My best friend got married in 2002. Oh did she look beautiful! I never saw anyone smile so broadly as she did when she came down the aisle. It was a glorious day.
In the years since then, prior to my meeting Mr. Burns… she would get so excited every time I had a date. If I actually liked the guy enough for a second date or more she would wistfully say, “Oh, I miss dating. Dating was so much fun.”
This annoyed me to no end. Dating is NOT fun.
It’s tedious.
It’s a chore.
It’s worse than a job interview except it’s supposed to be fun.
It’s a job.
It sucks.
I hate dating.
You obviously don’t remember what dating was like if you recall it as fun.
Setting yourself up for dinner and disappointment every week or two is no joy. When you are in your 30s, you rarely expect a date to go well. It’s just an exercise. Cleaning the bathtub is more rewarding than another first date.
Then I met Mr. Burns, and I finally experienced the wonder and thrill of waiting anxiously to see him again. Expecting his phone call – then hearing his voice on the other end of the line. Learning what he enjoyed. Hearing about his childhood and growing up stories. Recognizing the sound of his car alarm being armed when he parked on my street and I knew he was about to buzz my apartment. So exciting!
When I shared these little thrills with Best Friend she said, “See, I miss dating. Dating was so much fun.”
Oh. This is what you were talking about!
All this time I thought you were talking about the tedium of dating and it just ticked me off when you said that!
Yeah. Dating someone with potential is fun.
Searching through all of those men, looking for potential – sucks. Wasting an evening with a guy – who it turns out – is going to expect you to sleep with him on your next date – even though the connection between you, if any, is weak – lousy.
Over the past year and a half, I have counted how lucky I am not being out there. Mr. Burns and I would turn to each other and say. “I hate dating. I’m so glad I don’t have to do that.” Of course I was thinking “…anymore.”
I had hoped to God that I wouldn’t have to date anymore. Ever.
I know I have mentioned a couple times that I think our relationship is nearly over. I haven’t been able to actually break up just yet.
Part of it is dread that I’ll have to eventually start ‘dating’ again. Ugh.
Part of it is… as I share concerns with him – he is really trying. He’s making a real effort.
But if I don’t see that excitement of ‘having me’ of knowing that I am in his life for good and he’s thrilled by the thought of it – I have to get out. I just don’t think either of us should have to try that hard.
I just can’t bear dating again. The thought of it is worse than any pain or agony of breaking up with this wonderful man in my life
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Friday, July 04, 2008
The Buddy System
I had decided when I was 12 that I didn't want to get married before I was at least 27.
My teen years were during the Big 80s. Women had careers. Movies like Baby Boom (Diane Keaton) reinforced the career now - babies later philosophy.
That was my plan. Start the career. Know myself as an adult. Then get married and have kids.
So when I turned 27, I was stunned that the man wasn't already in the scene. I was supposed to date him for a while then get married and have my first kid by age 30.
So when I turned 30 I was really surprised there was no man at the ready.
By 35 I really started to worry. I remember telling my older cousin (old enough to be my parent) that I was worried I might not get married in time to have kids. She scoffed and said, "Well, unless you want to have a kid without a husband there's no sense wasting energy worrying about it."
Okay. So I came to terms with the thought of never having children.
That lasted about a year. Then one day the thought hit me. If I never have kids, I'll never have grandkids... and that's not OKAY! I don't want to become an old woman who has no one to come visit her in the nursing home.
More panic.
Over the years, I sort of settled into the idea that I'll just be alone. Even though I continued to pray and pray for God to make one man (any man - whoever He had in store) ready to become my husband.
Nothing.
Then I prayed from a different place in my heart. Asking God if he didn't have a husband for me - could I at least have a boyfriend?
I realized that I was still asking for something pretty special. This boyfriend would have to be a good man of faith. Someone who realized that sex is for marriage. Someone who could be ideal for a husband - even if a husband wasn't in God's plan for me.
Careful what you pray for.
The hardest part is... I had accepted that I may never get married. Never have kids.
Then I met Mr. Burns and my thinking changed. My thoughts turned to the possibility - maybe just maybe - marriage and family would be for me.
Maybe I was worthy enough to be rewarded with a family of my own.
All the while I remembered the deal I made with God. If there is no husband, a boyfriend. Please.
But then, with Mr. Burns as my boyfriend, I could picture my possible family album. A wedding. A marriage. Months of trying to concieve. Becoming a 40 year old pregnant woman! Good thing I'm still mistaken for a 29 year old! I can picture having a family. Me. A mom!
But now Mr. Burns is proving to be the boyfriend I prayed for. Not the husband. I have to be ready to let go.
Now I have to accept all over again that God wants me to be alone.
Just me and God. A pretty good team. No question.
But for a while there I really, really believed that I might just get it all.
Or at least part of what God seems so eager to hand everyone else.
What plan can He possibly have for me that requires me to be alone?
Let's not even mention the career situation. I can just barely support myself... there's no way I can adopt on my own or even be a foster parent. And I really can't see myself trying to raise a kid without the support of a loving husband.
What on Earth is His plan?!!!
My teen years were during the Big 80s. Women had careers. Movies like Baby Boom (Diane Keaton) reinforced the career now - babies later philosophy.
That was my plan. Start the career. Know myself as an adult. Then get married and have kids.
So when I turned 27, I was stunned that the man wasn't already in the scene. I was supposed to date him for a while then get married and have my first kid by age 30.
So when I turned 30 I was really surprised there was no man at the ready.
By 35 I really started to worry. I remember telling my older cousin (old enough to be my parent) that I was worried I might not get married in time to have kids. She scoffed and said, "Well, unless you want to have a kid without a husband there's no sense wasting energy worrying about it."
Okay. So I came to terms with the thought of never having children.
That lasted about a year. Then one day the thought hit me. If I never have kids, I'll never have grandkids... and that's not OKAY! I don't want to become an old woman who has no one to come visit her in the nursing home.
More panic.
Over the years, I sort of settled into the idea that I'll just be alone. Even though I continued to pray and pray for God to make one man (any man - whoever He had in store) ready to become my husband.
Nothing.
Then I prayed from a different place in my heart. Asking God if he didn't have a husband for me - could I at least have a boyfriend?
I realized that I was still asking for something pretty special. This boyfriend would have to be a good man of faith. Someone who realized that sex is for marriage. Someone who could be ideal for a husband - even if a husband wasn't in God's plan for me.
Careful what you pray for.
The hardest part is... I had accepted that I may never get married. Never have kids.
Then I met Mr. Burns and my thinking changed. My thoughts turned to the possibility - maybe just maybe - marriage and family would be for me.
Maybe I was worthy enough to be rewarded with a family of my own.
All the while I remembered the deal I made with God. If there is no husband, a boyfriend. Please.
But then, with Mr. Burns as my boyfriend, I could picture my possible family album. A wedding. A marriage. Months of trying to concieve. Becoming a 40 year old pregnant woman! Good thing I'm still mistaken for a 29 year old! I can picture having a family. Me. A mom!
But now Mr. Burns is proving to be the boyfriend I prayed for. Not the husband. I have to be ready to let go.
Now I have to accept all over again that God wants me to be alone.
Just me and God. A pretty good team. No question.
But for a while there I really, really believed that I might just get it all.
Or at least part of what God seems so eager to hand everyone else.
What plan can He possibly have for me that requires me to be alone?
Let's not even mention the career situation. I can just barely support myself... there's no way I can adopt on my own or even be a foster parent. And I really can't see myself trying to raise a kid without the support of a loving husband.
What on Earth is His plan?!!!
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
In Case of Fire
Please don't be offended if it seems like I'm talking down to you...
But do you know what to do when you hear sirens? We're all grown up drivers now - but it seems many people don't know what to do when a fire truck or ambulance is on it's way to a call.
It's easy to remember - Go Right For Sirens and Lights!
I'm bringing this up because of recent reports that Denver emergency vehicles are consistently losing 4 Minutes en route to their calls because drivers are not clearing a path.
4 minutes is life-changing! What if you were the one waiting for help?
Let's go over this again.... go right for sirens and lights.
Get in the right lane. Clear the center lane for the emergency vehicle to pass.
I live just four blocks from a fire station - and at least once a week I see an emergency vehicle trying to get through and no one is getting over!
If you are the first at a stop light... and hear sirens... unable to identify where they are coming from just yet..... stay stopped when the light turns green!!! Wait to see where the emergency vehicle needs to go so you can help to keep the path clear. If you are the first car in the left, center most lane... pull ahead past the intersection, get into the right lane and STOP! Be an example!
I figure just posting this here might be enough to get people to mention it to their friends and family and get the phrase fresh in every one's heads, no matter where you live. The life you save could be your own.
While I'm on my soapbox - does Stop - Drop and Roll ring a bell?
I've seen two videos in the last month in which some one's clothes caught fire and they ran around like maniacs.... people swatting at them but no one remembering to smother the flames.
Exhibit A if you will.... http://www.break.com/index/bride-catches-fire.html (it's a Quincenara, not a wedding ... but that doesn't matter)
A rerun of Oprah today featured a woman who was set afire by her abusive husband and while the abuse itself is horrific - one can't help but think that some of the terrible pain and recovery could have been avoided if someone around her had remembered Stop. Drop. Roll.
http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200605/tows_past_20060503.jhtml
I don't mean to make light of any one's suffering. I want so badly to ensure that more suffering might be avoided.
Get these messages in your head. In your loved one's heads. Teach your kids, your nieces and nephews.
Is this no longer being taught? And if not, why?
She steps off soapbox.
But do you know what to do when you hear sirens? We're all grown up drivers now - but it seems many people don't know what to do when a fire truck or ambulance is on it's way to a call.
It's easy to remember - Go Right For Sirens and Lights!
I'm bringing this up because of recent reports that Denver emergency vehicles are consistently losing 4 Minutes en route to their calls because drivers are not clearing a path.
4 minutes is life-changing! What if you were the one waiting for help?
Let's go over this again.... go right for sirens and lights.
Get in the right lane. Clear the center lane for the emergency vehicle to pass.
I live just four blocks from a fire station - and at least once a week I see an emergency vehicle trying to get through and no one is getting over!
If you are the first at a stop light... and hear sirens... unable to identify where they are coming from just yet..... stay stopped when the light turns green!!! Wait to see where the emergency vehicle needs to go so you can help to keep the path clear. If you are the first car in the left, center most lane... pull ahead past the intersection, get into the right lane and STOP! Be an example!
I figure just posting this here might be enough to get people to mention it to their friends and family and get the phrase fresh in every one's heads, no matter where you live. The life you save could be your own.
While I'm on my soapbox - does Stop - Drop and Roll ring a bell?
I've seen two videos in the last month in which some one's clothes caught fire and they ran around like maniacs.... people swatting at them but no one remembering to smother the flames.
Exhibit A if you will.... http://www.break.com/index/bride-catches-fire.html (it's a Quincenara, not a wedding ... but that doesn't matter)
A rerun of Oprah today featured a woman who was set afire by her abusive husband and while the abuse itself is horrific - one can't help but think that some of the terrible pain and recovery could have been avoided if someone around her had remembered Stop. Drop. Roll.
http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200605/tows_past_20060503.jhtml
I don't mean to make light of any one's suffering. I want so badly to ensure that more suffering might be avoided.
Get these messages in your head. In your loved one's heads. Teach your kids, your nieces and nephews.
Is this no longer being taught? And if not, why?
She steps off soapbox.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Best Mom in the World!
I got a card from my parents the day after my birthday.
Mom told me that she had it all set to go to arrive on my birthday - Dad was supposed to mail it while she was at work.
Turns out, Dad set it on top of the fridge when he stopped to put his shoes on, then forgot that he was headed to the mailbox in the first place!
It's hilarious how they tattle on each other!
So I knew the card would be a day late - but imagine my surprise when I open the card and out falls a check for the full amount of the cost of the photography class I told mom I wanted to take!! They are so sweet!
I also want to share the card with you all.
It's sweet, and a good reminder for all of us... or if you have children - these are great lessons to raise them on.
Daughter,
Ten Things To Keep In Mind
(to make your life better)
1) Trust Your Instincts.
If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't... fun, tempting... maybe, but not right.
2) Remember Your Manners.
It doesn't cost you anything, but it speaks volumes about who you are. Having class starts with this.
3) Never let possessions "OWN" you.
It's just stuff! The most valuable things in life - friends, respect, love, knowledge - don't cost money... Hokey but true.
4) Nurture your friendships.
The investment you make in true friends will pay huge dividends all your life - remember, you can't make an old friend.
5) Keep your hands clean.
This means both literally and figuratively... it will save you a lot of regrets later.
6) Believe in yourself.
Yeah this is another hokey one, but you do happen to be the only you in existence, and you're also the only person in the world who can truly hold you back in life... Think about it.
7) Be grateful.
Don't waste all your todays in anticipation of some grand tomorrow. Now is all we've got. Live in it!
8) Treat others the way you want to be treated.
(okay, so I didn't make this one up.) The point is, just because you're smarter or richer or prettier than someone else doesn't mean you're better. It just means you've been more blessed.
9) Always keep playing.
Who says adults have to give up toys? Keep the little kid inside you alive... it keeps your imagination primed. Silly is good.
10) No matter what, you will always be loved.
You don't have to test this one... Just carry it around in your back pocket, and know that, no matter what, you can always come home.
If you can only remember one - Remember that you are loved.
Mom told me that she had it all set to go to arrive on my birthday - Dad was supposed to mail it while she was at work.
Turns out, Dad set it on top of the fridge when he stopped to put his shoes on, then forgot that he was headed to the mailbox in the first place!
It's hilarious how they tattle on each other!
So I knew the card would be a day late - but imagine my surprise when I open the card and out falls a check for the full amount of the cost of the photography class I told mom I wanted to take!! They are so sweet!
I also want to share the card with you all.
It's sweet, and a good reminder for all of us... or if you have children - these are great lessons to raise them on.
Daughter,
Ten Things To Keep In Mind
(to make your life better)
1) Trust Your Instincts.
If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't... fun, tempting... maybe, but not right.
2) Remember Your Manners.
It doesn't cost you anything, but it speaks volumes about who you are. Having class starts with this.
3) Never let possessions "OWN" you.
It's just stuff! The most valuable things in life - friends, respect, love, knowledge - don't cost money... Hokey but true.
4) Nurture your friendships.
The investment you make in true friends will pay huge dividends all your life - remember, you can't make an old friend.
5) Keep your hands clean.
This means both literally and figuratively... it will save you a lot of regrets later.
6) Believe in yourself.
Yeah this is another hokey one, but you do happen to be the only you in existence, and you're also the only person in the world who can truly hold you back in life... Think about it.
7) Be grateful.
Don't waste all your todays in anticipation of some grand tomorrow. Now is all we've got. Live in it!
8) Treat others the way you want to be treated.
(okay, so I didn't make this one up.) The point is, just because you're smarter or richer or prettier than someone else doesn't mean you're better. It just means you've been more blessed.
9) Always keep playing.
Who says adults have to give up toys? Keep the little kid inside you alive... it keeps your imagination primed. Silly is good.
10) No matter what, you will always be loved.
You don't have to test this one... Just carry it around in your back pocket, and know that, no matter what, you can always come home.
If you can only remember one - Remember that you are loved.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
It's My Birthday!
I'm old.
and still single... just as the title of my blog suggests.
Start the annoying music!
Update:
So fun when various friends call all day to extend warm birthday greetings! Two of them always sing me Happy Birthday over the phone! I love that!
Then Mr. Burns came to take me out to dinner. He arrived with a bouquet of beautiful orange tulips (my favorite!)
and a neatly wrapped gift. ( I love that he can actually wrap gifts by himself and they look nice. A lot of men can't do that!) The gift was a card for a 50 minute Warm Stone Massage! Ahhhhhhh. What a man!
The man listens. My back has been really screwy lately and I've mentioned how badly I need a massage but can't really afford one given my state of employment. That's not only a generous but very thoughtful gift!
Then we went out to dinner at my favorite little Indian place... Mmmmmm! After that, as I requested, we went out for Gelato for dessert. I had a scoop each of Pomegranate and Strawberry Rhubarb. MmmmMMMmmmmMMMMmmmmm! Mr. Burns had Chocolate. Probably some sort of double chocolate mocha overdose concoction!
and now... I'm just sick. As I was tinkering with my camera's memory card trying to get a decent picture of my flowers - I accidentally wiped out the last 30 pictures of my dad's birthday party. The pictures of Mom and Dad with all the grand kids... and of Mom and Dad with me and my brother. And - the ones where Dad was dancing with my Sis-in-law and their neighbor.
How cute he looked in his cowboy hat and suspenders dancing like a fool!
Woe is me! I'm just sick about it. Wahhh.
and still single... just as the title of my blog suggests.
Start the annoying music!
Update:
So fun when various friends call all day to extend warm birthday greetings! Two of them always sing me Happy Birthday over the phone! I love that!
Then Mr. Burns came to take me out to dinner. He arrived with a bouquet of beautiful orange tulips (my favorite!)
and a neatly wrapped gift. ( I love that he can actually wrap gifts by himself and they look nice. A lot of men can't do that!) The gift was a card for a 50 minute Warm Stone Massage! Ahhhhhhh. What a man!
The man listens. My back has been really screwy lately and I've mentioned how badly I need a massage but can't really afford one given my state of employment. That's not only a generous but very thoughtful gift!
Then we went out to dinner at my favorite little Indian place... Mmmmmm! After that, as I requested, we went out for Gelato for dessert. I had a scoop each of Pomegranate and Strawberry Rhubarb. MmmmMMMmmmmMMMMmmmmm! Mr. Burns had Chocolate. Probably some sort of double chocolate mocha overdose concoction!
and now... I'm just sick. As I was tinkering with my camera's memory card trying to get a decent picture of my flowers - I accidentally wiped out the last 30 pictures of my dad's birthday party. The pictures of Mom and Dad with all the grand kids... and of Mom and Dad with me and my brother. And - the ones where Dad was dancing with my Sis-in-law and their neighbor.
How cute he looked in his cowboy hat and suspenders dancing like a fool!
Woe is me! I'm just sick about it. Wahhh.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Believable
I've been officially unemployed for the past nine months. My contract ended and the company saw a downturn. No contracts available. The company that had around 200 people working hell bent for leather last year, is now down to about 30 employees. Scary.
So, to the drama of looking for a job that meets my skills and experience - add 170 other people in town with the same specialized skills competing for the same jobs.
On the rare occasion that I get an interview, the people at the prospective company express their condolences for my past position. They know all about the company and in fact, just interviewed 8 people who have that company listed on their resume as well.
Don't expect a call.
I've been working at a part-time minimum wage job since then. Through Divine intervention, I've been able to meet my mortgage payment.
All the jobs I'm targeting seem to want current skills - technologies that weren't even around when my 1992 Bachelor's Degree was issued. Because I was steadily employed, there was no need to learn those new whiz-bang programs. They weren't even necessary in my job.
Here I am in the dust.
During this trying time I have rediscovered my love for photography. It was my first love, but I got distracted by moving pictures and sound and now I'm at the end of that career. Never made any money at it anyway.
People seem to like my photography. And at the part-time job at the portrait studio... I've learned a few tricks for baby pictures and family portraits. More importantly, I've discovered that my personality works very well to coax the best smiles and make parents happy.
I think I'm ready to take a photography class.
I've always been a natural at composition but I need some help learning the technical side. Once I'm armed with that knowledge I'd like to take my show on the road.
It's risky. There's tons of competition. I can't afford to start a studio. Can I run my own business? Scary.
Last night I shared all these concerns with my mom. My desire to strike out on my own. My fear of going to school. (I hate school) Half expecting her to say... "Can't you find a job doing _______ for _______? "
Instead she said, "I think you'd be good at that. You should try it."
You don't think I'm crazy?
"No. I believe in you."
Blink back tears.
"You've always been a hard worker. You've always done well at everything you set your mind to do. I believe in you. I always have."
Choke back tears.
It is one thing to know that your parents support you and believe in you.
It is another entirely to hear them say it aloud. With words. It's so amazing. It is in some way like hearing the voice of God reassuring you that you are on the right path.
That is one of the things I really love about my parents. They never ever even suggested that there was something I couldn't do. That something might be out of reach.
I've always been far more aware of my limits or possible limits than they have.
That is an incredible thing to be able to do for your child. To present the world as a wide open possibility.
Maybe part of that comes from their farm background. You just have to trust that you are doing the right thing with the resources you have and God will provide. They took risks, buying or selling livestock, trying a new crop, buying more land. It was all a risk but they must have always believed it would go well. And it did.
My parents are amazing.
And guess what? I'm believable.
So, to the drama of looking for a job that meets my skills and experience - add 170 other people in town with the same specialized skills competing for the same jobs.
On the rare occasion that I get an interview, the people at the prospective company express their condolences for my past position. They know all about the company and in fact, just interviewed 8 people who have that company listed on their resume as well.
Don't expect a call.
I've been working at a part-time minimum wage job since then. Through Divine intervention, I've been able to meet my mortgage payment.
All the jobs I'm targeting seem to want current skills - technologies that weren't even around when my 1992 Bachelor's Degree was issued. Because I was steadily employed, there was no need to learn those new whiz-bang programs. They weren't even necessary in my job.
Here I am in the dust.
During this trying time I have rediscovered my love for photography. It was my first love, but I got distracted by moving pictures and sound and now I'm at the end of that career. Never made any money at it anyway.
People seem to like my photography. And at the part-time job at the portrait studio... I've learned a few tricks for baby pictures and family portraits. More importantly, I've discovered that my personality works very well to coax the best smiles and make parents happy.
I think I'm ready to take a photography class.
I've always been a natural at composition but I need some help learning the technical side. Once I'm armed with that knowledge I'd like to take my show on the road.
It's risky. There's tons of competition. I can't afford to start a studio. Can I run my own business? Scary.
Last night I shared all these concerns with my mom. My desire to strike out on my own. My fear of going to school. (I hate school) Half expecting her to say... "Can't you find a job doing _______ for _______? "
Instead she said, "I think you'd be good at that. You should try it."
You don't think I'm crazy?
"No. I believe in you."
Blink back tears.
"You've always been a hard worker. You've always done well at everything you set your mind to do. I believe in you. I always have."
Choke back tears.
It is one thing to know that your parents support you and believe in you.
It is another entirely to hear them say it aloud. With words. It's so amazing. It is in some way like hearing the voice of God reassuring you that you are on the right path.
That is one of the things I really love about my parents. They never ever even suggested that there was something I couldn't do. That something might be out of reach.
I've always been far more aware of my limits or possible limits than they have.
That is an incredible thing to be able to do for your child. To present the world as a wide open possibility.
Maybe part of that comes from their farm background. You just have to trust that you are doing the right thing with the resources you have and God will provide. They took risks, buying or selling livestock, trying a new crop, buying more land. It was all a risk but they must have always believed it would go well. And it did.
My parents are amazing.
And guess what? I'm believable.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
You Gotta be Smarter Than the Box
I'm not a huge fan of most chain restaurants - I'm rarely impressed. I tend to seek out locally owned, original bistros if I have a choice.
But tonight, Mr. Burns was actually in town (He's been working on the road a lot lately) and he picked Austin's and I figured, "Meat" which was all I wanted so off we went to Austin's.
One of today's specials was a pork tenderloin with an apricot sauce or glaze. It's pretty hard to screw up pork and I love me some pig so picture a happy me.
It was all SOOOO good I couldn't believe it.
There were also plenty for leftovers which made me crazy happy. Once the waiter brought me a take-home box I told Mr. Burns, "I'm debating between finishing my mashed potatoes or saving them to take home." Ever the gentleman, Mr. Burns pointed out that he wasn't going to finish his potatoes so I had the best of both worlds! Eat his potatoes and save mine for later!
I quickly scooped my food remains in the take out box, eyeing Mr. Burns plate as if I were still starving.
The takeout box wasn't cooperating. The lid had a goofy little hinge that wouldn't line up properly - so I fumbled trying to close it. Still eyeing Mr. Burns' potatoes - I gave up and handed him the box to close so I could wolf down the last yummy morsel.
As he swiftly managed the closure, I looked at him and said, "I was bested by the box, baby."
He cracked up and said, "Some guys complain about girls who are dumber than a box of rocks. My girlfriend is dumber than the box!"
Um. Let's clarify. It's not a matter of stupidity! It's a matter of patience!
But tonight, Mr. Burns was actually in town (He's been working on the road a lot lately) and he picked Austin's and I figured, "Meat" which was all I wanted so off we went to Austin's.
One of today's specials was a pork tenderloin with an apricot sauce or glaze. It's pretty hard to screw up pork and I love me some pig so picture a happy me.
It was all SOOOO good I couldn't believe it.
There were also plenty for leftovers which made me crazy happy. Once the waiter brought me a take-home box I told Mr. Burns, "I'm debating between finishing my mashed potatoes or saving them to take home." Ever the gentleman, Mr. Burns pointed out that he wasn't going to finish his potatoes so I had the best of both worlds! Eat his potatoes and save mine for later!
I quickly scooped my food remains in the take out box, eyeing Mr. Burns plate as if I were still starving.
The takeout box wasn't cooperating. The lid had a goofy little hinge that wouldn't line up properly - so I fumbled trying to close it. Still eyeing Mr. Burns' potatoes - I gave up and handed him the box to close so I could wolf down the last yummy morsel.
As he swiftly managed the closure, I looked at him and said, "I was bested by the box, baby."
He cracked up and said, "Some guys complain about girls who are dumber than a box of rocks. My girlfriend is dumber than the box!"
Um. Let's clarify. It's not a matter of stupidity! It's a matter of patience!
Monday, June 09, 2008
Letting Strangers Run Your House?
We had a lovely brunch at my church this Sunday and I got to see many lovely friends that I rarely see these days.
During our visit, conversation turned to the prospect of renting out their homes to out-of-towners for the Democratic National Convention here in August. One couple said they had considered it and landed on: No!
Mr. Burns turned to me and said, "Baby, I could put you up for a month if you wanted to rent your place for the DNC. You should think about it."
If it hasn't been made clear on this blog - I am - for the first time since college - hard up for money. I haven't had a full-time job for 9 months and my job search is simply depressing. I've been thinking of going back to school. I always hated school.
So the idea of making ... what $3000 or so? - above a monthly mortgage payment for one month doesn't sound so bad. I checked out the DNC Lodging website today : http://www.democraticconventionhousing.com/
Do you think I:
(minus the snow of course) 700 sq ft, one bedroom, 3rd floor walk up. Only amenities a coin-op laundry room and use of the courtyard with BBQ Grill.
can compete with this?
Full amenities, swimming pools, fitness centers, yadda yadda yadda...
Even if I could - it would mean moving out some valuables (not many) clearing out a closet, and praying that these temporary renters don't ding my beautiful credenza or soil my beloved white carpet.
Would you do it?
During our visit, conversation turned to the prospect of renting out their homes to out-of-towners for the Democratic National Convention here in August. One couple said they had considered it and landed on: No!
Mr. Burns turned to me and said, "Baby, I could put you up for a month if you wanted to rent your place for the DNC. You should think about it."
If it hasn't been made clear on this blog - I am - for the first time since college - hard up for money. I haven't had a full-time job for 9 months and my job search is simply depressing. I've been thinking of going back to school. I always hated school.
So the idea of making ... what $3000 or so? - above a monthly mortgage payment for one month doesn't sound so bad. I checked out the DNC Lodging website today : http://www.democraticconventionhousing.com/
Do you think I:
(minus the snow of course) 700 sq ft, one bedroom, 3rd floor walk up. Only amenities a coin-op laundry room and use of the courtyard with BBQ Grill.
can compete with this?
Full amenities, swimming pools, fitness centers, yadda yadda yadda...
Even if I could - it would mean moving out some valuables (not many) clearing out a closet, and praying that these temporary renters don't ding my beautiful credenza or soil my beloved white carpet.
Would you do it?
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Found It!
I found my missing ring!After scouring my (messy) apartment for a day and a half - I found it on my dining room table - under Mr. Burns' car keys.
( I was holding them for him while he was out of town.)
Clearly, if my apartment had looked like this: 
at the time... it wouldn't have been missing.
Working hard this weekend to make it look like this again!!
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Plain Brown Wrapper
Mr. Burns and I are embarking in a tough time in our relationship.
Collectively, we don't know if there is a future. At the beginning, I was sure I'd finally found my man. But after a year of his uncertainty - now I too am unsure. From where I stand, it seems to come down to his inability to determine whether or not he is in love. He says he's never been there before - and I think that is the root of his problem.
I read a relationship book that I borrowed from a friend. Like most relationship books, it wasn't a whole lot of anything you hadn't figured out on your own if your eyes were open - but still good to remind you, "Ah yes, this is what works and what doesn't and why." So it is helpful from that standpoint.
Upon finishing, I asked Mr. Burns to read it. I thought it would open up some discussions.
At first he asked when he possibly had time to read it.
I apologized for the purple, cursive, flowery cover.
Then I offered to make a plain book cover for it. He laughed.
I actually did cut down a brown paper grocery bag - fashioned a cover like the ones we made in school - then wrote on the front "Plain Brown Wrapper".
I teased him that I would write, "Porn" on the cover so that he could carry it confidently in the airport. Ha! *
Well, when he landed the first day of his trip he told me he was three chapters in. He even pointed out the biggest concern that I shared from those first chapters.
This is progress! I thought. I was so pleased that he was willing to read the book. It seemed like a good step considering the let-down surrounding my visit home (see post below)
I picked Mr. Burns up from the airport last night. He started a conversation about the issues in the book! Wow!
He also said he wanted to finish the last few chapters.
Dear Lord, I was right. I knew if we could land on a common language to speak - we might get somewhere. He's better able to see things from my perspective. And in all fairness... I need to learn to see his perspective, but I need his help to show me. That too is where the book is helping.
Now I'm not saying this is some sort of magic book. All I'm saying is... beginning with our great ability and desire to communicate openly - and then adding a common language and topics to discuss - there is progress.
Most of all, I am touched by his willingness to both read the book, (how many guys would groan about THAT?!) and to discuss it. Yay.
* please do not infer in any way that I condone porn. Mr. Burns also, would never read or engage in porn. That is part of the joke.
Collectively, we don't know if there is a future. At the beginning, I was sure I'd finally found my man. But after a year of his uncertainty - now I too am unsure. From where I stand, it seems to come down to his inability to determine whether or not he is in love. He says he's never been there before - and I think that is the root of his problem.
I read a relationship book that I borrowed from a friend. Like most relationship books, it wasn't a whole lot of anything you hadn't figured out on your own if your eyes were open - but still good to remind you, "Ah yes, this is what works and what doesn't and why." So it is helpful from that standpoint.
Upon finishing, I asked Mr. Burns to read it. I thought it would open up some discussions.
At first he asked when he possibly had time to read it.
I apologized for the purple, cursive, flowery cover.
Then I offered to make a plain book cover for it. He laughed.
I actually did cut down a brown paper grocery bag - fashioned a cover like the ones we made in school - then wrote on the front "Plain Brown Wrapper".
I teased him that I would write, "Porn" on the cover so that he could carry it confidently in the airport. Ha! *
Well, when he landed the first day of his trip he told me he was three chapters in. He even pointed out the biggest concern that I shared from those first chapters.
This is progress! I thought. I was so pleased that he was willing to read the book. It seemed like a good step considering the let-down surrounding my visit home (see post below)
I picked Mr. Burns up from the airport last night. He started a conversation about the issues in the book! Wow!
He also said he wanted to finish the last few chapters.
Dear Lord, I was right. I knew if we could land on a common language to speak - we might get somewhere. He's better able to see things from my perspective. And in all fairness... I need to learn to see his perspective, but I need his help to show me. That too is where the book is helping.
Now I'm not saying this is some sort of magic book. All I'm saying is... beginning with our great ability and desire to communicate openly - and then adding a common language and topics to discuss - there is progress.
Most of all, I am touched by his willingness to both read the book, (how many guys would groan about THAT?!) and to discuss it. Yay.
* please do not infer in any way that I condone porn. Mr. Burns also, would never read or engage in porn. That is part of the joke.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Where can it be?
Every night before bed I take off my wrist watch and a little garnet ring and put them in a pewter dish. Like my habit with my keys, they never land anywhere else. Ever.
Last night I fell asleep in the living room. I woke up around 3:00 am on the living room floor! (I wasn't drunk or anything!) It took every fiber of my being to get myself up and put myself to bed. I have no idea why.
I know I didn't even stop in the bathroom to wash my face or brush my teeth!
I remember waking at some point in the early morning to take off my wrist watch as it was uncomfortable. I found it right next to me on the nightstand this morning.
Mysteriously, I cannot find my ring.
I don't remember taking it off. I thought maybe I'd find it between the sheets of my bed - indicating that I took it off sometime before the watch - but it's not there. I even emptied out the drawers of my nightstand and searched under my bed with a flashlight hoping for a glimmer of silver. Nothing.
In the living room, I ran my fingers over my shag rug. I looked under the cushions of the couch. I checked inside the medicine cabinet in the bathroom - in case I took it off while I brushed my teeth which I don't remember doing.
It's not valuable. It's just a simple little ring that I bought for $7 ten years ago. I wear it on my right hand, ring finger. It's not even special.
I'm not much of a jewlery person - it just so happens that this is the only ring I've ever had that hasn't lost a stone, tarnished or gotten lost - until now.
It's the only ring that I think looks decent on my hands that hasn't lost a stone, tarnished or gotten lost - until now.
No. It's not valuable. But for ten years I've recieved countless compliments on it's simple beauty. And my right hand feels naked without it.
Maybe it is special.
Last night I fell asleep in the living room. I woke up around 3:00 am on the living room floor! (I wasn't drunk or anything!) It took every fiber of my being to get myself up and put myself to bed. I have no idea why.
I know I didn't even stop in the bathroom to wash my face or brush my teeth!
I remember waking at some point in the early morning to take off my wrist watch as it was uncomfortable. I found it right next to me on the nightstand this morning.
Mysteriously, I cannot find my ring.
I don't remember taking it off. I thought maybe I'd find it between the sheets of my bed - indicating that I took it off sometime before the watch - but it's not there. I even emptied out the drawers of my nightstand and searched under my bed with a flashlight hoping for a glimmer of silver. Nothing.
In the living room, I ran my fingers over my shag rug. I looked under the cushions of the couch. I checked inside the medicine cabinet in the bathroom - in case I took it off while I brushed my teeth which I don't remember doing.
It's not valuable. It's just a simple little ring that I bought for $7 ten years ago. I wear it on my right hand, ring finger. It's not even special.
I'm not much of a jewlery person - it just so happens that this is the only ring I've ever had that hasn't lost a stone, tarnished or gotten lost - until now.
It's the only ring that I think looks decent on my hands that hasn't lost a stone, tarnished or gotten lost - until now.
No. It's not valuable. But for ten years I've recieved countless compliments on it's simple beauty. And my right hand feels naked without it.
Maybe it is special.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Not in MY House
As we were driving to Mr. Burns' favorite Chinese Restaurant last night, we found ourselves behind a small pickup truck.
Its' tiny cargo bed was laden with a huge big screen TV. Mind you, not a nice new large flatscreen - no - one of those big boxy TVs, taller than I - nearly as wide and deep as it is tall.
The kind that is like having a queen size bed standing on end in your living room.
I turned to Mr. Burns and said, "Somewhere, a few blocks away you just know there's a woman standing in the doorway saying 'That thing is NOT coming inside this house!' "
Its' tiny cargo bed was laden with a huge big screen TV. Mind you, not a nice new large flatscreen - no - one of those big boxy TVs, taller than I - nearly as wide and deep as it is tall.
The kind that is like having a queen size bed standing on end in your living room.
I turned to Mr. Burns and said, "Somewhere, a few blocks away you just know there's a woman standing in the doorway saying 'That thing is NOT coming inside this house!' "
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Rough Ride
I've had the same mountain bike for 17 years. The entire time, I've only ridden it on city streets and paved bike trails.
Today, I took the baby to a mountain for the first time!!
I am so terribly out of shape. I pushed my bike up the trails most of the way. Mr. Burns is much stronger and would ride ahead a bit, then wait for me to catch up with my bike. On the positive side, pushing my bike made it a full body workout rather than just cardio and legs!
I've never ridden single track before and the trails are narrow (about a foot to 18 inches wide) and many rocks.
This picture may be a bit deceiving - there is a lot of gradual incline/ switchbacks to get up - and much wide open, flat area on the mesa.
At the top, where I didn't have to fight with incline, it was a bit easier to navigate. Mr. Burns would shout back about how fun the trail was. I was still nervous about the terrain and yelled, "This is dangerous and hurty!"
When we leveled out I had much more fun - riding fast, flying over bumps and rocks and proving to myself that I could control my bike.
(I'm still a bit gun-shy since the great bike crash of 2004)
When we finally rode back down my bravery kicked in and the rocks didn't seem like such big obstacles. Although I was a little afraid of the narrow tracks combined with speed. I was afraid I would bounce right out of a track (I use the term: rut) and end up crashing.
Mr. Burns rode ahead, and on one significant hill I found myself faced with a jackknifed front tire. It had bounced out of the track and I was airborne. As I flew over the handle bars I said aloud, "Yep, just like that..." that's what I was afraid of.
Not a bad crash.
Mr. Burns was already over the next hill and out of sight. I sat in the brush for a bit and called for him twice before I realized he was out of earshot. Finally, I pulled myself to my feet and mounted my bike again. It was a little screwed up - so I had to push it to meet Mr. Burns. When I finally saw him, I told him I needed help with the bike - kinda proud of my injury free crash.
Here's to firsts! It was scary, but it was fun.
I think brush is more forgiving than concrete. And I think my bike finally feels a bit sexy - having fulfilled the destiny of being called a Mountain Bike!
Today, I took the baby to a mountain for the first time!!
I am so terribly out of shape. I pushed my bike up the trails most of the way. Mr. Burns is much stronger and would ride ahead a bit, then wait for me to catch up with my bike. On the positive side, pushing my bike made it a full body workout rather than just cardio and legs!
I've never ridden single track before and the trails are narrow (about a foot to 18 inches wide) and many rocks.
This picture may be a bit deceiving - there is a lot of gradual incline/ switchbacks to get up - and much wide open, flat area on the mesa.
At the top, where I didn't have to fight with incline, it was a bit easier to navigate. Mr. Burns would shout back about how fun the trail was. I was still nervous about the terrain and yelled, "This is dangerous and hurty!"
When we leveled out I had much more fun - riding fast, flying over bumps and rocks and proving to myself that I could control my bike.
(I'm still a bit gun-shy since the great bike crash of 2004)
When we finally rode back down my bravery kicked in and the rocks didn't seem like such big obstacles. Although I was a little afraid of the narrow tracks combined with speed. I was afraid I would bounce right out of a track (I use the term: rut) and end up crashing.
Mr. Burns rode ahead, and on one significant hill I found myself faced with a jackknifed front tire. It had bounced out of the track and I was airborne. As I flew over the handle bars I said aloud, "Yep, just like that..." that's what I was afraid of.
Not a bad crash.
Mr. Burns was already over the next hill and out of sight. I sat in the brush for a bit and called for him twice before I realized he was out of earshot. Finally, I pulled myself to my feet and mounted my bike again. It was a little screwed up - so I had to push it to meet Mr. Burns. When I finally saw him, I told him I needed help with the bike - kinda proud of my injury free crash.
Here's to firsts! It was scary, but it was fun.
I think brush is more forgiving than concrete. And I think my bike finally feels a bit sexy - having fulfilled the destiny of being called a Mountain Bike!
What a Chore
I can't think of many things I hate more than washing dishes.
I hate it so much that I usually wait til there is nothing left to eat from - before resorting to doing dishes. At this point I should tell you that I don't have a dishwasher. Not since four apartments ago.
The one person who shares my hatred for the task of dishwashing is my friend Kimberly. We love and hate most of the same things. That's a true friend!
We both love older buildings, so we both end up in tiny little apartments with no dishwasher.
A couple years ago I made the rare journey out to visit her in San Francisco. Her apartment was so cute... with a tiny little kitchen so small you could almost work all the appliances from one standing position - just turn yourself around! Her kitchen was decorated so cute, with deep red paint on the walls - matching dishes arranged just so on the open shelving. And a small pile of dishes in the sink. As she gave me a little tour of her apartment she apologized for the mess in the sink and mentioned what a hard time she was having getting around to doing the dishes.
When she excused herself to go take a shower, I decided to fill the sink with water and clear up the dishes. Somehow, the work you hate the most is not only less dreadful, but bearable when you do it for someone you love.
When she returned to the kitchen, I tried to hide my smug expression as she surveyed her empty sink.
"Did you wash my dishes? You are not allowed to wash my dishes. No." she said sternly, as if scolding a dog with a favorite sandal in it's mouth.
Then she hugged me warmly as she said, "Thank you. That is the nicest thing you could have done for me. Just don't do it again."
I hate it so much that I usually wait til there is nothing left to eat from - before resorting to doing dishes. At this point I should tell you that I don't have a dishwasher. Not since four apartments ago.
The one person who shares my hatred for the task of dishwashing is my friend Kimberly. We love and hate most of the same things. That's a true friend!
We both love older buildings, so we both end up in tiny little apartments with no dishwasher.
A couple years ago I made the rare journey out to visit her in San Francisco. Her apartment was so cute... with a tiny little kitchen so small you could almost work all the appliances from one standing position - just turn yourself around! Her kitchen was decorated so cute, with deep red paint on the walls - matching dishes arranged just so on the open shelving. And a small pile of dishes in the sink. As she gave me a little tour of her apartment she apologized for the mess in the sink and mentioned what a hard time she was having getting around to doing the dishes.
When she excused herself to go take a shower, I decided to fill the sink with water and clear up the dishes. Somehow, the work you hate the most is not only less dreadful, but bearable when you do it for someone you love.
When she returned to the kitchen, I tried to hide my smug expression as she surveyed her empty sink.
"Did you wash my dishes? You are not allowed to wash my dishes. No." she said sternly, as if scolding a dog with a favorite sandal in it's mouth.
Then she hugged me warmly as she said, "Thank you. That is the nicest thing you could have done for me. Just don't do it again."
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Alone. Again. As Always
It's nearly a ten hour drive from Denver to my parent’s home. That's including gas stops, potty breaks and naps. My sister in law claims she drove it in eight hours. But she had her whole family for company. Such a long drive with no conversation, no company – well – it’s hard to stay awake. So for my own sanity and for the safety of everyone else on the interstate, I usually stop for a 20 minute nap around halfway through the drive.
That's why, when I came back from a visit last summer I told Mr. Burns that I was never making that trip again alone. From now on I expect him to be with me.
When my brother planned the big surprise party for dad's birthday I was so excited that this would be the first trip back with Mr. Burns at my side. It would be a great opportunity to finally introduce him to my parents. And because many of our relatives would be there, he'd meet everyone important to me!
Shortly after we set the plans for the party, Mr. Burns got a finalized schedule for his work travel schedule. It overlapped dad's party. Mr. Burns couldn’t go.
At the same time, the travel schedule put him 5 hours North of my parent's town. If he was done with the work assignment by Saturday, it was conceivable that he could rent a car and drive down. Then we could drive back to Denver together.
We talked about it as I was driving and finally about three hours from my destination. At that point he knew he would be off on Saturday. His field work is exhausting. Even when he gets to fly home, he's a pile of mush just yearning for his own bed. I didn’t really want him to have to drive 5 hours in that condition. Moreover, if he's worn down it's not the optimal circumstance to introduce him to my folks and then subject him to a crowd of 70 strangers.
He also made a crack that he considered surprising me anyway, but that I ruined it by discussing it. Ha ha. For the rest of my drive I thought about it some more. A woman with hours of free thought is a dangerous thing.
Early in our relationship I had told him that, judging by the successful marriages I knew of, the key is for the man to know that he’s found the woman he wants and fight for her. I told him that a man has to convince a woman that he knows without a doubt that she is the woman for him. Sometimes it comes down to the ‘Grand Gesture’.
Mr. Burns took that to heart and has since expressed concern that he doesn’t believe he’s doing that with me. That he hasn't done a lot of convincing. And sadly, it's true. But that's another story.
Anyway, as I drove the final few hours of my journey I thought, "If he leaves in the morning he could get to my folks house by noon or 1:00. I could introduce him to mom and dad and then he could take a good nap and be ready for the party at 5:00. Yeah. That would work. Is it asking too much? Well, I would do it for him. It’s no small favor. It would definitely be a 'grand gesture.'" Now I was convinced that this was the way it should go. I tried to call him that night but he was still on site at work. I couldn’t reach him, so I built a fantasy in my head where he was planning to rent a car and surprise me.
We missed each other's phone calls until Saturday morning when he called to tell me he had just landed in Denver. "Oh. So much for my fantasy." I told him.
Mom and I ran around getting balloons and cake and other goodies for the party. At 5:00 we were poised for the surprise. I spent the evening talking to relatives I only see at weddings and funerals. They all asked about my job (I don’t have one) and about my boyfriend (he’s not here) and I found myself in the uncomfortable position of being alone. again. as always. Damn. I’m almost 38 and I think I’ve finally found the man for me and here I am at a big event alone. It was very similar to the horror and overwhelming solitude that I felt attending dozens of weddings without a date. Excruciating. (thank God I can arm myself with my camera - it is both a conversation starter and an escape clause.)
Then I had another 10 hour drive back to Denver. More thinking.
Did I expect too much. No. I don’t think so. When his dad died last summer, I told him I would catch the next plane out to the east coast to be by his side if he wanted me there. He didn't. He didn’t think it would be a great time to introduce me to his huge family while they were grieving. What if they forever associated me with the saddest day of their lives?
Thanksgiving was the first holiday without his dad so he didn’t want to introduce me to his family then – so I stayed home. Christmas we both stayed in Denver. Finally, I went with him to his friend’s wedding in Atlanta. With all this time to think it’s becoming clearer and clearer that he’s holding me at arm’s length.
When I finally saw him again, Monday night I told him that I really needed him there with me at dad’s party. I am so done being alone. He said he was sorry he didn’t come.
What now? Am I alone in this relationship? It certainly feels that way.
That's why, when I came back from a visit last summer I told Mr. Burns that I was never making that trip again alone. From now on I expect him to be with me.
When my brother planned the big surprise party for dad's birthday I was so excited that this would be the first trip back with Mr. Burns at my side. It would be a great opportunity to finally introduce him to my parents. And because many of our relatives would be there, he'd meet everyone important to me!
Shortly after we set the plans for the party, Mr. Burns got a finalized schedule for his work travel schedule. It overlapped dad's party. Mr. Burns couldn’t go.
At the same time, the travel schedule put him 5 hours North of my parent's town. If he was done with the work assignment by Saturday, it was conceivable that he could rent a car and drive down. Then we could drive back to Denver together.
We talked about it as I was driving and finally about three hours from my destination. At that point he knew he would be off on Saturday. His field work is exhausting. Even when he gets to fly home, he's a pile of mush just yearning for his own bed. I didn’t really want him to have to drive 5 hours in that condition. Moreover, if he's worn down it's not the optimal circumstance to introduce him to my folks and then subject him to a crowd of 70 strangers.
He also made a crack that he considered surprising me anyway, but that I ruined it by discussing it. Ha ha. For the rest of my drive I thought about it some more. A woman with hours of free thought is a dangerous thing.
Early in our relationship I had told him that, judging by the successful marriages I knew of, the key is for the man to know that he’s found the woman he wants and fight for her. I told him that a man has to convince a woman that he knows without a doubt that she is the woman for him. Sometimes it comes down to the ‘Grand Gesture’.
Mr. Burns took that to heart and has since expressed concern that he doesn’t believe he’s doing that with me. That he hasn't done a lot of convincing. And sadly, it's true. But that's another story.
Anyway, as I drove the final few hours of my journey I thought, "If he leaves in the morning he could get to my folks house by noon or 1:00. I could introduce him to mom and dad and then he could take a good nap and be ready for the party at 5:00. Yeah. That would work. Is it asking too much? Well, I would do it for him. It’s no small favor. It would definitely be a 'grand gesture.'" Now I was convinced that this was the way it should go. I tried to call him that night but he was still on site at work. I couldn’t reach him, so I built a fantasy in my head where he was planning to rent a car and surprise me.
We missed each other's phone calls until Saturday morning when he called to tell me he had just landed in Denver. "Oh. So much for my fantasy." I told him.
Mom and I ran around getting balloons and cake and other goodies for the party. At 5:00 we were poised for the surprise. I spent the evening talking to relatives I only see at weddings and funerals. They all asked about my job (I don’t have one) and about my boyfriend (he’s not here) and I found myself in the uncomfortable position of being alone. again. as always. Damn. I’m almost 38 and I think I’ve finally found the man for me and here I am at a big event alone. It was very similar to the horror and overwhelming solitude that I felt attending dozens of weddings without a date. Excruciating. (thank God I can arm myself with my camera - it is both a conversation starter and an escape clause.)
Then I had another 10 hour drive back to Denver. More thinking.
Did I expect too much. No. I don’t think so. When his dad died last summer, I told him I would catch the next plane out to the east coast to be by his side if he wanted me there. He didn't. He didn’t think it would be a great time to introduce me to his huge family while they were grieving. What if they forever associated me with the saddest day of their lives?
Thanksgiving was the first holiday without his dad so he didn’t want to introduce me to his family then – so I stayed home. Christmas we both stayed in Denver. Finally, I went with him to his friend’s wedding in Atlanta. With all this time to think it’s becoming clearer and clearer that he’s holding me at arm’s length.
When I finally saw him again, Monday night I told him that I really needed him there with me at dad’s party. I am so done being alone. He said he was sorry he didn’t come.
What now? Am I alone in this relationship? It certainly feels that way.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
That's Not the Way I do it.
One of the top things on my pull-my-hair-out-before-I-resort-to list is moving my computer desk to access the many plugs and adapters on the back of my computer tower.
The reason:
I converted a good-sized closet into a small 'office' so that my desk didn't have to reside in my living room or bedroom. As a result, moving the desk is a major undertaking. It causes me undo stress. Just ask my friend Ben or Mr. Burns for that matter.
Today, as I was tinkering around on the Internet, I noticed that I wasn't getting audio when I clicked a couple different video links. I checked out my speakers and they were on - up - and otherwise functioning.
Mr. Burns used my computer yesterday to finish up some homework - and he remarked that the line to the mouse was too taut - so I figured he might have pulled the plug to the speaker out when he was pulling on the mouse cord.
Sigh.
So I pulled my hair out then resorted to pulling my desk out of it's alcove. While I was mid-way through this endeavor my phone rang with Mr. Burn's familiar pre-programmed ringtone - or as he calls it the Pavlovian signal! When he asked what I was up to I told him, "I'm doing the unspeakable." then explained my theory that the speaker plug pulled out and I was moving my desk to plug it back in.
He knew that wasn't a good sign!
Once I had a clear view of the back of the tower - it was clear that the plug was still in place. Hmm. I muttered, "I guess those speakers are pretty old. Maybe they're dead."
"Oh." said Mr. Burns. "You know what it is? I turned your speakers to MUTE while I was there. Sorry I didn't tell you."
WTH? Who does that?! I never click through the countless little gidgets all over the computer to find the one dinky feature that does what I can do with my finger - turn the volume down! Or switch the speakers off! What?!
Clearly, Mr. Burns approaches things differently than I. For him it's perfectly natural to scroll through a list of a million different features to find one little button.
I, on the other hand, skip all those steps and go straight to the horse's mouth and flip the actual - tangible button! Yes I know I'm mixing metaphors!
Oh - he owes me for making me resort to the unspeakable!
FYI - the reason I pull my desk out rather than pull the computer tower out of it's slot - is because I have all the cords in back neatly arranged and 3M'd (is that a term?) to the back of the desk. That way the cords don't tangle and the dust bunnies have to be orderly back there. As a result there is no slack in the cords to pull the tower forward.
Mr. Burns learned this the hard way. Last year for my birthday he bought me memory for my computer. Installing it was also the gift. He grumbled and swore a little bit as he tried to pull the tower forward. I said, "I usually pull the desk out and access it from behind." Thinking that was enough information to get him to change his tack.
He continued to pull it out the front kvetching and moaning all the way. I got increasingly irritated.
Finally after it was all over and he was sufficiently P.O'd I said, "That's why I move the desk out. The cords are all tethered on the back of the desk."
And that's how couples learn to communicate!!
Come to think of it... that's why the mouse cord was too taut. Because he pulled it out of it's carefully arranged 3M position when he installed the memory. I fixed that while I was back there too.
The reason:
I converted a good-sized closet into a small 'office' so that my desk didn't have to reside in my living room or bedroom. As a result, moving the desk is a major undertaking. It causes me undo stress. Just ask my friend Ben or Mr. Burns for that matter.
Today, as I was tinkering around on the Internet, I noticed that I wasn't getting audio when I clicked a couple different video links. I checked out my speakers and they were on - up - and otherwise functioning.
Mr. Burns used my computer yesterday to finish up some homework - and he remarked that the line to the mouse was too taut - so I figured he might have pulled the plug to the speaker out when he was pulling on the mouse cord.
Sigh.
So I pulled my hair out then resorted to pulling my desk out of it's alcove. While I was mid-way through this endeavor my phone rang with Mr. Burn's familiar pre-programmed ringtone - or as he calls it the Pavlovian signal! When he asked what I was up to I told him, "I'm doing the unspeakable." then explained my theory that the speaker plug pulled out and I was moving my desk to plug it back in.
He knew that wasn't a good sign!
Once I had a clear view of the back of the tower - it was clear that the plug was still in place. Hmm. I muttered, "I guess those speakers are pretty old. Maybe they're dead."
"Oh." said Mr. Burns. "You know what it is? I turned your speakers to MUTE while I was there. Sorry I didn't tell you."
WTH? Who does that?! I never click through the countless little gidgets all over the computer to find the one dinky feature that does what I can do with my finger - turn the volume down! Or switch the speakers off! What?!
Clearly, Mr. Burns approaches things differently than I. For him it's perfectly natural to scroll through a list of a million different features to find one little button.
I, on the other hand, skip all those steps and go straight to the horse's mouth and flip the actual - tangible button! Yes I know I'm mixing metaphors!
Oh - he owes me for making me resort to the unspeakable!
FYI - the reason I pull my desk out rather than pull the computer tower out of it's slot - is because I have all the cords in back neatly arranged and 3M'd (is that a term?) to the back of the desk. That way the cords don't tangle and the dust bunnies have to be orderly back there. As a result there is no slack in the cords to pull the tower forward.
Mr. Burns learned this the hard way. Last year for my birthday he bought me memory for my computer. Installing it was also the gift. He grumbled and swore a little bit as he tried to pull the tower forward. I said, "I usually pull the desk out and access it from behind." Thinking that was enough information to get him to change his tack.
He continued to pull it out the front kvetching and moaning all the way. I got increasingly irritated.
Finally after it was all over and he was sufficiently P.O'd I said, "That's why I move the desk out. The cords are all tethered on the back of the desk."
And that's how couples learn to communicate!!
Come to think of it... that's why the mouse cord was too taut. Because he pulled it out of it's carefully arranged 3M position when he installed the memory. I fixed that while I was back there too.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I could have danced all night...
Mr. Burns and I just returned from his friend's wedding down South.
Oh... I was so envious to see all the green trees and beautiful blooms! Denver has taken forever to green up. Finally upon return, the trees are now budding and blooming. Yay! Although I'm still waiting for the lilacs to come around.
Anyway, back to the wedding. It was so great to take another trip with Mr. Burns. He's been working out of town a lot lately, and if I hadn't been able to go to the wedding with him, I would not have seen him for three weeks straight! Boo hoo.
Plus, the wedding was a full Catholic Mass. It was really nice to sit with my beloved and soak up the nuptials that I hope will bind and/or bond me to him someday. No one is holding their breath!
The reception was at a nearby country club so Mr. Burns was content in soaking up the surrounding golf greens!
It should be noted that Mr. Burns is a very good dancer. He's good at everything he tries in an athletic sense. He once revealed that he took some dance lessons years ago, just so he would know what he was doing on the dance floor. As is his nature - he held all the information and is good at it. An area where we are not similar!!!
I can't make out rhythm. People tell me to listen for the beat or the count and I just can't do it.
I recall my music appreciation class in college - one of those classes everyone takes for an easy A. The instructor one day, played a piece of classical music and asked us to identify the instruments we could hear. Now I can make out a piano or a guitar - so imagine my surprise when one student said, "I hear an Oboe." BS! I thought, "You don't hear an Oboe. You might hear a horn but don't tell me you can hear that it's a freaking Oboe." Well apparently other people can. Sigh. I can say that's horn or those are strings - but mostly I hear the entire song -not the pieces that make up the song.
So anyway -that's what I blame for my inability to dance. Now, if someone teaches me steps, I'll get it, but I haven't had lessons since college so I pretty much stink.
Mr. Burns says that the man's job on the dance floor is to make the woman look good. If he's doing his job, no one should notice him. He's also incredibly patient - and I started to remember some of the moves from my swing dance days in college.
Better still, I picked out yet another new dress -
this one with a twirly skirt that must have moved gracefully as he spun and dipped me - disguising the fact that my feet didn't know what they were doing!!
That and the fact that the cheerful, vibrant Granny Smith Apple Green hue of my dress was bright and attention grabbing - Mr. Burns said that every time we danced - at least two cameras were on us!
Well, that's a bit embarrassing! I hope there are more pictures of the bride dancing than of me dancing!! Maybe the color is too bold for a wedding - but I try not to wear black or red to a wedding - and because this color reminds me distinctly of a tulip stem - the prettiest color on Earth - I couldn't resist it.
I had so much fun dancing with Mr. Burns. It was romantic. As he turned me around the dance floor, I fell in love with him a little bit more. In his arms, he guided me, twirled me and thrilled me with dips and spins and turns. I hope we have a lifetime of learning how to move together as one.
Oh... I was so envious to see all the green trees and beautiful blooms! Denver has taken forever to green up. Finally upon return, the trees are now budding and blooming. Yay! Although I'm still waiting for the lilacs to come around.
Anyway, back to the wedding. It was so great to take another trip with Mr. Burns. He's been working out of town a lot lately, and if I hadn't been able to go to the wedding with him, I would not have seen him for three weeks straight! Boo hoo.
Plus, the wedding was a full Catholic Mass. It was really nice to sit with my beloved and soak up the nuptials that I hope will bind and/or bond me to him someday. No one is holding their breath!
The reception was at a nearby country club so Mr. Burns was content in soaking up the surrounding golf greens!
It should be noted that Mr. Burns is a very good dancer. He's good at everything he tries in an athletic sense. He once revealed that he took some dance lessons years ago, just so he would know what he was doing on the dance floor. As is his nature - he held all the information and is good at it. An area where we are not similar!!!
I can't make out rhythm. People tell me to listen for the beat or the count and I just can't do it.
I recall my music appreciation class in college - one of those classes everyone takes for an easy A. The instructor one day, played a piece of classical music and asked us to identify the instruments we could hear. Now I can make out a piano or a guitar - so imagine my surprise when one student said, "I hear an Oboe." BS! I thought, "You don't hear an Oboe. You might hear a horn but don't tell me you can hear that it's a freaking Oboe." Well apparently other people can. Sigh. I can say that's horn or those are strings - but mostly I hear the entire song -not the pieces that make up the song.
So anyway -that's what I blame for my inability to dance. Now, if someone teaches me steps, I'll get it, but I haven't had lessons since college so I pretty much stink.
Mr. Burns says that the man's job on the dance floor is to make the woman look good. If he's doing his job, no one should notice him. He's also incredibly patient - and I started to remember some of the moves from my swing dance days in college.
Better still, I picked out yet another new dress -
this one with a twirly skirt that must have moved gracefully as he spun and dipped me - disguising the fact that my feet didn't know what they were doing!!That and the fact that the cheerful, vibrant Granny Smith Apple Green hue of my dress was bright and attention grabbing - Mr. Burns said that every time we danced - at least two cameras were on us!
Well, that's a bit embarrassing! I hope there are more pictures of the bride dancing than of me dancing!! Maybe the color is too bold for a wedding - but I try not to wear black or red to a wedding - and because this color reminds me distinctly of a tulip stem - the prettiest color on Earth - I couldn't resist it.
I had so much fun dancing with Mr. Burns. It was romantic. As he turned me around the dance floor, I fell in love with him a little bit more. In his arms, he guided me, twirled me and thrilled me with dips and spins and turns. I hope we have a lifetime of learning how to move together as one.
Deserving
I was in Ulta the other day, and as I was ready to pay for my purchase "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall started to play.
The music is peppy and gets my attention right away. The line, "Everything around her is a silver pool of light - the people who surround her feel the benefit of it - it makes you calm - she holds you captivated in her palm." Always reminds me of my friend Kimberly.
I couldn't help but sing along a little, and because I was smiling broadly with thoughts of my dear friend - the cashier looked at me inquisitively. So I offered the information of what the song means to me... then the refrain with that line was up again... I sort of recited it for her.
The cashier smiled and said, "She must be a wonderful friend."
"She is." said I. "I am blessed with many wonderful friends. I don't know how I deserve them."
And this is when people surprise you - This cute little college-student cashier, wise beyond her years said, "Oh, I'm sure you do deserve them. You must be a wonderful friend to have such wonderful friends."
What a note of cheer for the rest of my day!
The music is peppy and gets my attention right away. The line, "Everything around her is a silver pool of light - the people who surround her feel the benefit of it - it makes you calm - she holds you captivated in her palm." Always reminds me of my friend Kimberly.
I couldn't help but sing along a little, and because I was smiling broadly with thoughts of my dear friend - the cashier looked at me inquisitively. So I offered the information of what the song means to me... then the refrain with that line was up again... I sort of recited it for her.
The cashier smiled and said, "She must be a wonderful friend."
"She is." said I. "I am blessed with many wonderful friends. I don't know how I deserve them."
And this is when people surprise you - This cute little college-student cashier, wise beyond her years said, "Oh, I'm sure you do deserve them. You must be a wonderful friend to have such wonderful friends."
What a note of cheer for the rest of my day!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Spreading Cheer, One Grump at a Time!
I was just visiting Rocksinmydryer – and read about her very bad day. Someone broke into her car and stole her purse. She was dealing with police and canceling credit cards and on the verge of tears when a woman, observing from across the parking lot came up and offered her flowers! How very sweet! An angel in disquise! It reminded me of an experience I’ve been meaning to share here for some time….
In my last job, I traveled all over the country to interview people about their homes. Pretty sweet job for someone who loves houses and architecture!
Most of the homeowners were so very sweet and thoughtful.
On one trip in particular, I remember arriving at my hotel, greeted by a bouquet of cheerful wildflowers native to the area. A welcome present from the homeowner I was to interview the next day.
Sadly though, my photographer and I had to travel in the dark from the last shoot – we arrived after dinner and just before bedtime. We had to wake up early for the next days’ shoot so there wasn’t much time to enjoy the flowers. When I packed up my bags in the morning, I brought the vase out to the rental car and propped it in one of the cup-holders. The flowers sat graciously in the car while we spent 10 hours shooting in the home of the woman who arranged them for me.
Then, just before dark, we set off in the car to the nearest town with an airport to fly out the next morning. So I enjoyed the flowers for maybe three hours.
Knowing I couldn’t possibly take them on the plane, it pained me to think of tossing them. So as we drove, I mentioned to my photographer that it would be nice if we could stop by a nursing home and drop them off for someone who needed the cheering up. I would ask the desk to give them to someone who doesn’t get many visitors.
But it would be late when we arrived to check in to the hotel, and we still had to eat. Driving around looking for a worthy recipient didn’t really fit into the schedule – we had to catch an early flight in the morning.
Oh well.
We went into a franchise restaurant for a late dinner. After we ordered, but were still waiting for our food, I noticed a woman with her elderly mother. They seemed to be having a strained conversation. We couldn’t hear, but it was clear it wasn’t a casual conversation. Not stressful, not fighting. They were just talking about something difficult. Maybe they were discussing a sick relative or something.
Well there you go. They could use flowers. I thought. I asked my photographer friend if it would be too weird to get the flowers out of the truck and offer them to the ladies. He thought it was a nice idea.
So I took the keys and dashed out to the car. I was a little nervous as I approached their table. I explained, "I’m visiting from out of town, and was given these flowers. I can’t take them on the plane and I’d really like for someone to enjoy them. Would you like them?"
"No."
Really? Who doesn’t want flowers? Maybe they didn’t appreciate the interruption. Maybe they were so caught up in their problems that they didn’t recognize the kindness I was trying to offer them. I was bewildered. Not even "No, thank you." Just "No."
I went back to our table with the flowers. My photographer friend tried to hold back his smirk and said, "Oooh. Shot down!"
Seriously. I wasn't a pimply kid asking out the prom queen, but suddenly I understood what that kid felt like!
Most of all, I felt sad for the two ladies who didn't embrace the kind offer. It was really sad.
In the end, we offered them to the restaurant manager who in turn gave them to one of his waitresses. So at least they didn’t go to waste.
I’m still stunned when I think about someone rejecting flowers!
In my last job, I traveled all over the country to interview people about their homes. Pretty sweet job for someone who loves houses and architecture!
Most of the homeowners were so very sweet and thoughtful.
On one trip in particular, I remember arriving at my hotel, greeted by a bouquet of cheerful wildflowers native to the area. A welcome present from the homeowner I was to interview the next day.
Sadly though, my photographer and I had to travel in the dark from the last shoot – we arrived after dinner and just before bedtime. We had to wake up early for the next days’ shoot so there wasn’t much time to enjoy the flowers. When I packed up my bags in the morning, I brought the vase out to the rental car and propped it in one of the cup-holders. The flowers sat graciously in the car while we spent 10 hours shooting in the home of the woman who arranged them for me.
Then, just before dark, we set off in the car to the nearest town with an airport to fly out the next morning. So I enjoyed the flowers for maybe three hours.
Knowing I couldn’t possibly take them on the plane, it pained me to think of tossing them. So as we drove, I mentioned to my photographer that it would be nice if we could stop by a nursing home and drop them off for someone who needed the cheering up. I would ask the desk to give them to someone who doesn’t get many visitors.
But it would be late when we arrived to check in to the hotel, and we still had to eat. Driving around looking for a worthy recipient didn’t really fit into the schedule – we had to catch an early flight in the morning.
Oh well.
We went into a franchise restaurant for a late dinner. After we ordered, but were still waiting for our food, I noticed a woman with her elderly mother. They seemed to be having a strained conversation. We couldn’t hear, but it was clear it wasn’t a casual conversation. Not stressful, not fighting. They were just talking about something difficult. Maybe they were discussing a sick relative or something.
Well there you go. They could use flowers. I thought. I asked my photographer friend if it would be too weird to get the flowers out of the truck and offer them to the ladies. He thought it was a nice idea.
So I took the keys and dashed out to the car. I was a little nervous as I approached their table. I explained, "I’m visiting from out of town, and was given these flowers. I can’t take them on the plane and I’d really like for someone to enjoy them. Would you like them?"
"No."
Really? Who doesn’t want flowers? Maybe they didn’t appreciate the interruption. Maybe they were so caught up in their problems that they didn’t recognize the kindness I was trying to offer them. I was bewildered. Not even "No, thank you." Just "No."
I went back to our table with the flowers. My photographer friend tried to hold back his smirk and said, "Oooh. Shot down!"
Seriously. I wasn't a pimply kid asking out the prom queen, but suddenly I understood what that kid felt like!
Most of all, I felt sad for the two ladies who didn't embrace the kind offer. It was really sad.
In the end, we offered them to the restaurant manager who in turn gave them to one of his waitresses. So at least they didn’t go to waste.
I’m still stunned when I think about someone rejecting flowers!
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
They'll Take My Generation X Card Away
I’ve never seen a single episode of Star Wars in it's entirity.
Despite the fact that I had a Princess Leah Barbie doll. Yeah, I took the buns out of her hair and never got them back in.
When people learn this about me, they are stunned. They ask how this is possible. They’ve threatened to release me from Generation X, especially after the two new ‘first’ episodes hit theaters.
I had to think about it, and here’s the answer:
The first Star Wars movie was released in what 1977? My parents didn’t really take us to movies. I saw maybe 5 movies in a theatre before I was 16 years old. On top of that, we lived in the country and didn’t have access to cable television, which is how most people saw certain movies 5 to 10 times before the advent of VCRs. My parents didn’t get a VCR until I was in college. By then, catching up on Star Wars required dedicating 8 hours of my life to watch what amounts to an old movie.
Mr. Burns learned all of this last weekend. We both bemoan the fact that there is never anything good on TV despite the 400 some channels he has to choose from with his satellite service. (is anyone surprised that I don’t even have cable?!) We were flipping through the channels and he landed on the middle of the first new Star Wars episode. Episode One I presume. He wanted to watch it. That led to revealing all the information that I have just shared with you.
Okay. So we pick up right about where Anakin’s mother dies. The next thing I know, there is a battle that never ends. If at some point the good guys appear to be making progress, more droids enter the battlefield. Droids that aren’t even remotely similar to the first ones seemingly assigned to the battle. This doesn’t seem fair. You can’t challenge someone to a fight and then keep replacing the foes they manage to defeat. More importantly, this means that the battle never ends. Boring! How interesting is it to watch the same fight for 40 minutes?
I started shifting in my seat. Now, I work in television, and I have been responsible for the production end of a number of shows. I start thinking… there had to be a point where George Lucas and the film editor thought; “This is getting long. Tedious even. Maybe we need to shorten the battle scene.” And they choose not to!
I thought, this is about as interesting as watching some on screen couple kiss – nothing else – just kiss - for 2 two hours. Fun for them, but not really interesting for anyone else.
I finally got up and told Mr. Burns that I was going to the other room to count the hairs on my arms, just for the change of pace.
Despite the fact that I had a Princess Leah Barbie doll. Yeah, I took the buns out of her hair and never got them back in.
When people learn this about me, they are stunned. They ask how this is possible. They’ve threatened to release me from Generation X, especially after the two new ‘first’ episodes hit theaters.
I had to think about it, and here’s the answer:
The first Star Wars movie was released in what 1977? My parents didn’t really take us to movies. I saw maybe 5 movies in a theatre before I was 16 years old. On top of that, we lived in the country and didn’t have access to cable television, which is how most people saw certain movies 5 to 10 times before the advent of VCRs. My parents didn’t get a VCR until I was in college. By then, catching up on Star Wars required dedicating 8 hours of my life to watch what amounts to an old movie.
Mr. Burns learned all of this last weekend. We both bemoan the fact that there is never anything good on TV despite the 400 some channels he has to choose from with his satellite service. (is anyone surprised that I don’t even have cable?!) We were flipping through the channels and he landed on the middle of the first new Star Wars episode. Episode One I presume. He wanted to watch it. That led to revealing all the information that I have just shared with you.
Okay. So we pick up right about where Anakin’s mother dies. The next thing I know, there is a battle that never ends. If at some point the good guys appear to be making progress, more droids enter the battlefield. Droids that aren’t even remotely similar to the first ones seemingly assigned to the battle. This doesn’t seem fair. You can’t challenge someone to a fight and then keep replacing the foes they manage to defeat. More importantly, this means that the battle never ends. Boring! How interesting is it to watch the same fight for 40 minutes?
I started shifting in my seat. Now, I work in television, and I have been responsible for the production end of a number of shows. I start thinking… there had to be a point where George Lucas and the film editor thought; “This is getting long. Tedious even. Maybe we need to shorten the battle scene.” And they choose not to!
I thought, this is about as interesting as watching some on screen couple kiss – nothing else – just kiss - for 2 two hours. Fun for them, but not really interesting for anyone else.
I finally got up and told Mr. Burns that I was going to the other room to count the hairs on my arms, just for the change of pace.
Friday, April 04, 2008
The Big Scare
I just want to throw a (sarcastic) giant thank you out into the universe to the moron who tried to kill me today.
I was driving up Colorado Boulevard (Northbound, just before the I-25 split) when suddenly this beige/bronze CRV nearly sideswiped me! I slammed the breaks and steered to the right.
I was in the center right lane, Stupid-face CRV was in the center left. But here's the thing... he wasn't right next to me... no ... that might mean that I could have been in his blind spot. (not that that's an excuse... move your heads people!!) Oh no. He was overtaking me, meaning he was passing in the left lane. There's no reason he shouldn't have known I was there. Essentially I was IN FRONT OF HIM. Freaking moron! Darn near killed me.
It was the scariest thing I've experienced in a while.
But I want to say thanks because... I had been feeling so good.
After a year of expensive deep tissue massage and chiropractic adjustments I was begining to feel like a normal healthy human being.
My neck wasn't hurting and my back was feeling great. Thank you so much for locking up my spine. Just tell me where to send the Chiropractic bill you cheese head.
Ugh. I watched as he moved along in traffic. He's one of those creeps who needs to move over 4 lanes in the span of a block because he can't plan ahead.
I was driving up Colorado Boulevard (Northbound, just before the I-25 split) when suddenly this beige/bronze CRV nearly sideswiped me! I slammed the breaks and steered to the right.
I was in the center right lane, Stupid-face CRV was in the center left. But here's the thing... he wasn't right next to me... no ... that might mean that I could have been in his blind spot. (not that that's an excuse... move your heads people!!) Oh no. He was overtaking me, meaning he was passing in the left lane. There's no reason he shouldn't have known I was there. Essentially I was IN FRONT OF HIM. Freaking moron! Darn near killed me.
It was the scariest thing I've experienced in a while.
But I want to say thanks because... I had been feeling so good.
After a year of expensive deep tissue massage and chiropractic adjustments I was begining to feel like a normal healthy human being.
My neck wasn't hurting and my back was feeling great. Thank you so much for locking up my spine. Just tell me where to send the Chiropractic bill you cheese head.
Ugh. I watched as he moved along in traffic. He's one of those creeps who needs to move over 4 lanes in the span of a block because he can't plan ahead.
Matched Souls
Oh. my. word! I can't believe it!
I just met my new neighbor. She's outside with the movers right now.
As she walked over to greet me I thought, "She looks a little like my friend Kimberly."
Well, she doesn't look entirely like Kimberly, just enough to put her in my head. But then she started talking! And I almost started to cry.
She says things like, "The building? I love, love, love it! So so cute!"
When she opened her mouth I couldn't stop myself from hugging her because she made me miss Kimberly (who is far away from me in San Francisco) so much!!
Here I am. A perfect stranger, suddenly attached to her neck!
She must think I'm crazy!!
Funny thing is... she totally accepted the hug and hugged back!
I'm a FREAK!!
Funnier still. Guess how I met Kimberly? When she was moving in across the hall from me.
We were neighbors for 2-3 months before I moved about a mile away. We rarely saw each other until she decided to up and move to Seattle a few months (like 6-9 months) later.
So we are long distance friends - soul mates - sisters all because we shared a hallway for 3 months!
UPDATE: This is great... Kimberly's response to the incident:
I just met my new neighbor. She's outside with the movers right now.
As she walked over to greet me I thought, "She looks a little like my friend Kimberly."
Well, she doesn't look entirely like Kimberly, just enough to put her in my head. But then she started talking! And I almost started to cry.
She says things like, "The building? I love, love, love it! So so cute!"
When she opened her mouth I couldn't stop myself from hugging her because she made me miss Kimberly (who is far away from me in San Francisco) so much!!
Here I am. A perfect stranger, suddenly attached to her neck!
She must think I'm crazy!!
Funny thing is... she totally accepted the hug and hugged back!
I'm a FREAK!!
Funnier still. Guess how I met Kimberly? When she was moving in across the hall from me.
We were neighbors for 2-3 months before I moved about a mile away. We rarely saw each other until she decided to up and move to Seattle a few months (like 6-9 months) later.
So we are long distance friends - soul mates - sisters all because we shared a hallway for 3 months!
UPDATE: This is great... Kimberly's response to the incident:
HAHAHAHAHA! Awesome!
Now I need my own personal TRS-clone HERE. Fair is fair!
K
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Learn to Ski
Okay. I've been telling some of my friends about my experience skiing with Mr. Burns and teaching my niece to advance past her ski lesson.
The reaction I got from at least two friends was that their ski adventures didn't go as well. They learned to ski with their boyfriends at the time and as a result they find it terrifying and absolutely no fun.
This is very sad to me.
My advice to everyone who wants to try skiing for the first time. GET A LESSON!
Do not count on your friends to teach you. Not only is it very likely that they will fail - if they even attempt more than just getting you on a lift - no one will enjoy the experience.
Below is my table listing reasons why to spring for a lesson.
My friends (and my brother) who decided to forego lessons in favor of skiing with their friends... had terrible experiences.
Skiing is supposed to be fun.
My brother was forced to keep up with his advanced friends. He couldn't possibly. Turned out, they went down the same run 3 or 4 times passing him each time as he struggled his way down the slope. Not cool.
My girlfriends never got past learning to snow plow. That is not fun.
I'll bet you wads of cash that those boyfriends grew tired real quick of spending time on remedial skills. After an hour of that - they went off to have fun.
The girls in turn, didn't want to be left out - so they busted their buns to keep up on advanced slopes that were way beyond their skill level. They had to be freakin' sore, exhausted and most likely, less enamored with their boyfriend (and the sport) at the end of the day.
My boyfriend and I took my niece under our wings the day after her first lesson. She was showing great instincts and skills so we just skied slowly and gave her pointers.
It helped that I love my niece tremendously and would never abandon her.
And that Mr. Burns had already had his fill of skiing for the season and didn't mind puttering down a hill with a teenager, teaching her how to get back up after falls - and encouraging her to turn and take on inclines that he was confident she could handle... even if she doubted her skill.
Bottom line: If you're planning a trip with folks who don't live in mountains... and this is their one chance to ski each year... trust me, they don't want to waste their trip teaching someone how to ski.
Don't take it personally. In fact, if your friend recommends your taking a lesson rather than them teaching you... it means they love you and want you to stick around.
You'll be happier if you take a group lesson.
My tip for the day!
Monday, March 31, 2008
An Ideal Girlfriend
It seems, that one of the top things on a single man’s wish list is a woman who enjoys the same activities as he.
Here in Denver, that puts mountain biking and skiing at the top of the list. They want a woman who can at least keep up with them – and in this very active, outdoor oriented state (Colorado, I mean – not a mental state) there are many women who fit the requirement. Lucky guys.
In my relationship, Mr. Burns is thankful that I enjoy hiking and rollerblading and biking, even if I can’t exactly keep up. Mr. Burns is good at almost every sport. Last summer he spent a lot of time trying to teach me tennis. This was both fun and frustrating.
Each time I let a ball go by just because I didn’t want to run to meet it, added to his frustration. But in my defense, I was suffering from hip pain which was more debilitating than I realized. The pain made it very hard to run, and took twice as much energy as it should just to trot after the stray balls.
So when I told Mr. Burns that I was a decent skier, it is fair that he had some doubts. I haven’t even been skiing in three years. Two years ago I went up to Breckenridge with an out-of-town friend and we took snow board lessons together. That was my last time on the mountain.
Now, Mr. Burns has been skiing quite a bit this winter while I was working weekends. This past weekend was our only chance to go up together. My brother and his family were out to visit and take their kids skiing for the first time. The fam stayed at my cousin’s condo, and Mr. Burns and I joined them on Friday night.
I had to go rent skis and equipment and Mr. Burns overheard the conversation as the sales guy was trying to determine my skill level. I told him that I was pretty good on blues and trying to conquer blue/blacks. I’m sure Mr. Burns had his doubts.
On Saturday, the two of us took my oldest niece down some runs and taught her how to advance beyond the ‘snow plow’ philosophy that the instructors drilled into her the day before. It was an opportunity for me to warm up a bit, since it had been so long since I strapped boards to my feet. Thankfully it all came back to me.
After two runs with the kiddo, Mr. Burns asked if I was up for a blue/black and off we went. The steepest section was a little tricky but I gave it my all – at one point about 20 yards from catching up to Mr. Burns I was chanting, “Kinda scary, kinda scary, kinda scary.” He heard me and had a good chuckle over it.
Once past that challenge I felt pretty exhilarated for the rest of the black run. Mr. Burns was beaming as he announced that I was pretty fast. He was impressed! How thrilled he was that I was a better skier than most of his friends’ wives. Whoo hoo!
Later, I told him that I’ve only been skiing 10-12 days out of my entire life. Well, now he was more than excited. If I could actually get on a mountain I’d be a great skier! The only thing holding me back is cash flow!
Yeah… you definitely have a future together when you talk about getting buddy passes next year.
Here in Denver, that puts mountain biking and skiing at the top of the list. They want a woman who can at least keep up with them – and in this very active, outdoor oriented state (Colorado, I mean – not a mental state) there are many women who fit the requirement. Lucky guys.
In my relationship, Mr. Burns is thankful that I enjoy hiking and rollerblading and biking, even if I can’t exactly keep up. Mr. Burns is good at almost every sport. Last summer he spent a lot of time trying to teach me tennis. This was both fun and frustrating.
Each time I let a ball go by just because I didn’t want to run to meet it, added to his frustration. But in my defense, I was suffering from hip pain which was more debilitating than I realized. The pain made it very hard to run, and took twice as much energy as it should just to trot after the stray balls.
So when I told Mr. Burns that I was a decent skier, it is fair that he had some doubts. I haven’t even been skiing in three years. Two years ago I went up to Breckenridge with an out-of-town friend and we took snow board lessons together. That was my last time on the mountain.
Now, Mr. Burns has been skiing quite a bit this winter while I was working weekends. This past weekend was our only chance to go up together. My brother and his family were out to visit and take their kids skiing for the first time. The fam stayed at my cousin’s condo, and Mr. Burns and I joined them on Friday night.
I had to go rent skis and equipment and Mr. Burns overheard the conversation as the sales guy was trying to determine my skill level. I told him that I was pretty good on blues and trying to conquer blue/blacks. I’m sure Mr. Burns had his doubts.
On Saturday, the two of us took my oldest niece down some runs and taught her how to advance beyond the ‘snow plow’ philosophy that the instructors drilled into her the day before. It was an opportunity for me to warm up a bit, since it had been so long since I strapped boards to my feet. Thankfully it all came back to me.
After two runs with the kiddo, Mr. Burns asked if I was up for a blue/black and off we went. The steepest section was a little tricky but I gave it my all – at one point about 20 yards from catching up to Mr. Burns I was chanting, “Kinda scary, kinda scary, kinda scary.” He heard me and had a good chuckle over it.
Once past that challenge I felt pretty exhilarated for the rest of the black run. Mr. Burns was beaming as he announced that I was pretty fast. He was impressed! How thrilled he was that I was a better skier than most of his friends’ wives. Whoo hoo!
Later, I told him that I’ve only been skiing 10-12 days out of my entire life. Well, now he was more than excited. If I could actually get on a mountain I’d be a great skier! The only thing holding me back is cash flow!
Yeah… you definitely have a future together when you talk about getting buddy passes next year.
Monday, March 17, 2008
I gave it up for Lent
But I have to keep working on it.
My Lenten Resolution was to manage my time on the internet in an effort to not waste so much of it. Time that is.
I even bought a kitchen timer and for the first two or three weeks, I'd give myself 20 or 30 minutes a day and I stuck to it.
Mr. Burns tries to help. When I sit down to check my email or pay bills online he reminds me, "Don't stay on too long baby." He knows better than to try to figure out what I'm doing on here. The answer would probably bore him to tears!
Now, the week before Easter, I'm no better off than when I started. Except now my eyeballs aren't tired all the time!
Tonight, on my trolling adventures I found this: 
Too perfect!
Though I'm not going around correcting people... but I do enjoy sharing my opinion.
Okay... gotta go to bed now.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
It's The Little Things
I feel like I have neglected my brain for the past few years.
Honestly... after writing on daily deadlines for 10 years straight since finishing college... I changed careers and started writing only emails. Then I started this blog just to force myself to practice my writing (and to have some sort of audience - even if it's mostly imagined).
I swear, I find myself mispelling words that I never even doubted myself about before. It's as if my fingers don't even remember the words - regardless of what my brain claims to know!!
Some people turn to puzzles and crosswords to keep their brain sharp. I know people who have enjoyed those sort of games their entire lives. They never really appealed to me.
Then Sudoku came about. Please. I would never choose to spend extra time with numbers no matter how friendly they pretend to be!
But Mr. Burns, being the Head-Of-His-Class, Engineer, brainy type - obviously keeps his mind sharp with Sudoku, Crossword puzzles and other mind teasers. One Sunday he sat toiling over and enjoying the Post's crossword puzzle and as I made attempts to assist - I realized that Crossword clues are a venacular all their own. If I wanted to take up Crossword Puzzles, I would have to start with the Idiot's Guide just to warm up!!
The next time we found ourselves at the store, Mr. Burns picked up a couple of puzzle/mind teaser workbooks. Hmmm. They got an idiot version in there for me to work on?
The books have 8-12 different kinds of puzzles... and before long, the two of us found one type of puzzle to work on together. It's called Anagram Magic Square. Mr. Burns handles the math portion and we each contribute our specialized knowledge to solve the literary clues. Not bad. It's certainly a fun way to uncover the many interesting ways your mates' mind works. (I worry that he's just figured out that I'm not-so-bright!)
I also found another sort of puzzle that is particularly appealing to me - Laddergrams. Ooh fun!
So I found it particularly charming the other day when I got to Mr. Burns' house and he held up the puzzle book saying, "There is only one of these puzzles left in this book. (magic square) I'm saving it for us to do together. Don't do it without me."
Awwww!
Honestly... after writing on daily deadlines for 10 years straight since finishing college... I changed careers and started writing only emails. Then I started this blog just to force myself to practice my writing (and to have some sort of audience - even if it's mostly imagined).
I swear, I find myself mispelling words that I never even doubted myself about before. It's as if my fingers don't even remember the words - regardless of what my brain claims to know!!
Some people turn to puzzles and crosswords to keep their brain sharp. I know people who have enjoyed those sort of games their entire lives. They never really appealed to me.
Then Sudoku came about. Please. I would never choose to spend extra time with numbers no matter how friendly they pretend to be!
But Mr. Burns, being the Head-Of-His-Class, Engineer, brainy type - obviously keeps his mind sharp with Sudoku, Crossword puzzles and other mind teasers. One Sunday he sat toiling over and enjoying the Post's crossword puzzle and as I made attempts to assist - I realized that Crossword clues are a venacular all their own. If I wanted to take up Crossword Puzzles, I would have to start with the Idiot's Guide just to warm up!!
The next time we found ourselves at the store, Mr. Burns picked up a couple of puzzle/mind teaser workbooks. Hmmm. They got an idiot version in there for me to work on?
The books have 8-12 different kinds of puzzles... and before long, the two of us found one type of puzzle to work on together. It's called Anagram Magic Square. Mr. Burns handles the math portion and we each contribute our specialized knowledge to solve the literary clues. Not bad. It's certainly a fun way to uncover the many interesting ways your mates' mind works. (I worry that he's just figured out that I'm not-so-bright!)
I also found another sort of puzzle that is particularly appealing to me - Laddergrams. Ooh fun!
So I found it particularly charming the other day when I got to Mr. Burns' house and he held up the puzzle book saying, "There is only one of these puzzles left in this book. (magic square) I'm saving it for us to do together. Don't do it without me."
Awwww!
Friday, February 15, 2008
It is a truly fine and elegant drink
Can't stop laughing.
For Valentine's day, Mr. Burns decided to take me to the little mom 'n pop indian restaurant by my house that I enjoy so very much. Really, it is unbelieveable how good the Saag is there!!
The problem with dining with me... never mind all my food allergies... is that I really prefer sparkling water with my meal. I love San Pellegrino.
For Valentine's day, Mr. Burns decided to take me to the little mom 'n pop indian restaurant by my house that I enjoy so very much. Really, it is unbelieveable how good the Saag is there!!
The problem with dining with me... never mind all my food allergies... is that I really prefer sparkling water with my meal. I love San Pellegrino.
But I know from experience that this little restaurant only has Perrier, and that will do just fine. I also remember from another time at this restaurant, that the same waiter was more than unfamiliar with just exactly what Perrier is. During last night's visit, we learned that he didn't remember anything from last time.
So anyway. Mr. Burns orders a beer and I ask for a Perrier. And to be clear, I described what I wanted... a bottle of sparkling water.
In short order Mr. Burns gets his beer and the waiter asks me to repeat what kind of wine I want. Not wine, sparkling water. Okay. He goes off.
He brings us our flatbread and tammerin sauce... yummmmmm. It's kind of spicy so by now I'm really wishing for my water.
Another 5 minutes go by and the waiter tells me he'll have my bottle out in a few more minutes. Meanwhile I'm staring at bottles of Perrier behind the counter staring back at me. Taunting me.
Before long, I see our waiter with the manager, pulling bottles of imported beer out of a bar fridge looking for whatever it is he's dying to bring me. I wonder what they're looking for.
Next, our waiter arrives with an ice bucket on a stand and sets it next to our table. (I'm crying right now trying to find words to relay the story!!!) Mr. Burns and I exchange glances. He's pretty concerned. We are quite positive that Perrier rarely comes with bottle service!!
Mr. Burns shoots up from his seat - over to the counter and explains that I just want bottled water. (can't breathe!) He comes back and says he was worried they were going to open a bottle of Dom Perigone or something!! And he didn't want to pay for that.
The waiter apologizes profusely - takes away the ice bucket and brings me a plastic bottle of Perrier.
He thought I asked for sparkling wine - thus the big production to locate it!
Oh my word.
So anyway. Mr. Burns orders a beer and I ask for a Perrier. And to be clear, I described what I wanted... a bottle of sparkling water.
In short order Mr. Burns gets his beer and the waiter asks me to repeat what kind of wine I want. Not wine, sparkling water. Okay. He goes off.
He brings us our flatbread and tammerin sauce... yummmmmm. It's kind of spicy so by now I'm really wishing for my water.
Another 5 minutes go by and the waiter tells me he'll have my bottle out in a few more minutes. Meanwhile I'm staring at bottles of Perrier behind the counter staring back at me. Taunting me.
Before long, I see our waiter with the manager, pulling bottles of imported beer out of a bar fridge looking for whatever it is he's dying to bring me. I wonder what they're looking for.
Next, our waiter arrives with an ice bucket on a stand and sets it next to our table. (I'm crying right now trying to find words to relay the story!!!) Mr. Burns and I exchange glances. He's pretty concerned. We are quite positive that Perrier rarely comes with bottle service!!
Mr. Burns shoots up from his seat - over to the counter and explains that I just want bottled water. (can't breathe!) He comes back and says he was worried they were going to open a bottle of Dom Perigone or something!! And he didn't want to pay for that.
The waiter apologizes profusely - takes away the ice bucket and brings me a plastic bottle of Perrier.
He thought I asked for sparkling wine - thus the big production to locate it!Oh my word.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
My Funny Valentine
Mr. Burn's and I have had brief conversations over the past year that we've been dating that revealed that neither of us care too much for Valentine's day.
I once told him I'd rather get flowers in August when they are reasonably priced and a surprise.
I never want him to feel obligated to get me something.
Last Sunday we were going through the Sunday paper and I saw all the JCPenney and KMart ads with all the heart shaped jewlery (which I personally, find not only goofy-looking, but hideous).
In a moment of self preservation turned to him and said, "I'm sure you never would, but I just want to be clear. Don't ever get me anything like this."
He replied, "I wouldn't."
Whew.
So Mr. Burns called me today on my lunch break and said, "Happy Valentine's Day. I didn't get you anything." I said that's fine. pause. "Did you get me something?" He asked. No. I made you something. "You made me something? Crap."
Tee hee.
Originally, I had no plans to get Mr. Burns anything but a card for Valentine's Day. Then I was talking with my friend Kimberly - telling her one of those stories about little frustrations in a relationship - a story in which Mr. Burns was frustrated with my habit of identifying different meanings to words that he viewed as inocculous.
For example, "But you keep saying it's fine. Then later you're upset about it!?!?!"
I had to explain that 'fine' doesn't mean, "great. that's super. It means that I accept that right now and I'm not ready to give up on you just yet."
After this exchange, Mr. Burns blurted out, "Well. If I had consulted the TRS to English dictionary, maybe I would know that!"
Kimberly cracked up at the story and suggested that I make him a TRS to English dictionary for Valentine's day. I couldn't resist! I thought I'd go to Kinko's to use their Publisher program and color copiers and spend about $5 on the little project.
Wrong! An hour of computer time cost me $14 and several pages that printed out too big cost me a bunch more! Oh well. I was giggling the whole time and left rather satisfied about my little gag gift.
So when he came over this evening to take me to dinner, I presented him with a card and his little wrapped gift. (the card nearly made him cry) I told him the gift was something he once mentioned he would find useful.
He was completely confused!
Finally he got it open and saw the 'binding' which read, "TRS to English Dictionary" He burst out laughing. Then he turned the book over and over reading each of the tidbits I came up with...
Along with the title, the front cover read: "The standard reference tool for certain men named Mr. Burns - seeking to communicate with certain women named TRS."
Then on the back: " The beauty of this reference source is its adapability. It is designed to be added to and modified for years to come. A flexibility unparalleled among all other reference guides."
I also added reviews - "This is the essential tome for effective discourse. I couldn't put it down."
"Undeniably clear and concise. No other reference is comparable."
"Redefines terminology in an easy to understand format. A must for all men."
and my favorite.... "Understated. Refined. Superlative." !!!
He didn't stop laughing until long after he'd read every word!
It was a big hit.
I once told him I'd rather get flowers in August when they are reasonably priced and a surprise.
I never want him to feel obligated to get me something.
Last Sunday we were going through the Sunday paper and I saw all the JCPenney and KMart ads with all the heart shaped jewlery (which I personally, find not only goofy-looking, but hideous).
In a moment of self preservation turned to him and said, "I'm sure you never would, but I just want to be clear. Don't ever get me anything like this."
He replied, "I wouldn't."
Whew.
So Mr. Burns called me today on my lunch break and said, "Happy Valentine's Day. I didn't get you anything." I said that's fine. pause. "Did you get me something?" He asked. No. I made you something. "You made me something? Crap."
Tee hee.
Originally, I had no plans to get Mr. Burns anything but a card for Valentine's Day. Then I was talking with my friend Kimberly - telling her one of those stories about little frustrations in a relationship - a story in which Mr. Burns was frustrated with my habit of identifying different meanings to words that he viewed as inocculous.
For example, "But you keep saying it's fine. Then later you're upset about it!?!?!"
I had to explain that 'fine' doesn't mean, "great. that's super. It means that I accept that right now and I'm not ready to give up on you just yet."
After this exchange, Mr. Burns blurted out, "Well. If I had consulted the TRS to English dictionary, maybe I would know that!"
Kimberly cracked up at the story and suggested that I make him a TRS to English dictionary for Valentine's day. I couldn't resist! I thought I'd go to Kinko's to use their Publisher program and color copiers and spend about $5 on the little project.
Wrong! An hour of computer time cost me $14 and several pages that printed out too big cost me a bunch more! Oh well. I was giggling the whole time and left rather satisfied about my little gag gift.
So when he came over this evening to take me to dinner, I presented him with a card and his little wrapped gift. (the card nearly made him cry) I told him the gift was something he once mentioned he would find useful.
He was completely confused!
Finally he got it open and saw the 'binding' which read, "TRS to English Dictionary" He burst out laughing. Then he turned the book over and over reading each of the tidbits I came up with...
Along with the title, the front cover read: "The standard reference tool for certain men named Mr. Burns - seeking to communicate with certain women named TRS."
Then on the back: " The beauty of this reference source is its adapability. It is designed to be added to and modified for years to come. A flexibility unparalleled among all other reference guides."
I also added reviews - "This is the essential tome for effective discourse. I couldn't put it down."
"Undeniably clear and concise. No other reference is comparable."
"Redefines terminology in an easy to understand format. A must for all men."
and my favorite.... "Understated. Refined. Superlative." !!!
He didn't stop laughing until long after he'd read every word!
It was a big hit.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Milestones or Assumptions?
Losing a child has to be the hardest thing God asks anyone to face.
I've been following a story here in Denver on the case of a Colorado woman who moved to Georgia. She was back in Denver for Christmas, returned to Georgia and was suddenly missing on New Years Day. Turns out she went for a hike with her dog and encountered a wanderer who murdered her.
Story here: http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/15186861/detail.html
The murderer was sentenced to life in prison last week. At the sentencing, her father spoke about his regret that he'll never walk her down the aisle at her wedding, or hold a grandchild.
Why is that always what parents say? That they most look forward to seeing their child get married? That they expect them to have children?
I understand that they are talking about milestones, but why does everyone assume that everyone is going to get married and reproduce?
I mean no disrespect to this woman's family. I understand the loss. My sister was murdered at the same age as this woman. But my parents never said a word about missing her wedding. Maybe that's because she already had a baby. I don't know.
I bring this up because as someone's child... if that's the big event my parents were looking forward to... well I feel like a lousy kid. I'm almost 38. I've never been married. I've never had a kid because I don't want to raise a kid without a husband. I realize that even if I do get married someday, my parents may not be around to witness it. Does that make me a failure? One basic thing that my parents want for me and I can't even give them that!
My thoughts also go to the children who hear this expectation come from their own parents mouths... even though they might be gay. Can you imagine the pressure of a poor kid who knows he or she will never have ANY interest in the opposite sex - to learn that the big day their parents are waiting for is a wedding day?!?
Maybe it comes from knowing a great love.... and wanting nothing but a great love for your child. Maybe that is the supreme happiness. Maybe that's as good as it gets.
But to me, it's almost like saying that unless you find that love... that dang near impossible to find love... that your life was somehow empty. And I guess I find that insulting because I don't view my life as empty.
Maybe some of you folks who have fallen in love and bred and reproduced can enlighten me.
I've been following a story here in Denver on the case of a Colorado woman who moved to Georgia. She was back in Denver for Christmas, returned to Georgia and was suddenly missing on New Years Day. Turns out she went for a hike with her dog and encountered a wanderer who murdered her.
Story here: http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/15186861/detail.html
The murderer was sentenced to life in prison last week. At the sentencing, her father spoke about his regret that he'll never walk her down the aisle at her wedding, or hold a grandchild.
Why is that always what parents say? That they most look forward to seeing their child get married? That they expect them to have children?
I understand that they are talking about milestones, but why does everyone assume that everyone is going to get married and reproduce?
I mean no disrespect to this woman's family. I understand the loss. My sister was murdered at the same age as this woman. But my parents never said a word about missing her wedding. Maybe that's because she already had a baby. I don't know.
I bring this up because as someone's child... if that's the big event my parents were looking forward to... well I feel like a lousy kid. I'm almost 38. I've never been married. I've never had a kid because I don't want to raise a kid without a husband. I realize that even if I do get married someday, my parents may not be around to witness it. Does that make me a failure? One basic thing that my parents want for me and I can't even give them that!
My thoughts also go to the children who hear this expectation come from their own parents mouths... even though they might be gay. Can you imagine the pressure of a poor kid who knows he or she will never have ANY interest in the opposite sex - to learn that the big day their parents are waiting for is a wedding day?!?
Maybe it comes from knowing a great love.... and wanting nothing but a great love for your child. Maybe that is the supreme happiness. Maybe that's as good as it gets.
But to me, it's almost like saying that unless you find that love... that dang near impossible to find love... that your life was somehow empty. And I guess I find that insulting because I don't view my life as empty.
Maybe some of you folks who have fallen in love and bred and reproduced can enlighten me.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Christmas recap
Wow. I almost forgot to share!
Christmas was so lovely.
This is the first year that I didn't trek home for Christmas with the family.
Since Mr. Burns and I went out to San Francisco for Kimberly & Andrew's wedding the week before Christmas, I begged out on hopping in a car and driving across a state and a half. And I'm talking Colorado and Nebraska.... not two of those puny little states out East that only take an hour to cross!
So on Christmas eve Mr. Burns came to my place just as my brother phoned. We listened to his family along with my parents singing Silent Night over the phone! My brother plays guitar - and after the gifts are opened on Christmas eve, everyone sings Christmas songs and carols. I didn't want to miss that so I asked them to call for at least one song. It made me a little teary picking out the voices of my nieces and nephew at certain points in the song.
After that we went to Midnight Mass at the Cathedral Basilica - Officiated by the Bishop. It was beautiful. The choir - magnificent. I was moved to tears.
Then Christmas morning, I got out of my bed and went to Mr. Burns' room to be sure he was up, as he had committed to lector at the 10:00 Mass at his church.
I crawled into his bed while he went to church.
When he got back home, I was still snuggled under the down comforter with crisp winter sunlight streaming in the floor to ceiling to windows. Such a perfect place!
Then he walked in with a big smile on his face, dangling a gift bag on his finger. We had agreed not to exchange gifts, but he's too sweet and generous for that. I feel a little rotten because I stuck to the agreement - but I'm not working right now so I think we both think that's fair.
Inside the bag... a gift card from a brand new spa just across the stree from his condo. He told me that I could just ooze my way back to his place afterward!
The best part - he purchased the river rock massage!
When Kimberly and I went for Mani/pedis on her wedding day - they used warm river stones to massage our legs. It was amazing!!! Who knew that heated stones could feel so - - - GOOD! After we spent 10 minutes talking about it, I asked Mr. Burns if he could believe we could gush over rocks like that! He couldn't.
But how sweet. He listens. And got me the river stone massage! I'm such a lucky girl.
Once I pulled myself out of bed, we spent the day eating Honey Baked Ham and garlic mashed potatoes, watching movies and watching the snow fall.
The snow fell all day long. It was amazing. We got 8 inches in one day!
So my favorite line from The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band's 'Colorado Christmas' is true:
The closest thing to heaven on this planet anywhere
Is a quiet Christmas morning
in the Colorado snow
Christmas was so lovely.
This is the first year that I didn't trek home for Christmas with the family.
Since Mr. Burns and I went out to San Francisco for Kimberly & Andrew's wedding the week before Christmas, I begged out on hopping in a car and driving across a state and a half. And I'm talking Colorado and Nebraska.... not two of those puny little states out East that only take an hour to cross!
So on Christmas eve Mr. Burns came to my place just as my brother phoned. We listened to his family along with my parents singing Silent Night over the phone! My brother plays guitar - and after the gifts are opened on Christmas eve, everyone sings Christmas songs and carols. I didn't want to miss that so I asked them to call for at least one song. It made me a little teary picking out the voices of my nieces and nephew at certain points in the song.
After that we went to Midnight Mass at the Cathedral Basilica - Officiated by the Bishop. It was beautiful. The choir - magnificent. I was moved to tears.
Then Christmas morning, I got out of my bed and went to Mr. Burns' room to be sure he was up, as he had committed to lector at the 10:00 Mass at his church.
I crawled into his bed while he went to church.
When he got back home, I was still snuggled under the down comforter with crisp winter sunlight streaming in the floor to ceiling to windows. Such a perfect place!
Then he walked in with a big smile on his face, dangling a gift bag on his finger. We had agreed not to exchange gifts, but he's too sweet and generous for that. I feel a little rotten because I stuck to the agreement - but I'm not working right now so I think we both think that's fair.
Inside the bag... a gift card from a brand new spa just across the stree from his condo. He told me that I could just ooze my way back to his place afterward!
The best part - he purchased the river rock massage!
When Kimberly and I went for Mani/pedis on her wedding day - they used warm river stones to massage our legs. It was amazing!!! Who knew that heated stones could feel so - - - GOOD! After we spent 10 minutes talking about it, I asked Mr. Burns if he could believe we could gush over rocks like that! He couldn't.
But how sweet. He listens. And got me the river stone massage! I'm such a lucky girl.
Once I pulled myself out of bed, we spent the day eating Honey Baked Ham and garlic mashed potatoes, watching movies and watching the snow fall.
The snow fell all day long. It was amazing. We got 8 inches in one day!
So my favorite line from The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band's 'Colorado Christmas' is true:
The closest thing to heaven on this planet anywhere
Is a quiet Christmas morning
in the Colorado snow
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Why would I ask him?
Dear, Sweet, fabulous Kimberly asked me to be her wedding photographer. I was honored of course, as I am an amature photographer who tends to rely on AUTO. I've yet to embrace aperture and f-stop settings. I was a bit nervous about how things would turn out.
This meant that I would require the use of a flash during the ceremony. Something most churches don't allow. Kimberly of course, had this all worked out with her minister - until the wedding rehearsal.
I spoke with the minister after rehearsal, asking what she would tolerate and what she wouldn't. During this little talk she told me that while she is allowing flash photography in this instance - the other minister was very much against it - and that if he gave me the evil eye during the ceremony - that I should cease taking pictures all together.
I shouldn't have, but I told Kimberly what the minister said. I wanted to be sure that she knew my limitations. In the car ride from the church to the next meeting place - Kimberly had to rant.
This 'other minister' sort of included himself in the ceremony two weeks before the wedding - and had been making changes all over the place.
Kimberly wanted to email him and tell him to back off. "No wait, I'll call him." she said, "and tell him that he can't just change everything that we worked to put in place - at the last minute. What do you think I should say?"
Wow. I didn't want to see anything blow up before the wedding.
I surprised myself by advising her to ask her fiance what he thinks. You see, I've always been a very independent spirit - I question nothing. So when this advice poured out of my mouth I realized just how much I have come to trust Mr. Burns and value his contribution.
I turned to Kimberly and said, "I just know that when I have an issue, and ask Mr. Burns what he thinks - he always has an answer that I would never have arrived at... and it's usually the best answer."
Kimberly agreed. Asking her man for his opinion was a good idea. Then we marveled at these wonderful men in our lives and how we trust them so implicitly. Something the
se two strong headed women NEVER expected to find!
The next day, as the bride and I set out for mani/pedis and hair dos - she turned to me and said, "So I asked the groom what you should do about the other minister and his evil eye."
"Oh good." I said. "What did he say?"
"He says - don't look at him. If you don't make eye contact... there is no problem."
See? We laughed. We would never have thought of that... and it's a great solution!
This meant that I would require the use of a flash during the ceremony. Something most churches don't allow. Kimberly of course, had this all worked out with her minister - until the wedding rehearsal.
I spoke with the minister after rehearsal, asking what she would tolerate and what she wouldn't. During this little talk she told me that while she is allowing flash photography in this instance - the other minister was very much against it - and that if he gave me the evil eye during the ceremony - that I should cease taking pictures all together.
I shouldn't have, but I told Kimberly what the minister said. I wanted to be sure that she knew my limitations. In the car ride from the church to the next meeting place - Kimberly had to rant.
This 'other minister' sort of included himself in the ceremony two weeks before the wedding - and had been making changes all over the place.
Kimberly wanted to email him and tell him to back off. "No wait, I'll call him." she said, "and tell him that he can't just change everything that we worked to put in place - at the last minute. What do you think I should say?"
Wow. I didn't want to see anything blow up before the wedding.
I surprised myself by advising her to ask her fiance what he thinks. You see, I've always been a very independent spirit - I question nothing. So when this advice poured out of my mouth I realized just how much I have come to trust Mr. Burns and value his contribution.
I turned to Kimberly and said, "I just know that when I have an issue, and ask Mr. Burns what he thinks - he always has an answer that I would never have arrived at... and it's usually the best answer."
Kimberly agreed. Asking her man for his opinion was a good idea. Then we marveled at these wonderful men in our lives and how we trust them so implicitly. Something the
se two strong headed women NEVER expected to find!The next day, as the bride and I set out for mani/pedis and hair dos - she turned to me and said, "So I asked the groom what you should do about the other minister and his evil eye."
"Oh good." I said. "What did he say?"
"He says - don't look at him. If you don't make eye contact... there is no problem."
See? We laughed. We would never have thought of that... and it's a great solution!
Friday, December 28, 2007
One Liners
The week before Christmas Mr. Burns and I found ourselves at my dear friend Kimberly's home in San Francisco. This is a friend I see so rarely. Four times in the past 6 years.
Mr. Burns pointed out Kimberly's refrigerator - covered in photos of friends and family - with one HUGE picture of ME!
Seriously.
It was an 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper of just my head! My head from a photo of myself and Mr. Burns. It looked like Mr. Burns didn't make the cut.
We took turns speculating about this giant picture of me... that perhaps Mr. Burns hadn't graduated to the friends and family shrine since Kimberly hadn't met him yet.
When Kimberly entered the kitchen, in my best mockingly accusatory tone I asked her what she was thinking posting such an enormous picture of my head on her fridge.
Her answer. "I hit Print and that's what came out."
Mr. Burns pointed out Kimberly's refrigerator - covered in photos of friends and family - with one HUGE picture of ME!
Seriously.
It was an 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper of just my head! My head from a photo of myself and Mr. Burns. It looked like Mr. Burns didn't make the cut.
We took turns speculating about this giant picture of me... that perhaps Mr. Burns hadn't graduated to the friends and family shrine since Kimberly hadn't met him yet.
When Kimberly entered the kitchen, in my best mockingly accusatory tone I asked her what she was thinking posting such an enormous picture of my head on her fridge.
Her answer. "I hit Print and that's what came out."
Friday, December 07, 2007
My Christmas List
Borrowing this idea from katietimothy.blogspot.com
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Wrapping paper. I love to crisscross corresponding ribbons into neat little bows on top. I do keep gift bags on hand for presents outside of the Christmas season.
2. Real tree or Artificial?
I love a real tree, but I have an artificial now because my place is so small. Someday when I have a house, I'm definately going back to the real thing.
3. When do you put up the tree?
December 8th. The Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Mom always did this... mainly I think because we had the day off of school every year and she could get lots of help from the kids!
4. When do you take the tree down?
January 5th - The Feast of Epiphany. When the wise men reach the Christ Child. In the Catholic calendar, Epiphany marks the end of the Christmas Season.
5. Do you like eggnog?
Not particularly. Plus I'm allergic to eggs so I have a great excuse not to partake!
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
Hmm. That's a tough one. But I do remember being very small and out Christmas shopping with Mom. We were in Rexall Drug and I spotted this HUGE Pooh Bear. (remember this had to be about 1975) I don't think I really desired the bear, but I was overwhelmed by it's size. I retrospect it wasn't THAT big... 2 -3 feet tall, I suppose. I pulled on Mom's arm and said, "Wow, look at that Pooh Bear!" She was noticably uncomfortable as she acknowledged it and pulled my attention elsewhere. On Christmas Morning, I found a huge Winnie the Pooh under the tree.
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Wrapping paper. I love to crisscross corresponding ribbons into neat little bows on top. I do keep gift bags on hand for presents outside of the Christmas season.
2. Real tree or Artificial?
I love a real tree, but I have an artificial now because my place is so small. Someday when I have a house, I'm definately going back to the real thing.
3. When do you put up the tree?
December 8th. The Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Mom always did this... mainly I think because we had the day off of school every year and she could get lots of help from the kids!
4. When do you take the tree down?
January 5th - The Feast of Epiphany. When the wise men reach the Christ Child. In the Catholic calendar, Epiphany marks the end of the Christmas Season.
5. Do you like eggnog?
Not particularly. Plus I'm allergic to eggs so I have a great excuse not to partake!
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
Hmm. That's a tough one. But I do remember being very small and out Christmas shopping with Mom. We were in Rexall Drug and I spotted this HUGE Pooh Bear. (remember this had to be about 1975) I don't think I really desired the bear, but I was overwhelmed by it's size. I retrospect it wasn't THAT big... 2 -3 feet tall, I suppose. I pulled on Mom's arm and said, "Wow, look at that Pooh Bear!" She was noticably uncomfortable as she acknowledged it and pulled my attention elsewhere. On Christmas Morning, I found a huge Winnie the Pooh under the tree.
Funny that memory stood out... and years later I realized why mom was uncomfortable. He was probably already in the secret hiding place and she didn't want to blow her cover!
7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Yes. When my mom and dad were visiting we were milling around some estate sales/ yard sales and stopped at a church sale. Mom pointed out a nativity set just like the one I grew up with... same stable and everything - I paid $10!. The figures are Papier Mache`. I smooshed quite a few of them as a child! It's a little mismatched but reminds me of my childhood!
I saw the most beautiful manger scene for sale the other day... carved of wood and imported from Italy... with a $1200 price tag! That's a lot of stays at an Inn!
8. Hardest person to buy for?
Hmmm. My Brother probably. I think I've hit the mark with him ONCE.... when I got him a tripod for his video camera.
9. Easiest person to buy for?
Dad. He doesn't want anything, doesn't need anything. I get him something warm and a jar of nuts!
10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Hmmm, I'd prefer to do cards (if I actually did them). And oddly, I love getting those newsletters from friends and family. Last year a couple of my relatives skipped the newsletters and I was so sad!
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Hate to say it but anything from my SIL's mom! I wish she didn't love buying gifts so much... I don't understand why I'm on her list - I barely know her! Last year it was a huge talking Easter Bunny! If I had a house with a porch, and children to entertain, it wouldn't be so bad. Or even if I had a basement to store it! I have none of those things! When getting a gift for someone who lives in a 700 sq foot condo... don't give them something that requires 11 months of storage! Get them something consumable!
12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Is this debateable? It's a Wonderful Life. Best movie ever! The film is flawless. love it!
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
I did great this year... I started in October. I have one left to get... since I have to get them all in the mail by the end of the weekend. We're going to San Fran on the 15th. Otherwise, I start picking things up in about August... and go until the week before. I really want to stop the gift giving. Buy less. Give more. - my new Christmas goal.
14. Ever recycled a Christmas present?
Sure. Only once or twice.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Oh, Mom used to make this Almond Bark. Oh yeah. Better get that recipe one of these years.
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Clear. Someday I want to buy sets of Red, Green and White... and then combine them so there is red green and white alternating on each strand. Then I'll make them blink.
17. Favorite Christmas song?
Oh Holy Night. Still looking for the best rendition of it. I also love The Peace Carol and When the River Meets the Sea from John Denver and The Muppets, a Christmas Together.
Then, to ring in the new year.... What are you doing New Year's Eve... Harry Conick Jr does it best!
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
I've traveled EVERY YEAR for Christmas. This year will be my first staying where I live! Can't wait!
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Maybe after a few glasses of wine and a few tries!!
20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Star. Still haven't found the right one, so currently nothing.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Our family exchanges gifts Christmas Eve. Then Santa's gifts are discovered in the morning... then extended family exchanges on Christmas day. It's too much really!
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
The commercialization. I think the same people who are offended by my "Merry Christmas" are the ones ensuring that everyone makes a buck on it!
23. Favorite ornament, theme, or color?
Oh. how I wish the ornaments from my childhood had survived. I loved the glass blown ornaments.. the little oblong ones with stripes. I think my mom has very few survivors.
I have Pooh Bear and Tigger ornaments from Hallmark.... And snowmen! Lots of fat round chubby snow men!
24. What do you want for Christmas this year?
To feel the presence of Christ. To experience the miracle and wonder like I did as a child.
7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Yes. When my mom and dad were visiting we were milling around some estate sales/ yard sales and stopped at a church sale. Mom pointed out a nativity set just like the one I grew up with... same stable and everything - I paid $10!. The figures are Papier Mache`. I smooshed quite a few of them as a child! It's a little mismatched but reminds me of my childhood!
I saw the most beautiful manger scene for sale the other day... carved of wood and imported from Italy... with a $1200 price tag! That's a lot of stays at an Inn!
8. Hardest person to buy for?
Hmmm. My Brother probably. I think I've hit the mark with him ONCE.... when I got him a tripod for his video camera.
9. Easiest person to buy for?
Dad. He doesn't want anything, doesn't need anything. I get him something warm and a jar of nuts!
10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Hmmm, I'd prefer to do cards (if I actually did them). And oddly, I love getting those newsletters from friends and family. Last year a couple of my relatives skipped the newsletters and I was so sad!
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Hate to say it but anything from my SIL's mom! I wish she didn't love buying gifts so much... I don't understand why I'm on her list - I barely know her! Last year it was a huge talking Easter Bunny! If I had a house with a porch, and children to entertain, it wouldn't be so bad. Or even if I had a basement to store it! I have none of those things! When getting a gift for someone who lives in a 700 sq foot condo... don't give them something that requires 11 months of storage! Get them something consumable!
12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Is this debateable? It's a Wonderful Life. Best movie ever! The film is flawless. love it!
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
I did great this year... I started in October. I have one left to get... since I have to get them all in the mail by the end of the weekend. We're going to San Fran on the 15th. Otherwise, I start picking things up in about August... and go until the week before. I really want to stop the gift giving. Buy less. Give more. - my new Christmas goal.
14. Ever recycled a Christmas present?
Sure. Only once or twice.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Oh, Mom used to make this Almond Bark. Oh yeah. Better get that recipe one of these years.
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Clear. Someday I want to buy sets of Red, Green and White... and then combine them so there is red green and white alternating on each strand. Then I'll make them blink.
17. Favorite Christmas song?
Oh Holy Night. Still looking for the best rendition of it. I also love The Peace Carol and When the River Meets the Sea from John Denver and The Muppets, a Christmas Together.
Then, to ring in the new year.... What are you doing New Year's Eve... Harry Conick Jr does it best!
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
I've traveled EVERY YEAR for Christmas. This year will be my first staying where I live! Can't wait!
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Maybe after a few glasses of wine and a few tries!!
20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Star. Still haven't found the right one, so currently nothing.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Our family exchanges gifts Christmas Eve. Then Santa's gifts are discovered in the morning... then extended family exchanges on Christmas day. It's too much really!
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
The commercialization. I think the same people who are offended by my "Merry Christmas" are the ones ensuring that everyone makes a buck on it!
23. Favorite ornament, theme, or color?
Oh. how I wish the ornaments from my childhood had survived. I loved the glass blown ornaments.. the little oblong ones with stripes. I think my mom has very few survivors.
I have Pooh Bear and Tigger ornaments from Hallmark.... And snowmen! Lots of fat round chubby snow men!
24. What do you want for Christmas this year?
To feel the presence of Christ. To experience the miracle and wonder like I did as a child.
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