tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post2125960159447664235..comments2023-05-06T08:45:27.865-06:00Comments on Single Solitary Things: Real Women Keep Their Mouths ShutTRShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09801686710086039781noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-86638647162011279992009-04-05T19:54:00.000-06:002009-04-05T19:54:00.000-06:00Katie - thanks for sharing that. You are right - ...Katie - thanks for sharing that. You are right - because the person/ man who loves you knows you best - your good qualities and your bad! You and the ED have such a great relationship! <BR/><BR/>Caribbean - I also accept compliments... but I also learned at an early age to poke fun of myself before some bully had the chance - so it's sort of engrained in me. <BR/>as an example - last night he made some comment about a butt - I don't even remember it - then I made a crack about my non-existant butt - and later when he hugged me hard and squished my boob - after he noticed that I winced in pain I made a crack that 'hey my boobs are just thrilled that they're big enough to get in the way!" <BR/><BR/>and again he expressed utter amazement that I make these cracks and observations about my body. Worst of all - I don't even know that I'm doing it! <BR/><BR/>Ronnica - you're right - in some cases the comments were out of envy or admiration. but in others - it's still the same catty jr high stuff that is foremost, pointing out over and over that you're different and not acceptable. <BR/>At least that's how it felt.TRShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09801686710086039781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-1622680619494031722009-04-04T18:54:00.000-06:002009-04-04T18:54:00.000-06:00I was/am one of those skinny girls too! I have put...I was/am one of those skinny girls too! I have put on some more weight now and so I am just 'petite' now and I feel comfortable. I used to be very insecure but I guess that changed the more I got into spending time with God...I barely remember how awfully insecure I was actually! I especially agonized about being so small-breasted back then. What I do now is just focus on wearing what does the most for me in the best way (modest and stylish clothes, accessories etc).<BR/><BR/>I also notice that the guy who likes you doesn't see the flaws you see or think much about them as we girls do. I am so happy about that! I have now learnt to just accept the compliments. Before I used to argue about it, or try to bring it up first in case he would be thinking about it. I realize I may have gotten some sympathy, but it also created the risk of coming across as low-confidence-high maintenance, as well as needlessly bringing to attention something the other person had never even thought about!<BR/><BR/>Your confidence and how comfortable you are in your own skin, really does come across to others and add to how attractive we appear :)<BR/><BR/>I have seen those parts of pics you posted and I honestly thought you looked great, slim and fit!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-15865455515680705212009-04-02T11:58:00.000-06:002009-04-02T11:58:00.000-06:00I've never had that struggle, so I definitely don'...I've never had that struggle, so I definitely don't understand. I was a little bigger as a kid, and I've definitely blossomed out since then. I think all the "you're so skinny" comments never were intended to be hurtful, it's just you have/had what those girls/women were striving after. I think we all should work on being healthy, and that definitely looks different for each person.Ronnicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18242687458315186709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-72664577949189349232009-04-02T09:36:00.000-06:002009-04-02T09:36:00.000-06:00The only think I wanted to comment on was your las...The only think I wanted to comment on was your last line. <BR/><BR/>It may be important to sensor what you are thinking and how you feel when starting dating. However, in my experience, it is important to tell your significant other your insecurities. This has been SOOOO hard for me...admitting weakness is not something I'm very good at. But the ear doctor helps me get over them. And he knows it's important for him to reassure me that my insecurities aren't really as big as I make them out to be in my mind.Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05587622592688368240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-28318976626370314732009-03-31T17:39:00.000-06:002009-03-31T17:39:00.000-06:00I found your pondering to be very interesting. I ...I found your pondering to be very interesting. I was a skinny teen. At 5'10" I weighed 113 to 117 through high school and college. No figure. Now, after a couple of kids, I finally grew breasts and hips and a belly. The funny thing is, I look at myself and I see me as fat. Not because I am, (although I might be just a wee bit fluffy) but because in my mind, I should still be 113 pounds & almost six feet. So no matter what I weigh, it still seems like it's too much. (Oh, and those boobs I grew? Now that I am over 40 they seem to be reaching for the ground. Gravity sucks.)Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03103467314934540256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-15100459042898935762009-03-31T16:28:00.000-06:002009-03-31T16:28:00.000-06:00I've been following your blog since your awesome p...I've been following your blog since your awesome post on Rocks in my Dryer. I was super thin and had a boyish figure growing up. I had nicknames of Skinny Minny and Olive Oil. My much more voluptuous cousin loved to call me the President of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. The thing that bothered me most as an adult was my small chest. After having three babies, I have put on some weight and am a bit more curvy, but it went everywhere but my chest. In fact, after nursing three kids, my chest is even smaller than it was to begin with - talk about deflating the ego. I am learning to be happy with my body as I am sure when I am older I will look back and say, I looked so young and skinny and what was wrong with me that I couldn't see it. Also, it is more important to me than ever to learn to love my body because I now have a daughter to whom I will be a role model in that respect and I want her to be happy with her body, no matter what shape she ends up with.Bonniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00470525042835965085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-90769406086078155612009-03-31T14:57:00.000-06:002009-03-31T14:57:00.000-06:00My mother was that skinny/no breasted. She had to ...My mother was that skinny/no breasted. She had to get all her clothes altered. She was attractive, though, and had a lot of men pursuing her, maybe because she was kind of exotic (auburn-haired waifs were pretty unusual at the time, and she was also fun and very very outgoing). <BR/><BR/>You should know that we women are usually our worst enemies. I did not feel feminine until my mid-20s. Even though I was curvy enough (small waist, large hips, at the time I had smallish breasts but perky and visible enough). I felt unfeminine because I acted unfeminine, because I have always been clumsy and had an ugly walking style, and so I dressed in an unflattering way too: either unshaped, baggy clothing in grey-ish colours or too short, too revealing clothing. I started loving my body when I came back to Christianity (it's true) and ever since have discovered colours and clothing styles that make me feel pretty and feminine. And accessories! I can say that now I feel feminine, finally :-)knit_tgzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04110553863107273416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-74866788265739157232009-03-30T20:11:00.000-06:002009-03-30T20:11:00.000-06:00Hey thanks for stopping by and commenting!!! I've...Hey thanks for stopping by and commenting!!! I've been more of a silent follower but I have been reading. <BR/><BR/>I hear ya (no boobs/butt here either) and I understand. Milissa's completely right about accepting the guy's compliment. I know it's hard to do though b/c I have the same problem accepting how others (especially men) view me. but we just gotta tell ourselves...you look great! (or at least you don't look half bad...ha) And you look great from the pic you posted.Steamed Dumplinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17322932043695113668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-70959413453679034582009-03-30T17:01:00.000-06:002009-03-30T17:01:00.000-06:00Girl I hear ya! I was the SAME way...until I was ...Girl I hear ya! I was the SAME way...until I was 27...and then there was a shift in hormones or something b/c I gained some weight. I remember the first couple years of gaining weight...it was a slow process but all of a sudden I wasn't a size 0 and I was fitting well in women's clothes. I LOVED it...until 2 years later when I realized that I had gained too much weight and thus began the battle of taking some off. BLAH. <BR/><BR/>When I was still a "skinny-mini" I remember having an "argument" with a coworker. He called me anorexic or Ethiopian or something like that and I called him "baldy." He was bald...apparently that was a touchy subject for him (which I didn't know) but it proved my point. He immediately understood and apologized...then I apologized and we were friends again.<BR/><BR/>I guess the weight gain has helped me see the other side. I never made fun of heavy people (unless I was defending myself against their name calling) but I never understood why people couldn't stop eating when they were full, or would eat such unhealthy foods all the time, or just didn't exercise.<BR/><BR/>I have learned, it is hard to be on either side of the weight issue. I am since down 10 lbs...I have 10 more to go to get to my perfect weight. Everyone has body issues...sometimes the issue is not reflective of what is actually seen in the mirror.<BR/><BR/>So find a guy that you connect with...who thinks you're hot/sexy...and NEVER argue with him. Just say "Thanks!" b/c it's important your partner sees you that way...and honestly who cares about what anyone else thinks? Hopefully he'll be such a good sweet talker he'll convince you that you truly are beautiful and feminine. (which is the truth anyway :)Milissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04986484484324086968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-62552854817240884732009-03-30T16:30:00.000-06:002009-03-30T16:30:00.000-06:00I was skinny back in the day, IM not heavy I've lo...I was skinny back in the day, IM not heavy I've lost alot, I want one thing is a nice guy that understands me and to experience childbirth like you. There is someone I like we've gone out and we are close friends, he wants nothing at the moment, but, my friends tell me I need to tell him the truth. As you only live once.<BR/> As for a fiqure, I don't have much of a butt, it's hard to find something nice to look in. But, those women need to Shut Up, they don't get it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-28383558542872454342009-03-30T13:01:00.000-06:002009-03-30T13:01:00.000-06:00I am "skinny" too, so I know what you mean. And no...I am "skinny" too, so I know what you mean. And now that all my friends have had kids, it became even more "not cool" for me not to have a butt or a chest!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11551272984388114722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-61537526728285356772009-03-30T12:52:00.000-06:002009-03-30T12:52:00.000-06:00I've never had your experience as far as the "boyi...I've never had your experience as far as the "boyish" or "stick" figure thing, I was a chubby kid and voluptuous by age 12. I battle my weight everyday. However, I have had the experience of realizing guys do not see my figure the way I see it...they seem to see "the good" (nice legs, chest, whatever) and "the bad" (cellulite, extra weight in the hips, whatever) is non-existant or just does't matter to them. <BR/><BR/>For the record, you have shown your figure here from the neck down and I would certainly not describe you as a stick or boyish. Athletically fit, yes. Feminine, definitely. <BR/><BR/>We all need to give each other a break and certainly give ourselves a break.Dorishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09167997687171327482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-47363025372217986682009-03-30T12:46:00.000-06:002009-03-30T12:46:00.000-06:00I think it's sad that people have gone from "skinn...I think it's sad that people have gone from "skinny is beautiful" to "skinny is giving other women eating disorders." Dude. If it's someone's natural body type and they are healthy, lay off.<BR/><BR/>My word verification for this comment is "briesiti." Brie City! I love cheese! Ha.Marinhttp://firstoffifth.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8987305.post-55714874474740422512009-03-30T11:49:00.000-06:002009-03-30T11:49:00.000-06:00i'm always amazed to hear how the men i've dated h...i'm always amazed to hear how the men i've dated have viewed me physically. i'm more in the "voluptuous/curvy" category, and i always saw that as a reason that men wouldn't be attracted to me. come to find out, there are LOTS of men that find my body type attractive. in the last few years as i've become more comfortable with who i am both inside and out, the only times i've had trouble finding men to date is when i'm feeling bad about myself for some reason. when i'm feeling confident emotionally and physically, the way my body looks doesn't tend to stand in my way. i never thought that would be the case!<BR/><BR/>women in general are so hard on themselves and each other that it's refreshing to hear what a real man finds attractive. let him make you feel feminine and beautiful...and enjoy it!auntiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15977335384543321307noreply@blogger.com