mass at the Cathedral Basilica - Officiated by the Bishop. It was beautiful. The choir - magnificent. I was moved to tears.

Then Christmas morning, I got out of my bed and went to Mr. Burns' room to be sure he was up, as he had committed to lector at the 10:00 Mass at his church.

I crawled into his bed while he went to church.

When he got back home, I was still snuggled under the down comforter with crisp winter sunlight streaming in the floor to ceiling to windows. Such a perfect place!

Then he walked in with a big smile on his face, dangling a gift bag on his finger. We had agreed not to exchange gifts, but he's too sweet and generous for that. I feel a little rotten because I stuck to the agreement - but I'm not working right now so I think we both think that's fair.
Inside the bag... a gift card from a brand new spa just across the stree from his condo. He told me that I could just ooze my way back to his place afterward!

The best part - he purchased the river rock massage!

When Kimberly and I went for Mani/pedis on her wedding day - they used warm river stones to massage our legs. It was amazing!!! Who knew that heated stones could feel so - - - GOOD! After we spent 10 minutes talking about it, I asked Mr. Burns if he could believe we could gush over rocks like that! He couldn't.
But how sweet. He listens. And got me the river stone massage! I'm such a lucky girl.

Once I pulled myself out of bed, we spent the day eating Honey Baked Ham and garlic mashed potatoes, watching movies and watching the snow fall.
The snow fell all day long. It was amazing. We got 8 inches in one day!

So my favorite line from The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band's 'Colorado Christmas' is true:
The closest thing to heaven on this planet anywhere
Is a quiet Christmas morning
in the Colorado snow

Why would I ask him?

Dear, Sweet, fabulous Kimberly asked me to be her wedding photographer. I was honored of course, as I am an amature photographer who tends to rely on AUTO. I've yet to embrace aperture and f-stop settings. I was a bit nervous about how things would turn out.

This meant that I would require the use of a flash during the ceremony. Something most churches don't allow. Kimberly of course, had this all worked out with her minister - until the wedding rehearsal.

I spoke with the minister after rehearsal, asking what she would tolerate and what she wouldn't. During this little talk she told me that while she is allowing flash photography in this instance - the other minister was very much against it - and that if he gave me the evil eye during the ceremony - that I should cease taking pictures all together.

I shouldn't have, but I told Kimberly what the minister said. I wanted to be sure that she knew my limitations. In the car ride from the church to the next meeting place - Kimberly had to rant.
This 'other minister' sort of included himself in the ceremony two weeks before the wedding - and had been making changes all over the place.

Kimberly wanted to email him and tell him to back off. "No wait, I'll call him." she said, "and tell him that he can't just change everything that we worked to put in place - at the last minute. What do you think I should say?"

Wow. I didn't want to see anything blow up before the wedding.

I surprised myself by advising her to ask her fiance what he thinks. You see, I've always been a very independent spirit - I question nothing. So when this advice poured out of my mouth I realized just how much I have come to trust Mr. Burns and value his contribution.

I turned to Kimberly and said, "I just know that when I have an issue, and ask Mr. Burns what he thinks - he always has an answer that I would never have arrived at... and it's usually the best answer."

Kimberly agreed. Asking her man for his opinion was a good idea. Then we marveled at these wonderful men in our lives and how we trust them so implicitly. Something these two strong headed women NEVER expected to find!

The next day, as the bride and I set out for mani/pedis and hair dos - she turned to me and said, "So I asked the groom what you should do about the other minister and his evil eye."

"Oh good." I said. "What did he say?"

"He says - don't look at him. If you don't make eye contact... there is no problem."


See? We laughed. We would never have thought of that... and it's a great solution!

One Liners

The week before Christmas Mr. Burns and I found ourselves at my dear friend Kimberly's home in San Francisco. This is a friend I see so rarely. Four times in the past 6 years.

Mr. Burns pointed out Kimberly's refrigerator - covered in photos of friends and family - with one HUGE picture of ME!

Seriously.
It was an 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper of just my head! My head from a photo of myself and Mr. Burns. It looked like Mr. Burns didn't make the cut.
We took turns speculating about this giant picture of me... that perhaps Mr. Burns hadn't graduated to the friends and family shrine since Kimberly hadn't met him yet.

When Kimberly entered the kitchen, in my best mockingly accusatory tone I asked her what she was thinking posting such an enormous picture of my head on her fridge.

Her answer. "I hit Print and that's what came out."

My Christmas List

Borrowing this idea from katietimothy.blogspot.com

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

Wrapping paper. I love to crisscross corresponding ribbons into neat little bows on top. I do keep gift bags on hand for presents outside of the Christmas season.

2. Real tree or Artificial?

I love a real tree, but I have an artificial now because my place is so small. Someday when I have a house, I'm definately going back to the real thing.

3. When do you put up the tree?

December 8th. The Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Mom always did this... mainly I think because we had the day off of school every year and she could get lots of help from the kids!

4. When do you take the tree down?

January 5th - The Feast of Epiphany. When the wise men reach the Christ Child. In the Catholic calendar, Epiphany marks the end of the Christmas Season.

5. Do you like eggnog?

Not particularly. Plus I'm allergic to eggs so I have a great excuse not to partake!

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

Hmm. That's a tough one. But I do remember being very small and out Christmas shopping with Mom. We were in Rexall Drug and I spotted this HUGE Pooh Bear. (remember this had to be about 1975) I don't think I really desired the bear, but I was overwhelmed by it's size. I retrospect it wasn't THAT big... 2 -3 feet tall, I suppose. I pulled on Mom's arm and said, "Wow, look at that Pooh Bear!" She was noticably uncomfortable as she acknowledged it and pulled my attention elsewhere. On Christmas Morning, I found a huge Winnie the Pooh under the tree.

Funny that memory stood out... and years later I realized why mom was uncomfortable. He was probably already in the secret hiding place and she didn't want to blow her cover!

7. Do you have a nativity scene?

Yes. When my mom and dad were visiting we were milling around some estate sales/ yard sales and stopped at a church sale. Mom pointed out a nativity set just like the one I grew up with... same stable and everything - I paid $10!. The figures are Papier Mache`. I smooshed quite a few of them as a child! It's a little mismatched but reminds me of my childhood!
I saw the most beautiful manger scene for sale the other day... carved of wood and imported from Italy... with a $1200 price tag! That's a lot of stays at an Inn!

8. Hardest person to buy for?

Hmmm. My Brother probably. I think I've hit the mark with him ONCE.... when I got him a tripod for his video camera.

9. Easiest person to buy for?

Dad. He doesn't want anything, doesn't need anything. I get him something warm and a jar of nuts!

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?

Hmmm, I'd prefer to do cards (if I actually did them). And oddly, I love getting those newsletters from friends and family. Last year a couple of my relatives skipped the newsletters and I was so sad!

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

Hate to say it but anything from my SIL's mom! I wish she didn't love buying gifts so much... I don't understand why I'm on her list - I barely know her! Last year it was a huge talking Easter Bunny! If I had a house with a porch, and children to entertain, it wouldn't be so bad. Or even if I had a basement to store it! I have none of those things! When getting a gift for someone who lives in a 700 sq foot condo... don't give them something that requires 11 months of storage! Get them something consumable!

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?

Is this debateable? It's a Wonderful Life. Best movie ever! The film is flawless. love it!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

I did great this year... I started in October. I have one left to get... since I have to get them all in the mail by the end of the weekend. We're going to San Fran on the 15th. Otherwise, I start picking things up in about August... and go until the week before. I really want to stop the gift giving. Buy less. Give more. - my new Christmas goal.

14. Ever recycled a Christmas present?

Sure. Only once or twice.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Oh, Mom used to make this Almond Bark. Oh yeah. Better get that recipe one of these years.


16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?

Clear. Someday I want to buy sets of Red, Green and White... and then combine them so there is red green and white alternating on each strand. Then I'll make them blink.

17. Favorite Christmas song?

Oh Holy Night. Still looking for the best rendition of it. I also love The Peace Carol and When the River Meets the Sea from John Denver and The Muppets, a Christmas Together.
Then, to ring in the new year.... What are you doing New Year's Eve... Harry Conick Jr does it best!

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

I've traveled EVERY YEAR for Christmas. This year will be my first staying where I live! Can't wait!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?

Maybe after a few glasses of wine and a few tries!!

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?

Star. Still haven't found the right one, so currently nothing.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?

Our family exchanges gifts Christmas Eve. Then Santa's gifts are discovered in the morning... then extended family exchanges on Christmas day. It's too much really!

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?

The commercialization. I think the same people who are offended by my "Merry Christmas" are the ones ensuring that everyone makes a buck on it!

23. Favorite ornament, theme, or color?

Oh. how I wish the ornaments from my childhood had survived. I loved the glass blown ornaments.. the little oblong ones with stripes. I think my mom has very few survivors.
I have Pooh Bear and Tigger ornaments from Hallmark.... And snowmen! Lots of fat round chubby snow men!

24. What do you want for Christmas this year?

To feel the presence of Christ. To experience the miracle and wonder like I did as a child.

A Mighty Good Man

With just a few minutes left before closing time, I started to turn down the lights in the portrait studio. Then I went into the camera rooms to tidy up and shut down the computers.

From inside the small room, I heard someone approach the counter. Dread. I just wanted to close up and get out of there and didn't really feel like dealing with a customer.
I screwed on my smiley face and went back out. Seeing the form of a man, I concluded that it was probably a dad coming to pick up the portraits his wife had ordered.

I glanced at the guy and thought, "He's kinda cute." Then he turned to face me... it was my boyfriend! He'd come to surprise me!

He'd been away for ten days over Thanksgiving, then we saw each other for one evening before he had to leave again on a work trip. He'd been so busy I didn't even expect to see him until tomorrow evening.

I just love that he surprised me! Sometimes I think I'm the only person I know who loves surprises... and no one ever surprises me!

Good job Mr. Burns. Isn't it nice to have a girl who is so easy to please?!

The Difference Between Men and Women

Still on my date with JR, the quiet and intense man trying to woo me.

We enjoyed plenty of conversation over dinner. An Air Force pilot, he told me about a problem he was experiencing with another pilot.

A little background, this all occured during the first year that women combat pilots were joining the men. I knew a couple of these women and considered some of them friends.

JR told me about one woman (the one I didn't know well) who was annoying not only him, but the other pilots as well. "She won't shut up." he said. He explained how in the plane, they all wear headsets to channel communication because the plane is so loud. Typically, the pilots only speak over the headsets deliberately... to convey information... or to make a quick joke.

"But she's constantly talking on the headset. 'Ooh, look at that cloud!' It's making us all nuts!"

I mulled this over for a minute and I thought I could relate to this woman in some way.
I told him, "You know, I think I understand what's happening. She's one of a few women breaking into male territory. She wants to fit in. It sounds like she's going about it wrong, but understand that when women are uncomfortable silence is even more uncomfortable. If we're in a car with you and you're not talking... we assume you're mad at us. So considering her position... the silence is stressful for her and she has a need to fill it."

He sat silently and considered what I had to say. Finally, he said, "That makes sense. Thank you. At least now I know why she's doing it, so maybe it won't bother me as much."

Hmmm. Interesting. We went on to enjoy our meal, our wine and had a great time.

When we got back to his car for the 40 minute drive back to town, we continued to talk and had plenty to talk about. I remember thinking to myself, "Wow. For a guy who doesn't talk much - this is going really well." As I finished that thought... and became conscious again of the atmosphere in the car... there was a lull. Internally, I panicked a little bit - thinking about our dinner conversation. Oh no.

At that very moment, he broke the silence again. "I just want you know... " he said, "I'm not mad at you."

That's when I burst into laughter.

Back to Storytime.

When the very smart but quiet and intense man asked me out, See the Jeckyl and Hyde post below. He took me out to the nicest restaurant around, a clear attempt to impress me. This meant a 40 minute drive to another tiny town to the restaurant owned by a national celebrity who made a movie in the area years before. (sorry I'm not being specific about where I lived.)

This place was the one restaurant in the area with a grand reputation - everyone talked about going there. A married woman that I worked with was envious because I ended up going there a handful of times with different dates and her husband had not taken her there ONCE!!

So, expectations are high. This place is grand. We get there relatively early and the place is nearly empty.

The maitre’ de seated us right at the front of the room where there was bound to be a flow of patrons breezing passed us all evening. I was disappointed. Not cool for a first date. I knew it wasn't a great table but I didn't say anything.
On one hand, sure we were young and perhaps they wanted to save the better tables for more impressive couples... but it couldn't be less romantic!

We sat down and starting looking at menus. JR's face turned hard and I could tell something was wrong. I gently asked and he said, "This is a lousy table."
He got up, went straight to the maitre de and spoke quietly.

We were quickly whisked away to an intimate table in a dark corner.
I knew I was dealing with a guy who knew quality and how to get it. Yeah. That impressed me.

Keep Christmas Well

There is a line in 'A Christmas Carol' when Scrooge visits his revised Christmas Future (if I remember right) in which his niece tells the gathered guests with pride... "Mr. Scrooge keeps Christmas well."

The last time I saw the movie that line struck me. So much so that my eyes welled with tears. It was another sign to me that I have to make changes in the way I celebrate Christmas. (see posts below - Nov 2 and Jan 8) It helped to identify my need to keep the true spirit of Christmas. I want to keep Christmas well.

This year I want to experience the sacred wonder of Christmas - even if I don't have children.

After Mass this Sunday, I'm really looking forward to it!

Mr. Burns and I went to his church on Sunday. There was a group selling religious items in the back of church after Mass. On their table I spotted an advent wreath/ candle holder that fit the requirements I've been trying to meet for years! Simple, small, traditional.

Of course this was the ONE time I went to church without my purse so I asked Mr. Burns if he would buy it and I would pay him back once we got home. He agreed, and we also picked out some taper candles and prayer booklets to go with it.

I was so pleased! Another step toward starting Christmas preparations and my own traditions.

As we walked out of church he handed me the bag and said, "There you go. That's your Christmas present."

"No, no. You don't have to do that. I'm paying you back when we get home." I said.

"No. This is your Christmas present. You're not getting anything else." He smiled.

Suddenly I was filled with joy, as I realized that I just received something very special. If Mr. Burns and I do end up together... each Christmas we'll bring out the Advent wreath that he got for me when we were dating.

Not quite Jeckell and Hyde

Ever meet one of those guys that you instantly dislike? And then end up dating him?

When I met JR, he immediately took to berating my career field. He was smart, and did a fine job of knocking my profession down a few pegs before I decided to stop our conversation and go talk to someone else.

It was probably a year later that I found myself at a dinner party where we were both guests. The entire party was a lively bunch... everyone telling stories, trying to earn a laugh. I noticed that JR was rather quiet. But when he did open his mouth, the few words that came out were carefully chosen and hilarious.

A few months later the same group was together on New Year's Eve. This time I found myself playing pool with him, and a mild flirtation developed.

After the clock struck midnight, breakfast preparations began in the kitchen and by the time we were eating our pancakes JR looked at me seriously and said... "What do you think about someone who talks to you over a meal and puncuates their conversation by pointing their fork at you?" I replied, "They're horrible and rude."
He turned back to his plate, moved some food around and then looked me in the eye and said, "That was my way of asking you out... in case you didn't catch that."

"Actually, I missed it entirely. I'm glad you clarified."

"Well, I'd like to take you out to dinner. But sometimes I don't talk much, so I'm worried about how that would go."

"It couldn't be too bad. Worst case scenario, I point at you and laugh."

He smiled. "Good. I'll have to call you."

Memory Lane

I originally started this blog after many disappointing years of single life. Not to say that all the years were disappointing… heavens no. Just the single part. Okay, that should be “Years of disappointing single life.” Better.

In fact, it was because I dated so many fascinating guys (rarely more than a date or two… month or two at most) and I had so many funny stories from these experiences… I felt they should be saved for posterity.

Many of my friends think my dating stories should fill a book. Guess I'll let you be the judge!

Well, soon after I started the blog – life got a little extra complicated. Then I picked it back up again about a year ago.

A few months after that God gave me a big surprise and introduced me to someone very special. I just can’t believe how beautiful, and easy, and wonderful this relationship is. What a blessing!

It feels strange to tell too much about the great Mr. Burns. (his pseudonym – obviously) So I think I’ll try to share some of those old dating stories – when I can remember them.
Meeting a truly fabulous guy tends to wipe out the memories of the inconsequential ones.

Food fit for a dame

In all those years of dating… many men have been impressed with the fact that I eat. Really eat… even on a date. A real meat and potatoes girl. Hardly ever a salad for me. I was never embarrassed to order a big steak, consume the whole dish and never even have to take leftovers home!
Of course I was younger then and somehow able to stay thin and svelte. That may be part of why they were impressed.

A few dates in with Joe, we went to a little chain restaurant one night after we both got off work. I ordered the lemon chicken. It came on a bed of angel hair pasta. It was tasty, but I joked to him that it was one measly chicken breast. If the palm of your hand is supposed be a serving… this bird had some catching up to do.

After I wolfed my ‘meal’ down it was as if I hadn’t.
I must have stared at my empty plate woefully because Joe said, “If you’re still hungry, get something else.”
“Should I?” I hated to appear greedy. And even being a girl who eats… two entrees? Can I do that?

When the waiter slipped by, Joe asked for another menu. He had no problem with my appetite.
Of course the waiter assumed the menu was for Joe. When he came back and I ordered my second dish, he was stunned! I was mortified at the time, but my date was beaming… look at the girl eat!

Yeah... that plate was empty too.

Romantic Gestures

What constitutes a romantic gesture in a relationship?
Something out of the ordinary? Going out of your way to do something you wouldn't mind doing anyway?


It seems something as simple as going to watch his flag football game was enough to earn points as a romantic gesture in his book. Mr. Burns was impressed just that I showed up. It had him smiling sweetly at me all day.

I think maybe I fail to see the little things he does as romantic gestures. I'm not really looking for them... what I would consider romantic are things he's just not going to think of. (Just as I had no idea that showing up for his game was going to have the impact that it did.)


A couple weeks ago when I showed up at his house, Mr. Burns said he had something special to share with me. He opened the fridge and displayed a fresh pomegranate!


I was a bit bewildered as to why this was special... outside of the fact that we're both Midwesterners living in a mountain state - so that makes a pomegranate an exotic fruit. This was a romantic gesture. And as soon as I understood that, I saw just how sweet it was.


Problem was we had no idea what to do with it. I cut it open and we just sat there and stared at it.
I eventually managed to squeeze 3 tablespoons of juice out of it!

He just wanted to share a new experience with me. Here is something I know nothing about... let's figure it out together.
I think that manner of thinking bodes well for the future!

I'm not the Only One!

Christmas is going to be different this year. For the first time in years, I want it to be the sort of Christmas that is truly celebrated as a time of Peace, Joy and Love.

Instead, for the past few years the holiday has felt like nothing more than a deadline to me. That's not how I want to celebrate.
I feel like I'm missing the true meaning of Christmas which is the celebration of the birth our Savior.

Sometimes I envy those with children, because passing on the traditions, the stories and the experiences must help to keep the wonder alive.

Without children, this is what my Christmas looks like...
I just run around for weeks buying gifts for family that I rarely see, (most likely buying them things they don't really want) pile everything into the car, drive for 10-12 hours through midwest winter roads, open gifts and drive back. It's a crazy rush, and it's always a let-down.

Today http://girlfromflorida.blogspot.com/ addressed the issue too:
"We are trying to figure out our holiday plans. My in-laws keep dropping hints, but to be honest, we just don't have the money to fly up there. It just really pisses me off that everyone expects US to travel to THEM. "

Amen sister!
Since I'm the only one in a different state... I'm the one expected to save my ONE WEEK OF VACATION (or one of the two weeks I get now) for the entire year - to drive across a state or two so I can be home with the people who are self-employed (and therefore don't have to give up vacation time) I have never EVER celebrated Christmas at my own home. Or at my own church. No member of my family has ever come to see ME for Christmas!

So this year, I'm not going home for Christmas. I'm not doing it to be stubborn, or to prove a point. No, really.
Just once, I want to celebrate Christmas where I live... instead of rushing to be somewhere else.
I've invited the family to come out here - but that is somehow ridiculous. They won't even consider it.

Last year, when I took my tree and decorations down on the Feast of the Epiphany - it seemed so strange that I even bothered. (see - Shelving the Future - post below) No one even saw my tree - but me. And that's when it hit me. Christmas is supposed to be shared. But I don't have a child, or a husband. Am I supposed to put off truly celebrating the miracle of Christmas until I do have a family?
I don't think so.

I just want to sit in the dark and stare at my Christmas tree lights in silence. I want to go to Midnight Mass. (The family back home goes to the 5:30pm Children's Mass - listening to same horrible, bastardized 'holiday' songs they've been butchering since I was in the youth choir. Ugh and Shudder!)
I want to pour a glass of wine and stare out the window at the new fallen snow, search the sky for the brightest star and feel the Lord surround me with his love. The Son of God made flesh to dwell with us here on earth.
I want to really contemplete the meaning of Christmas - instead of dwelling in the ruckus of my brother's kid's and their friends tearing open presents in a greedy rush.

So this year, I'm embracing my excuse - Mr. Burns and I are flying out to San Fran for my dear friend's wedding on Dec 17th. He's using the last bit of his vacation days to go with me. His family gets together for Thanksgiving, and he stays here for Christmas anyway.

Last year, I prayed for someone with whom to share the joy of Christmas... and I feel that God has answered that prayer.

So when I broke the news to Mom - I explained that we'd just be getting back from a trip when I would be jumping in the car to drive to Nebraska and instead of rushing like that, I would just stay in Denver for Christmas. I also leaned on the expense of two trips - excuse.
I expected a cryfest - but she surprised me by saying, "Yes. You should stay and have Christmas with Mr. Burns."

Yeah... she's just thrilled that I finally have a boyfriend!!
I was surprised and thrilled that we didn't have to have a drag-out fight about it.

A few weeks later I was talking with my 17-year old niece. She asked if I would be home for Thanksgiving. I asked if Grandma told her about Christmas. No. What?

Well, Mom and Dad understand but my niece is mad at me. I'm messing with her 'tradition'. She has no idea how much our tradition has changed. Her dad (my brother) is responsible for most of the changes that ruined my tradition.

My new tradition... takes a line or two from the the song Colorado Christmas by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.
"The closest thing to heaven on this planet anywhere
Is a quiet christmas morning in the Colorado snow"

This year, I want to experience that for myself.

Yeah, like I said...

This second job has become way more trouble than it's worth.

As I was explaining the latest point of drama to Mr. Burns he reiterated his position, "I really think you should quit. I hate for you to be miserable."

"I know," I replied. "I will. But I kind of enjoy complaining about it."

"Yes. Like I said, you really need to quit."

Or - he's in trouble with his wife

Just one of the many hilarious quotes found on http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

No More Montessori School for You, Young Lady

Mom - about man on train with flowers: Awww, he has flowers. They're probably for his girlfriend.
Eight-year-old daughter: Mom, you never know! They could be for a boy.
--LIRR